OCD and Lack of Faith/Doubting Salvation

[RedMan1972]

I recently developed OCD last year as a bad case of bronchitis (I had ocnvinced myself I had cancer and couldn't get the thought out of my head). I went through all the test and they came back clean so that thought was laid to rest.

As I was doing my daily Bible study/prayer last week, I was reasing James 5. The commentary for the last verse said that Christians continure to debate the validity of 'Once Saved, Always Saved.' A thought went through my head, "What if it's not once saved, always saved." Bam. New panic attacks and OCD. I found a website about it that helped ease my fears.

This week, I was reading Galatians and it mentioned the perfect life Jesus led in the commentary. And I thought, "What if I don't believe that Jesus truly led a perfect life, that he wasn't born of the Virgin birth, etc." New panic attacks and OCD. This one has been harder to shake.

The funny thing is I can pin point the exact moment I was saved, the years I spent never questioning anything and always believeing. I know I believe but I can't shake this thought. And it scares me. I feel like it's a lack of faith on my part and that I'm not truly saved. It doesn't help that I have a problem with one particular sin that I used to quite enjoy before I was saved. It seems sometimes I slip up with it and that makes me wonder too.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I am seeing a psychiatrist and therapist. I was placed on Zoloft (in my 4th week) but it doesn't seem to be helping too much. Of course, I'm expecting a drug where I won't worry anymore and that's probably not possible.

Anyway, please pray for me. Has anyone else experienced thoughts similar to these? If so, how did you overcome them?

 

[aintzaJainkoari]

Just trust in God, yeah I had trouble with a sin problem of a sexual nature (I'm sure that's what you're probably talking about), I still have trouble with it. I used to be addicted to it, but ask Him to free you from it, confess your problems/weaknesses/sins to Him (it helps more than you know), repent of it, renounce it, and ask Him to keep you from it while doing your best to turn from it and forsake it. If you fail, immediately repent and ask His forgiveness, and get back up.

If you have trouble being motivated, ask for it in Jesus' Name, do your best, and think about Heaven and the rewards you will receive for doing what is right, remember that you are a child of God, and your Father is loving, gracious, merciful, forgiving, and has the power over evil. Focus on Him at all times, literally, try to think about Him, His Love, and His Will at all times. Repent of your sins, ask Him to show you your sins and help you change, ask for His blessings, deliverance, healing, and guidance.

And REMEMBER to read HIS WORD and PRAY, even when you don't feel like it.

 

[seajoy]

Learn all you can about exposure/response therapy. God used it to rid me of my unwanted/unwarranted thoughts about Him. Ask your doctor about it. it works!
God bless.

 

[Kazkoss]

Check out all the great, uplifting verses at Ruukasu's 'Why your saved' thread.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Redman,
It was a brave and good thing to state your anxious OCD thoughts with such transparency. Because you did that you now can know, by reading posts in this forum, that you are not alone. With my "Doubting" OCD thoughts I'm learning to just "let them be there." That's no easy task because they are certainly very alarming. (Yes I too have thought things like ... maybe you don't even really believe Jesus is God anymore..etc.,etc,). One thing that has helped me is looking back at times in my life as a Christian when my OCD wasn't flaring and recognizing that during those times an errant thought like "what if I'm not really a Christian", could pop in my head and not really shake me up much at all. When my OCD is flaring, then a thought like that can make me miserable for quite some time. I'm fairly certain that most Christians have moments of doubt that confront them about their salvation.. but it's only the Christians with OCD who can be tortured by such thoughts.
I'm glad you are trying Meds. if that one doesn't help take the edge off soon try another. Also see about talking to a good Psychologist about exposure/response therapy. I've been working on that with my OCD thoughts and it really helps... even though it seems to be the opposite thing of what my brain tells me I should do.
Blessings.