For years I suppressed all my emotions and feelings now I'm working through things and my emotions are all over the place and I find it hard to totally trust and rely on God. My dad left us when I was about 8 we where poor so my mum prostituted herself to get money. I was sexually abused by one of her "friends" and later by my friends uncle. Lots of my childhood memories are missing but I know I came to know the Lord when I was about 12 and I kept all this stuff deep down. My mother later remarried and I found it hard having a man there I suppose I didn't feel safe I moved into my pastors house and helped his wife look after there children but then my pastor started to sexually abuse me I was devastated but afraid of hurting his family cause they were now my family so I said nothing but he raped me when I was seventeen I felt he had ruined my salvation I had been made clean and pure then he ruined it I'm sorry I can't say anymore
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Not sure how I feel
- Thread starter FIC/forever
- Start date
Oh sweetie, I am so sorry that happened to you. 
He didn't ruin your salvation, sweetie, Jesus won't let you go. He loves you unconditionally and for ever.
And you are still clean and pure in His eyes. You were a victim, sweetie. It's very common for victims to blame ourselves, to think it was somehow our fault. But it wasn't... you were betrayed in the worst way by someone who was in a position of trust.
Do you have anyone you can talk to about this, sweetie? It is very hard, I know, but you do need support and help to deal with your emotions, and to start to come to terms with what happened, and let God heal the hurt.
I am praying for you, sweetie, and if you need someone to listen, let me know, k?
He didn't ruin your salvation, sweetie, Jesus won't let you go. He loves you unconditionally and for ever.
And you are still clean and pure in His eyes. You were a victim, sweetie. It's very common for victims to blame ourselves, to think it was somehow our fault. But it wasn't... you were betrayed in the worst way by someone who was in a position of trust.
Do you have anyone you can talk to about this, sweetie? It is very hard, I know, but you do need support and help to deal with your emotions, and to start to come to terms with what happened, and let God heal the hurt.
I am praying for you, sweetie, and if you need someone to listen, let me know, k?
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Thank you so much and yes I have been getting help. I have been using Freedom in Christ material. I know I need to focus on God but I am finding it all so difficult. Sometimes I find it hard to feel God there. I want to talk to Him but find Him so distant. I feel so lost. I'm tired with it all I just want to forget it all but I can't everyday It's there to haunt me.
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- Aug 3, 2004
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Your hidden feelings will become more dominant for a while as you go through those horrible events. They can be quite overwhelming. But a godo cousnellor will understand and provide some support. They won't last forever, so just accept that you are on a journey and it will take awhile to get there.
Bles syou
John
NZ
Bles syou
John
NZ
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