not very important topic

[vikki78]

 

[WithLoveFromAlyssa]

I once read a great article online... It puts things into such a bigger perspective... Can you go one second without?... Think about it.. Your goal of ending depression, (Which NEEDS to be a goal) Will only come true if You let God help you... Can I go one second without this feeling, that feeling? Think in Literal seconds. The time its taken you to read this has already been Quite a few literal seconds and you're doing just fine. So next time you're upset think.."I can I go ONE second without thinking negative thoughts...Feeling Depressed, Worthless..etc whatever the problem/s you have..It helps so much. Prayers for you Stay strong God bless... God kept you alive for a reason.

 

[Spunkn]

This is a very important topic. It's about a life who feels lost. But it's a life worth saving.

I don't know what you've been through. I don't know what has caused your life to be of such pain and depression that you want to end it. I will say that I've been there. I can't say that I tried to end it, but I definately thought about it many times.

Think for a moment about when the cops came. You said they came too quick and saved your life. If God did not want to help you, wouldn't the cops have showed up late? God is working to keep you alive. To keep you from taking that last step, and I pray that you don't take it no matter how badly it gets.

I feel as if words are hollow to help you in your situation, but sometimes words are all we have. I call it my 911 verse but

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope

God wants you to have a future and He wants you to have hope.

Why do you feel as if you can't trust God? I'm not saying that to question you, I just want to better understand. So if you could clarify that question or go deeper into it I would appreciate it.

I will send you a PM with my email address. You can email me at pretty much any time of the day and I will usually be able to respond for the most part.

Praying for you, dont give up hope.

 

[vikki78]

 

[Spunkn]

hello, tnx for the replies. don't know what to write. so many thoughts. there are so many ppl who are feeling worse then me, they need help not me. Too many second to count and take, I cant go a sec without it. There are two parts of me (as everybody does have), the one I call Vikki, she's very strong, she beats me up and kicks me almost all the time, especially if I want to scream for help, if I want talk to God. She laughs at me, she tells and proves me I can't go to God, can't trust him. I don't argue with her, she's just another part of me, she knows me, what's the best thing for me, and why would I argue with myself? I have some memory when I was out then, and it's kind of standing between death and me. Vikki is so proud of what we did 2 years ago. Oh, it's all BS!! Forget it! I'm doing great, nothing's matter, it's not imporant! Hell? so what? so many ppl there already. Me screams - Help, i need help, but Vikki, she does not need help, she's strong. but somehow when i'm by the tree, i'm calling for her and she's not there to push me, I hate you Vikki, the same as i hate everybody! but I know you will come back to me. Sorry everybody, you don't have to reply, I'll understand

The second part of you, is not another person, but Satan trying to tell you that you can't go to God for help. Satan wants to keep you from getting better. From experiencing the life God has for you. Satan wants to feed you lies and tell you there are others out there more important than you.

But the truth is YOU are important to God. He created you. For a purpose. He wants to love YOU. No matter how bad you get, no matter what you did. He still loves you. God's grace is unending and so is His forgiveness. If it wasn't, He would not have sent His Son to die on the Cross for ALL our sins.

Hold onto truth. God is truth. The Bible is truth. Satan will only feed you lies, that make you feel miserable and that you are unworthy.

Reach out to God no matter what "the other part of you" says. Reach out and pray for God's help. Because I believe He will in some way answer.

You can trust God. You can go to Him. He welcomes you with open arms. I pray that you God will give you the strength to get through this.

 

[Spunkn]

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing can seperate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

[Chaplain David]

Hello Vicki,

I am one of the forum chaplains. I am writing you a pm so please look out for that. You need 15 posts to send pm's and if you want you can go to the introduction forum or games forum and quickly achieve that number. If you want you can also reply to me via email.

Please feel free to come to the Ask a Chaplain forum and start a thread. We have three ordained ministers that work in their and we strive to give our best to the people who post in AAC.

God bless you and I am praying for you.

Faithfully,

CH Sacerdote

 

[vikki78]

 

[Spunkn]

I strongly urge you to get help. Call one of your family members. Call a church.

Don't give in to Satan's lies that they will be much better without you. That is not true. Your family will never be the same. They will have lost a part of them, and you can never replace that.

Satan doesn't want you to be happy Vikki, but God does. God wants you to find healing and love. I hope that you do not stop writing, because in doing so you give in to Satan. Satan has no power over God. God created Satan and God is ruler of everything. He has the power.

