Not understanding God..

[Vicissa]

Hey there everyone! I don't post in the marriage ministry section very often, but I wanted to on this subject as it involves my husband, and I'd like to get your responses as well.
I am trying really hard to figure out why God seems to either let bad things happen to us or causes them to happen to us, seemingly when we are about to turn a corner.
Two nights ago my husband got a call from someone from our church, a guy who leads a small group. And they talked for like a half hour. This in itself was great, because my husband has never really talked in depth to someone from our church (especially about God) or any church we went to...he's been one of those who just prefers to go to church, be invisible and not get involved.
Well this man invites him to the Men's small group, and my hubby accepts! And he actually wants to go. Well last night I have to run and get groceries, and on the way home something goes wrong with the tire on our car. So than, of course, my hubby cannot go to the group meeting.
My hubby was so upset, about not being able to go and our bad run of it in general that he was saying things like, "You know God, I would go to church a whole lot more if I had a car that would make it." And he said that apparently God doesn't want him to go to church or small group. And I can understand why he feels that way. The very first time he goes to get involved, something goes wrong. And he is unable.

I just don't understand why God allows or causes these type of things. It's so disheartening.

Anyway , please pray for my hubby. He worked on the car last night to make it road worthy but honestly, it's just falling apart and I'm afraid that he'll get hurt if something goes wrong. Especially while he's going over bridges that have a habit of letting people who're riding across it fall over the side and drown. Just please pray that this car holds up, pray for his safely, and please pray for a miracle.

 

[Redguard]

Situations like that really can seem confusing.

I'm glad you made this post because sometimes question like this come to my mind and it makes me feel ashamed to wonder or ask, "Why is God allowing this?". Deep down, you feel as though you should know better than to ask that, but sometimes you just can't help it.

I prayed twice yesterday. The first prayer, I thought, was a silly one since it involved me asking God to help me to locate my wife's exercise DVDs. A few minutes later, they were found.

Later on, I prayed again. I asked for guidance for a confrontation that I was about to have, and it completely blew up in my face.

???

 

[maxiii]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Congratulations, you have done the first thing by bringing the problem out into the light, where it can get healing.

I would keep bringing it out into the light. If I went to church with you and know of the problem, I would provide you and your husband with a working car. I know many Christians that would do the same thing.

Do you know any quality believers? Tell them what is goiing on and see the Lord go to work.

 

[Vicissa]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Congratulations, you have done the first thing by bringing the problem out into the light, where it can get healing.

I would keep bringing it out into the light. If I went to church with you and know of the problem, I would provide you and your husband with a working car. I know many Christians that would do the same thing.

Do you know any quality believers? Tell them what is goiing on and see the Lord go to work.

Thank you To answer your question, I really don't know IF I know any. I went to a church down here for a few months, before our car bugged out on us. After that it was too much of a risk to drive on the highway with our children. So I don't know that many here. And I'm relatively new to this whole area, I moved 1000 miles from my hometown 9 months ago.

 

[OceanFloor]

Pray for strength. Pray for perserverence. Pray for good things. Sometimes it's hard to not get caught up in the bad things that are going on around us. But, God is still there. He is the one that is keeping things as GREAT as they really are. He wants good things for you and for your husband. Perhaps the guy from church that called him can come pick him up next time. A lot of churches have outreaches to help get people to church and church activities. I pray that you can find people in your new area. That's got to be scarey and seem like a big hurdle. But, God will pull you through - he SO wants all of us to succeed. Keep the faith!

 

[Uphill Battle]

Hope a soon to be married can post here.

Have you considered the possibility of attack?

Satan is likely on to the Men's group thing. He'd be far more happy for your Hubby to be "invisible" and not get involved. The more a saint does for God, the more it kicks old scratch in the teeth.

You think he wouldn't turn cartwheels to make the car quit at the (in)opportune moment?

For instance, I lead our Church's childrens ministries. I have experienced more personal trials/stresses than when I wasn't.

Food for thought.

