nothiing special

[jsimms615]

I posted here a few weeks ago about my search for a church home. I grew up Methodist, but then switched to Baptist when I was 18. It was more an issue of the fact that the Baptist church had evening services and at the time I worked during the day on Sunday and the church was nearby.

There have been times when I have not felt like I fit in anywhere in the church. My family and I disagree about what is important and where to go. My kids are important to me and their spiritual development and would like somewhere with a good size youth group. I live about 25 minutes outside of a good size town in North Carolina. Our area is fairly rural and most of the churches here are fairly small and mainly the congregations are older.

We have gone to one of those smaller churches the last two weeks. The preaching has been okay, but not great. The music has been okay, but not great either. I don't particularly feel inspired, but it has been a long time since I have felt inspired anywhere. Everytime I look for a good size church near us it looks to be at least 35 minute drive or more away. Most of the larger churches don't seem to have an evening service, which I would like to go to. I am so tired of church hopping. When I think about possibly staying at this church I think of it as "nothing special" and not really anything I can get excited about. Should I feel "excited" about going to church? I haven't felt that way in so long it would probably seem foreign to me now if I did.

I spent the morning watching Dr.Stanley on television and then went to the small church in the evening then had an argument with my daughter because she hates going to it.

 

[cerette]

What does going to church mean to you? Is it that you want to be spiritually entertained and excited with good music, a great crowd and a charismatic preacher?

For me, it is about being spiritually fed with God's Word and the sacrament. I go to grow in my faith and to worship God. With that in mind, it doesn't really matter how few or many other attend, and how old they are. Of course it helps if the preacher has a good preaching style so I don't end up daydreaming, but still it is about the message, and not about the person delivering the message.

I hope you will find a good church for your family to attend!

 

[Bill Shadowcat]

I hope you find a good church, too. It is sad that so many don't do evening services anymore. Morning services aren't convenient for many people such as yourself and some of us just aren't morning people! (myself, for sure!)

Just keep in mind that going to church doesn't make one a Christian anymore than hanging out in a garage makes one a car.

A suggestion - If you haven't yet, see what all Baptist/Methodist/Whatever you like churches are in your local phone book. Maybe there's one in a nearby town that you don't even know about. Good luck!

 

[jsimms615]

What does going to church mean to you? Is it that you want to be spiritually entertained and excited with good music, a great crowd and a charismatic preacher?

For me, it is about being spiritually fed with God's Word and the sacrament. I go to grow in my faith and to worship God. With that in mind, it doesn't really matter how few or many other attend, and how old they are. Of course it helps if the preacher has a good preaching style so I don't end up daydreaming, but still it is about the message, and not about the person delivering the message.

I hope you will find a good church for your family to attend!

mainly going to church is something I want to do first to honor God and also to learn more about him. I also want my children to learn about him and feel engaged in it and not hate it like I did when I was growing up.

 

[FreedByte]

- redacted -

 

[snumerouno]

It sounds like you are choosing a Church for all the wrong reasons.

 

[Albion]

It sounds like you are choosing a Church for all the wrong reasons.

On this forum we don't judge the people who come looking for help in finding the right church.

That said, I can appreciate JSimms' predicament. I've known a lot of other people, and even had it happen to me, for whom finding a congregation that aligned with one's beliefs was really hard to do.

You'd think that with 40,000 denominations or whatever it's supposed to be, it would be easy. The right profile would certainly be there in some church on some street corner. But it's often not, and not because the seeker is after some really weird or obviously unthinkable doctrine or practice.

 

[jsimms615]

church.org is an online church directory that might help - it helped me when I was a brand new Christian

Okay, thanks

 

[jrdnoland]

For what it's worth, I'd start by looking at the doctrines and theologies being taught by the churches in your area. Following God's design as best you understand it is an important factor in your life, your leadership in your family, your activities, etc.

Read the general beliefs of the churches in your area, talk to (email or in person) to the leadership, listen to sermons online if they have them. etc.

You may think that a good youth group is the most important thing, but consider what God says about how youth are to be taught and raised, also default to God's truth, not to the traditions and teachings of man, no matter how common they are in our culture.

 

[parsley]

I would start with your kids. If you find a perfect large church, they might feel lost in it and even treated like outsiders. Ask them to be part of the decision, and use the time to train them in how to seek our spiritual support. Be creative, and allow them to exercise a little creativity too.

See if there are any outdoor services this summer -- they can make a big impact on people and shake things up. Ask your kids to make a list of places they're curious about and would like to try. Teach them how to negotiate within fair boundaries.

It's not just about landing, but about getting there. They can grow so much in the Lord by being part of the process.

One of the strongest Christian families I know committed to leading a worship service in a soup kitchen, and their teens didn't just attend or help out -- they sometimes led parts of the service.

