For years I suppressed all my emotions and feelings now I'm working through things and my emotions are all over the place and I find it hard to totally trust and rely on God. My dad left us when I was about 8 we where poor so my mum prostituted herself to get money. I was sexually abused by one of her "friends" and later by my friends uncle. Lots of my childhood memories are missing but I know I came to know the Lord when I was about 12 and I kept all this stuff deep down. My mother later remarried and I found it hard having a man there I suppose I didn't feel safe I moved into my pastors house and helped his wife look after there children but then my pastor started to sexually abuse me I was devastated but afraid of hurting his family cause they were now my family so I said nothing but he raped me when I was seventeen I felt he had ruined my salvation I had been made clean and pure then he ruined it I'm sorry I can't say anymore