 

[Uphill Battle]

wow, did I kill the thread? lol

 

[daisyloca]

Well I have had similar questions regarding why does all the issues in our life keep coming up and seem to push us down when we get up. IT is not God letting it happen, but I was told that I let it happen, free will I guess.
God does not want us to hurt have anger or resentment, he wants us to go to church and be a part of that feelowship, but Satan and the flesh life gets up into trouble everytime.

Daily pray for forgivness and in thanksgiving, no matter what it should be the first and last thing you do every day. Pray unceasing, constantly, whenever and as much as possible, even if it is in thanks and sorry.
Pray for His will to be done and give everything to Him, your life and everything that you do.

If you do fear Satan is attacking, which is very possible. Call him out in the name of God, rebuke him and Call onto God to protect you and light your path, to guide you and wrap His arms around you and your family.

Also in time like that I read the Bible and reference back and forth finding answers to what may be allowing things to happen or allowing Satan too close, be it things we do, say or involve ourselves in. Anything that is not pleasing God should stop, anything that is against
bible guidlines should stop.

Just some ides to think about in whole or in part. They are some things that have worked for us. Life is not easy, it is not supposed to be, we shall build our treasure in Heaven not on Earth.

God Bless you, praying for you and your family!

Love, Jenn

 

[firestar]

Hey there everyone! I don't post in the marriage ministry section very often, but I wanted to on this subject as it involves my husband, and I'd like to get your responses as well.
I am trying really hard to figure out why God seems to either let bad things happen to us or causes them to happen to us, seemingly when we are about to turn a corner.
Two nights ago my husband got a call from someone from our church, a guy who leads a small group. And they talked for like a half hour. This in itself was great, because my husband has never really talked in depth to someone from our church (especially about God) or any church we went to...he's been one of those who just prefers to go to church, be invisible and not get involved.
Well this man invites him to the Men's small group, and my hubby accepts! And he actually wants to go. Well last night I have to run and get groceries, and on the way home something goes wrong with the tire on our car. So than, of course, my hubby cannot go to the group meeting.
My hubby was so upset, about not being able to go and our bad run of it in general that he was saying things like, "You know God, I would go to church a whole lot more if I had a car that would make it." And he said that apparently God doesn't want him to go to church or small group. And I can understand why he feels that way. The very first time he goes to get involved, something goes wrong. And he is unable.

I just don't understand why God allows or causes these type of things. It's so disheartening.

Anyway , please pray for my hubby. He worked on the car last night to make it road worthy but honestly, it's just falling apart and I'm afraid that he'll get hurt if something goes wrong. Especially while he's going over bridges that have a habit of letting people who're riding across it fall over the side and drown. Just please pray that this car holds up, pray for his safely, and please pray for a miracle.

As "not nice" as it feels at the time, it's often the most difficult moments where God is really working on us. I went through (am not even fully out of) a few years of extreme financial difficulty. We had no car either and I won't bore you with the details but life was very difficult all the way around. It seemed as though everything I'd pray for that I'd get the opposite. Kinda like "God make this situation work out good" and the situation would blow up in my face.

It caused me to pull back from God for a spell, and while I was pulling back, my spirit started to get harder. I stopped praying, stopped reading the Word and just developed a bad attitude. I couldn't absolutely let go of God though (or He wouldn't let go of me ) and after a while I started to seek Him afresh. This time, instead of asking Him to fix everything for me, I was asking for wisdom in seeing where my problem areas were, wisdom to see the direction I should be heading in, and for God to reveal His will for our lives.

I started to see that 99% of our money troubles were rooted in our own greed and sense of entitlement. A lot of our health issues were directly related to the heavy and unreasonable workload that *we* decided to take on and the stress resulting from it. That what I considered God "not answering" was God waiting for me to slow down and quiet down enough for me to be able to hear Him... kinda like a parent patiently waiting for their child's temper tantrum to be over. God had indeed been trying to get our attention, but through all the "churchyness" that had typified our ?Christianity up to that point, and the "busyness" if life that we had embroiled ourselves in, we had lost what was most fundamental- and that is a relationship with God. Once we started to work on that, the rest started to (slowly) fall in line. He allowed us to go through certain things because our actions had brought those circumstances on in the first place. I can tell you this... we learned our lessons but GOOD! There are things we'll never do again and I'm almost at the point where I can say I'm grateful for what we went through because it means we are where we are now.