Allow your kids to grow into having a responsible voice in society. That doesn't always happen in a large energetic youth group. Sometimes it has to happen where the kids feel needed.

 

[jsimms615]

I would start with your kids. If you find a perfect large church, they might feel lost in it and even treated like outsiders. Ask them to be part of the decision, and use the time to train them in how to seek our spiritual support. Be creative, and allow them to exercise a little creativity too.

See if there are any outdoor services this summer -- they can make a big impact on people and shake things up. Ask your kids to make a list of places they're curious about and would like to try. Teach them how to negotiate within fair boundaries.

It's not just about landing, but about getting there. They can grow so much in the Lord by being part of the process.

One of the strongest Christian families I know committed to leading a worship service in a soup kitchen, and their teens didn't just attend or help out -- they sometimes led parts of the service.

Allow your kids to grow into having a responsible voice in society. That doesn't always happen in a large energetic youth group. Sometimes it has to happen where the kids feel needed.

unfortunately, they have both told me that they don't care to go or where they go. They think that I am being mean by taking them. I just had this argument with my daughter this morning. She wanted to go spend the night at a friend's house. i told her she could go, but I would pick her up in the morning for church. She complained quite a bit about that. I guess she wants to stay up late and talk with her friend

 

[jrdnoland]

unfortunately, they have both told me that they don't care to go or where they go. They think that I am being mean by taking them. I just had this argument with my daughter this morning. She wanted to go spend the night at a friend's house. i told her she could go, but I would pick her up in the morning for church. She complained quite a bit about that. I guess she wants to stay up late and talk with her friend

I will give you some verses, you can figure out the implications; basically it sounds to me like you are reaping what you have sown, there is still hope but you must get back to the principles God has given us in His Word:

Matthew 12:30 Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.


2 John 1:10-11 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.


1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.


1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

 

[jsimms615]

I will give you some verses, you can figure out the implications; basically it sounds to me like you are reaping what you have sown, there is still hope but you must get back to the principles God has given us in His Word:

Matthew 12:30 Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.


2 John 1:10-11 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.


1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.


1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

I really don't see that those verses relate to what I have said.

 

[jrdnoland]

I really don't see that those verses relate to what I have said.

What I'm trying to show you is that since your daughter is spending the night with a friend that you seem to approve of, that that is pointing to the real problem.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong but the implication is that the friend is not a christian, otherwise your daughter would go to church with her friend and the friends family; whether that's a different denomination or home church or whatever, it would be some sort of worship.

As Christians we are not to be friends with the world, we love all, but that doesn't mean we act like and hang out with the world.

There are other indicators of issues with what you have wrote, but I hope this helps you see the bigger problems.

 

[jsimms615]

What I'm trying to show you is that since your daughter is spending the night with a friend that you seem to approve of, that that is pointing to the real problem.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong but the implication is that the friend is not a christian, otherwise your daughter would go to church with her friend and the friends family; whether that's a different denomination or home church or whatever, it would be some sort of worship.

As Christians we are not to be friends with the world, we love all, but that doesn't mean we act like and hang out with the world.

There are other indicators of issues with what you have wrote, but I hope this helps you see the bigger problems.

Sounds like your making some assumptions. We are actually going to church today, even though she spent the night at a friend's house. That was part of the deal when I let her go.

What your suggesting about friendships I don't agree with either. Jesus was friend's with tax gatherers and sinners. He loved people and it was his love for them that opened their hearts to being transformed. Also look at 1 Corinhians 5:9-12. Paul did not say to not be friends with those who are lost. He actually wrote not to associate with so called "brother" who is immoral person or a drunkard or a swindler, not to even eat with such a person.

 

[Tigger45]

What I'm trying to show you is that since your daughter is spending the night with a friend that you seem to approve of, that that is pointing to the real problem.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong but the implicWation is that the friend is not a christian, otherwise your daughter would go to church with her friend and the friends family; whether that's a different denomination or home church or whatever, it would be some sort of worship.

As Christians we are not to be friends with the world, we love all, but that doesn't mean we act like and hang out with the world.

There are other indicators of issues with what you have wrote, but I hope this helps you see the bigger problems.

The OP is looking for a church to worship God and so that he and his family would grow in the knowledge of God. Why would God not want to bless that? We all fall short of the Glory of God. He loves it when His children want to be washed by the Word. He also tells us not to forsake the fellowship of believers. Why would He impede anyone from seeking that which He specifically commands?

 

[jrdnoland]

Sounds like your making some assumptions. We are actually going to church today, even though she spent the night at a friend's house. That was part of the deal when I let her go.