Still praying for you

 

[Servant of Jesus]

You are a Christian and have the Holy Spirit within you, who you need to fully trust to guide you through life.

I can tell you from much sad experience that when you stop trying to figure out on your own how your life should unfold, but totally trust God to be your guide through life, you will be at peace.

So pray right now:

"God, I don't understand my life, the futility, the misery, the loneliness; why me God??? Why do I need to suffer?? I have nowhere to turn but to You- so I hereby put my life fully in your hands, take my hand, hold it tight, and lead me; I'll trust you no matter how scary it gets."

Be like the client of a mountain guide, who must totally trust that guide to take them to the top of the mountain. You may be totally consumed by fear- but you need to trust that guide to take you through dangerous ground, through stormy weather; upwards and onward to the summit.

Despite the storms, every mountain peak eventually has a glorious sunrise. Trust that you too will see better days.

 

[Satine]

I can identify with the feeling of having more than one self. I think if more people recognised and accepted that they are complex enough entities to have conflicting desires, moods, levels of confidence and all kinds of other things then they'd find life a lot clearer to understand.

I daresay Vicki can be useful to you but as it is, I get the impression you're - the less-confident you - not feeling listened to. Well, Vicki is doing what she needs to to survive, and you are too. But it sounds like you're each pulling in different directions.

Trust vs. mistrust is the earliest thing we learn as newborns. So those of us who struggle to trust feel that difficulty very deeply indeed. I suspect there is a lot more to this issue than you have said here and than we could go through in one sitting, but it might interest you to know that because mistrust is a learned state, it can be unlearned. You learned to mistrust when you were tiny, when your survival was dependant on one caregiver who in some way failed you. You are now a grown adult and you have far more choices. You can speak and walk and you have hundreds of skills to allow you to 'do' life.

I don't expect what I'm saying here to wreak huge changes for you, but I would urge you to mull this over. Your mistrust is something you can reconsider, little bit by little bit. Change of this type is uncomfortable, but as someone who has worked on it a lot herself, I can assure you that it is worth it.

I hope you have a pleasant day and that you find something useful in this thread.

And I will echo the words of posters before me: contrary to your thread title, this is an important thread. It is about the business of being happy and having vitality. Your life (I hope) will be long. And a long life is much more pleasant if it is happy.

Vicki does a lot of fighting and I wonder if perhaps she fights enough to keep you both alive. She dares to hope, but you are the half that keeps itself in reserve just in case. I can identify with that. Think about ways to work together with her and you may find yet that you make a formidable team. Getting to know and trust your blousier side will take a while and take courage, but you have all the time you allow yourself to have.

Go for gold, Vikki. There is much to life if you reach out for it.

 

[vikki78]

 

[Spunkn]

Just keep writing what you are feeling with. What you are struggling with. By coming to this forum , the weak Vikki is still fighting. Still wants a chance that there's hope. Everytime you post, you gain a little bit stronger.

Don't give up.

 

[vikki78]

 

[Spunkn]

Praying for you regardless of what you decide to do

 

[RuhanSnyders]

Praying for you!

 

[Spunkn]

Hope you come back Vikki, praying for you

 

[Servant of Jesus]

Remember that us human beings have a terrible inability to put events into a realistic perspective- in a moment of despair, we think the whole world is crashing in on us, when that is just not so.

However, with time and the experience gained from dealing with traumatic events, we learn that we are stronger than we think; that God really can be there to help us through difficult times.

So before you do anything rash, put some time into your life. Time really does heal all wounds, and will make you stronger for it.

I once went almost an entire year where I would wake up every morning and ask myself "are you happy or unhappy?". Most of the time, it was unhappy. Now, though I have gone for many years in the happy mode- and if a feel a bit melancholy some days, well, I just ask God to help me through that day, and the sadness soon passes.

Another thing: make sure you go to a doctor and check to see if your sadness is not related to a hormonal, or similar problem with your body. I have one friend like that- she went for years dealing with depression- but then a doctor found that it was in fact a chemical imbalance that could be easily treated with medication; she has been fine for years now.

 

[vikki78]

 

[Spunkn]

Good to see you back! I'm glad God is watching out for you. I will keep praying.

It's good you're watching videos about God and the Gospel, those will help you

Don't give up. I know you've been hurt. And you don't trust people. But God will never let you down. God will always be there.