So all of that to ask this:

Have you taken some time to honestly examine your circumstances whatever they might be and instead of looking at areas where you think God should have moved or answered prayer or "come through" for you- looked at what you should have/ could have done differently? That was huge for us!! And secondly and more importantly...

How is your relationship with God? Have you been spending time seeking Him out? reading the Word? I know for me, it seems as though I've spent most of my life asking God for stuff- big and small, and never really asking Him what He wants of me. Never willing to give unconditionally, but always ready to have my hand out asking for a blessing whether large or small... and sadly, *always* ready to put God on a backburner till I *feel* like spending time with Him. That's just twisted. If that was my husband- if he rarely had time for me, to spend talking to me, finding out how I feel about things, what pleases me... and then he'd only talk to me when he was asking for something... how would that make me feel?? What kind of marriage would that look like??

Ultimately God wants all of us, He wants us to put Him first to have our hearts set on Him. This is obedience. Obedience, I truly believe will be rewarded... and maybe not in the way that we are hoping for, but in the better sense in the way that God sees fit. Getting deep into the Word and getting serious about it has positively impacted every area of my life... from my professional life, other personal relationships- ones that have been rocky in the past, finances (and not in the get rich quick way- I mean sensible getting out of debt way) etcc....

I know this may or may not help, but I thought I'd share with you what is working for me.

 

[BigNorsk]

Let me tell you how a barrier once helped me.

I had met my wife to be at a church I had gone to before I got done with college and started working, I was visiting on a weekend back in the old town. Anyway, my wife to be and I had a great talk and I really kind of wanted to ask her out right then and there but I didn't. (Turned out to be a good thing, she told me that she wouldn't have liked that)

Anyway some time went by before I was going back to that town (it is 250 miles away) but it happened and I thought she had just seemed so nice it would be nice to call her and maybe go out and just have some fun. Well, I was afraid that she wouldn't even remember me and I'm no Shakespeare on the phone to start with. My asking someone out on the phone was kind of like "Hi, this is Marv and I was mumble mumble mumble. Anyway you get the picture, I'd get nervous and kind of bound up.

Anyway, I knew her name, so I got her phone number and starting a while before I was to be in town, I would call in the evening and it would ring and ring and never would she answer. No one, you couldn't tell that she ever came home or slept.

Well, if my computer can tell you one thing, it is that I have a streak of stubborness in me. And so it became kind of a challenge to try and get ahold of her and I started calling and calling at wider and wider hours. Finally, I got this recording that didn't sound at all like a woman's home.

Well I checked with directory assistance again, and got a different number this time and called and she answered right away. And I forgot all about being nervous or anything and we had a great talk again and we went out on our first date that week and the rest is history.

What had happened is that a local tech school had sent out flyers to all the potential students and they had misprinted her phone number on them, and they bought her phone number from her and I started calling right when this all happened, so the phone rang and rang at night in an office at the tech school until the rush was passed and they just put it on an answering machine.

I really don't thing that if that whole thing with the phone hadn't made me so determined to contact her that anything would have ever happened between us.

So, what I would say is that instead of giving up, this looks like a time to forge ahead and not take no for an answer. This coming week, you do whatever it takes to get your husband to that study. If the car breaks down, call a cab, or a friend, or the guys in the study and get a ride. Or arrange for the ride beforehand. Whatever, but don't not go even if he's delayed and only gets there at the end.

Some things really are worth fighting for.