What your suggesting about friendships I don't agree with either. Jesus was friend's with tax gatherers and sinners. He loved people and it was his love for them that opened their hearts to being transformed. Also look at 1 Corinhians 5:9-12. Paul did not say to not be friends with those who are lost. He actually wrote not to associate with so called "brother" who is immoral person or a drunkard or a swindler, not to even eat with such a person.

I said I could be reading it wrong, you did not say she was going to church with you, thus my concerns. We must do all to the glory of God, if staying with someone all night does not glorify God then it shouldn't be done.

Jesus ate with and talked to people who were blatantly sinning, He did not conform to what they where doing or how they were living. His closest relationship were with those He called His brothers and sisters, we are to be in the world not of the world.

We must also understand that being in the world, but not of it, is necessary if we are to be a light to those who are in spiritual darkness. We are to live in such a way that those outside the faith see our good deeds and our manner and know that there is something “different” about us. Christians who make every effort to live, think and act like those who do not know Christ do Him a great disservice. Even the heathen knows that “by their fruits you shall know them,” and as Christians, we should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit within us.

Being “in” the world also means we can enjoy the things of the world, such as the beautiful creation God has given us, but we are not to immerse ourselves in what the world values, nor are we to chase after worldly pleasures. Pleasure is no longer our calling in life, as it once was, but rather the worship of God.

 

[jsimms615]

I said I could be reading it wrong, you did not say she was going to church with you, thus my concerns. We must do all to the glory of God, if staying with someone all night does not glorify God then it shouldn't be done.

Jesus ate with and talked to people who were blatantly sinning, He did not conform to what they where doing or how they were living. His closest relationship were with those He called His brothers and sisters, we are to be in the world not of the world.

We must also understand that being in the world, but not of it, is necessary if we are to be a light to those who are in spiritual darkness. We are to live in such a way that those outside the faith see our good deeds and our manner and know that there is something “different” about us. Christians who make every effort to live, think and act like those who do not know Christ do Him a great disservice. Even the heathen knows that “by their fruits you shall know them,” and as Christians, we should exhibit the fruit of the Spirit within us.

Being “in” the world also means we can enjoy the things of the world, such as the beautiful creation God has given us, but we are not to immerse ourselves in what the world values, nor are we to chase after worldly pleasures. Pleasure is no longer our calling in life, as it once was, but rather the worship of God.

It sounds to me like your making assumptions about me and my daughter and judging. My daugher is actually very level headed and a good influence on those around her. she picks her friends careful and has a good sense of right and wrong. Most of her friends are christians, but a few are not. This particular girl has gone to church with us when normally she would not. It is a requirement that I have that she go to church on Sunday whether or not she wants to and she knows that.

I did ask this girl's mother about whether or not they go to church. She said she grew up Catholic, but left because she had a bad experience. By engaging this family and having contact with them, I believe we are being a good witness when otherwise they might not see that witness.

 

[Tigger45]

I posted here a few weeks ago about my search for a church home. I grew up Methodist, but then switched to Baptist when I was 18. It was more an issue of the fact that the Baptist church had evening services and at the time I worked during the day on Sunday and the church was nearby.

There have been times when I have not felt like I fit in anywhere in the church. My family and I disagree about what is important and where to go. My kids are important to me and their spiritual development and would like somewhere with a good size youth group. I live about 25 minutes outside of a good size town in North Carolina. Our area is fairly rural and most of the churches here are fairly small and mainly the congregations are older.

We have gone to one of those smaller churches the last two weeks. The preaching has been okay, but not great. The music has been okay, but not great either. I don't particularly feel inspired, but it has been a long time since I have felt inspired anywhere. Everytime I look for a good size church near us it looks to be at least 35 minute drive or more away. Most of the larger churches don't seem to have an evening service, which I would like to go to. I am so tired of church hopping. When I think about possibly staying at this church I think of it as "nothing special" and not really anything I can get excited about. Should I feel "excited" about going to church? I haven't felt that way in so long it would probably seem foreign to me now if I did.

I spent the morning watching Dr.Stanley on television and then went to the small church in the evening then had an argument with my daughter because she hates going to it.

As you know church hopping is not good for kids. I would pick the best one possible with all things considered. I've have gone through similar things and during these times can really deepen your faith by drawer even more on your personal walk with the Lord. By picking the best church for your situation, maybe strengthening your home spiritual culture and pulling from other sources like listening to Charles Stanley then you've created a good environment for you and your kids.

 

[jsimms615]

As you know church hopping is not good for kids. I would pick the best one possible with all things considered. I've have gone through similar things and during these times can really deepen your faith by drawer even more on your personal walk with the Lord. By picking the best church for your situation, maybe strengthening your home spiritual culture and pulling from other sources like listening to Charles Stanley then you've created a good environment for you and your kids.

yes, I agree.