Marv

 

[OnTheWay]

I would honestly say the biggest problem is simply the attitude displayed. God does not case flat tires, the nature of things to decay causes flat tires. The material world has that nature because of sin, so really the reason you're tire went flat is because people sin. Then instead of being greatful you have a car at all you're upset with God that you don't have a better one. To the kids in south east Asia that wake up at 4 AM to make your shoes the car you have is a luxury the likes of which they can barely imagine. You might try looking at suffering as a way to grow closer to God.

 

[PilgrimChild]

I have wondered this many times in the past (and sometimes still do when I'm struggling for long periods of time). My conclusion wavers, but I'm a firm and constant believer that whenever you try to do something right by God, the Devil will jump in and try to deter and obstruct you.

There's an unseen battle going on which the Devil knows he has lost, which only makes him try even harder. The Devil doesn't want you to go to church where you will learn about his arch-enemy - God!

So I figure these bad things that happen are a test of faith, especially when they happen when you've just made your mind up to go to church, or read your Bible, or whatever.

I don't know if that helps, but it's the way I tend to see things.

 

[Rhododendron]

Hope a soon to be married can post here.

Have you considered the possibility of attack?

Satan is likely on to the Men's group thing. He'd be far more happy for your Hubby to be "invisible" and not get involved. The more a saint does for God, the more it kicks old scratch in the teeth.

You think he wouldn't turn cartwheels to make the car quit at the (in)opportune moment?

For instance, I lead our Church's childrens ministries. I have experienced more personal trials/stresses than when I wasn't.

Food for thought.

I agree, I was going to post that it's an attack too. God also looks at these situations to test our hearts. Instead of blaming God, recognize that it's the devil. I know that's hard to do in bad situations, but that's exactly what Satan wants you to think. (that it's God's fault) Just try and think "oh well, it wasn't meant to happen tonight. If God wants it to happen, it will happen. God's timing is perfect."

Just keep praying. I'll pray for you too.

 

[Vicissa]

I would honestly say the biggest problem is simply the attitude displayed. God does not case flat tires, the nature of things to decay causes flat tires. The material world has that nature because of sin, so really the reason you're tire went flat is because people sin. Then instead of being greatful you have a car at all you're upset with God that you don't have a better one. To the kids in south east Asia that wake up at 4 AM to make your shoes the car you have is a luxury the likes of which they can barely imagine. You might try looking at suffering as a way to grow closer to God.

I would honestly say that your words seem more attacking then helpful. Sure, compared to kids in south east Asia, I live pretty high on the horse. But I'm not going to minimize how I feel or the situation I'm in. Maybe I should tell my kids when we have to get into a ride that's dangerous, "Hey kids, buck up. I know your scared to have to ride in this thing when it shakes like an unbalanced washer, but it could be worse. You could be making Nike's in Indonesia."

I'm sure glad that Jesus wasn't like that. "Hey lady, before you complain about bleeding, or dude, before you complain about being blind, try thinking of all those dead people in the cemetary over there."

Just a thought. When someone is having a hard time, GIVING BAD ATTITUDE to them is a sure fire way to NOT get them to change their own bad attitude.

 

[luckyykid]

Situations like that really can seem confusing.

I'm glad you made this post because sometimes question like this come to my mind and it makes me feel ashamed to wonder or ask, "Why is God allowing this?". Deep down, you feel as though you should know better than to ask that, but sometimes you just can't help it.

I prayed twice yesterday. The first prayer, I thought, was a silly one since it involved me asking God to help me to locate my wife's exercise DVDs. A few minutes later, they were found.

Later on, I prayed again. I asked for guidance for a confrontation that I was about to have, and it completely blew up in my face.

???

This is probably the biggest factor for me in struggles with faith. I know God exists, because there is so much evidence from the Bible and science today and whatnot, however, sometimes I really feel that prayer isn't really answered, that's it's just dumb luck that it goes one way or the other. Because you know everytime you pray for something, you have a 50-50 chance no matter what.

But I feel it's so important to know that prayer works, because God says in the bible that it does. And everything in the Bible has to be true or else everything else falls apart.

It's like these parents of the hikers lost on Mount Hood in Oregon...they went on the news and with full faith said "I know he's alive because we have faith in God." But, of course, no one survived. Those things wreak havoc on my faith...

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Well, it's obviously the enemy, not God. And look at it this way, when the enemy goes out of his way to prevent you from doing something, that means that he's threatened in someway. What you ought to do is pray for protection over your call, over the circumstances, the people and watch your own attitude, my hubby and I have had our worst fights on the way home from church. Although discouraging, this ought to be encouraging and make you want to persue it all the more. Don't give up. It'll build your faith. And study about spiritual warfare if you want to increase your knowledge on it. God Bless!

HB

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Situations like that really can seem confusing.

I'm glad you made this post because sometimes question like this come to my mind and it makes me feel ashamed to wonder or ask, "Why is God allowing this?". Deep down, you feel as though you should know better than to ask that, but sometimes you just can't help it.

I prayed twice yesterday. The first prayer, I thought, was a silly one since it involved me asking God to help me to locate my wife's exercise DVDs. A few minutes later, they were found.

Later on, I prayed again. I asked for guidance for a confrontation that I was about to have, and it completely blew up in my face.

???

I have several answers to the questions why....

Sometimes it's a lack of faith, sorry to say. Sometimes God will answer my prayers and other times he does not, and when he doesn't, though I've done the motions and THOUGHT I believed, truth is I really didn't. An example is the scripture about the men that tried to cast out demons and got beat up as a result.

Sometimes God allows it because there are all kinds of spiritual laws going into effect (when I think of this, I think about Frank Pereti's books, "this present darkness", and "piercing the darkness") and we have to persue harder and press through. Because the enemy does not give up easily. Just because you say a pray and have others pray over you and go through the motions doesn't mean the faith is there, or whatever circumstances are there.

Sometimes his answer is no, but you have to use your judgement. This I think involves the gift of "discerning the spirits" I think. Obviously going to church is his will, so I don't think this is the case, but one time I prayed fervantly for my toddler to sleep through the movie "the ring" and the result was that he screamed his head off the first ten minutes. Considering what we were praying about, I couldn't earnestly say that it was God's will in the first place for us to go see that movie, so my faith in that situation is that I either didn't apply enough faith and pray it through, or that it simply was not his will.... and i say this because horror movies and me do not mix well, especially with a spirit of fear lurking around and by whom I've been tormented by for years in the past.

But in all these situations (and I didn't list them all) as others have mentioned, it is a challenge of faith. I like Hebrews chapter 12, and james chapt. 1 when it comes to enduring challenges, such as challenges to our faith, and I'll just way this to sum it up "what does not defeat us only makes us stronger". I think that is sort of what heb. 12 is saying. There is a scripture on a card someone gave me once and it sticks out in my mind....

"all the lords ways are good and loving". Being someone has had numerous challenges to their own faith I'll say that being reminded of that has been comforting, it helps put things into perspective. God does not mean anything for our harm, and even when you can't understand his purpose, you can always rely on that. You don't have to know right now, you may not be able to know right now, but know that God knows and praise him for it like job when devestation hit. View all these challenges as a test of faith, not a test test "pass or fail" so that God can mark you off his list, but rather he's pruning you, seeing what your strengths and weakness are and what I have learned to do is get excited like james talks about, when I face these hardships, because I know I'm about to grow beyond where I am now. And that is a good thing. That means God loves me and he does indeed hear me.

To the op, have you prayed lately for God to increase your faith to help you grow in someway? Well, if so then here's your answer..... you've encountered something that will help you grow in that area.

I consider myself strong in faith.... sometimes... but there are times when I'm asking the same questions and even express frustration and anger towards God "why God, I just don't understand".

But here's another scripture....

"Seek, and you will find, knock, and the door will open, ask and it will be given". Don't simply give up... But do ask questions, do SEEK the truth and you WILL find the answers and grow from these experiances.

God Bless,

HB