Not strong enough

prov1810 · Jul 21, 2013

knw1991 said:
There's no reason to live if I have to stay this way

You won't stay this way. That's a guarantee.

And as for how you feel now, the important thing is to be gentle with yourself. The hurt inside you needs to be accepted by you. Can you let go of the desire to control this feeling? Please ask yourself this.

NatethaGreat · Jul 21, 2013

knw1991 said:
I can't keep my mind focused on my reality. When I do I think about how I'm single, alone, hurt, depressed. I met up with one of my friends from an internship today whO came down
To visit from Nebraska. She's doing a research internship and we discussed medical school
And if I was still interested in applying. I explained to her that I lost my motivation to study for the MCAT a test that must be taken before applying to medical school. The depression took away my ability to focus. I don't even know what I want to do with my life anymore. I thought about being a counselor but I may not get well to help others and I met get emotionally involved with clients. My mind feels damaged. Instead of praying I run away and ignore reality because the pain is just too much. I never thought my life would turn into a mental torture chamber. I thought that having a stepfather would be my second chance at having a father but it wasn't, I'm not close to him after 11 years in the same house. I resent him for it and seems like the only time he talks to me is if he wants help with Doung something or if he says something about me not going to church.
I hate the biological father. My heart has been broken by someone I thought I could trust. My walk with God never took off because I doubted my salvation which sent me into a depression. Sometimes I just want to throw everything away , to disappear. Every moment is pain. Seeing couples happy, seeing children with their fathers, hearing people talk about God, hearing about pain and death. I just can't take anymore. In all h

Please go to a psychotherapist. Seriously, i suffered for 4 years because i was a kid and didn't know what was going on. My parents didn't know how to help. I went to a psychotherapist after 4 years of pointless suffering. After 1 visit, it turns out i was obsessed over not letting something go that bothered me. I know you don't feel like you have the strength, but would you do anything to make your depression go away? There is no miracle medication for depression that just makes it go away. Praying alone is not going to make it go away either. "toughing it out" doesn't work either. You need to take action. Facing the reality of your situation and letting those things go. Why? Because you don't want to be depressed anymore, you want to go on the path of healing. After your depression is gone, everything will come together in your life, things will make sense again.

Jeshu · Jul 21, 2013

One of the greatest realisations I had with depression is that heeding depression is going the wrong way!

The truth is that;

To doubt God's loving truth is lethal and brings a lot of emotional pain.:o
To look around at those who are 'better off' brings deepest misery.:o
To blame God for our emotional pain blocks the path of healing.:o
To believe that death will cease our suffering is the ultimate lie of depression.:o
To cultivate anger will bring more depression around.:o

Faith in God's love breaks away from depression.
Hope in God's good builds a new heart and mind.
Trust in God brings strength and ability to suffer.

Be blessed letting go of your depression and finding newness in life with Him and through Him.

When The hour of darkness reigns.

“Where is your God”, they sneer.
Casting their nets of doubt and fear.
Isolation is their jail of presence within.
Happily trading your weakness and your sin.
Oh how they enjoy your every fall or slip.
As your fallen reality is their strongest grip.
Building in your heart their own life form.
So darkness in being is your daily norm.

Now see them fight to retain their place.
Trying to keep away God’s loving grace.
By showing you their godless hold inside.
You in their slimly pits to smite.
Influenced by their dark and godless thrash.
Your light of day took quite a crash.
But remember wicked rule is a very short reign.
For you Christ’s light will surely shine again.

SMacGregor · Jul 22, 2013

Many weaknesses inherent in the scientific arguments supporting the widely accepted theory that biochemical imbalances are the main cause of mental illness.

Eventually it is important to Let go and let God so that we can move on with life.

knw1991 · Jul 22, 2013

I don't want the ability to suffer, I want the suffering to stop its not fair
I can't even function in school

Criada · Jul 22, 2013

Life isn't fair. Jesus suffered for our sins - and that was certainly not fair.
People make bad choices and bad things happen.
BUT - in all of it, God is still there. However much you may doubt him, he will never, ever doubt you - and he WILL get you through this.

I'm sorry it feels so bad and all the answers sound like cliches - but the answer is still love - an infinite unchanging limitless love which surrounds you even in the darkest hour

knw1991 · Jul 22, 2013

Criada said:
Life isn't fair. Jesus suffered for our sins - and that was certainly not fair.
People make bad choices and bad things happen.
BUT - in all of it, God is still there. However much you may doubt him, he will never, ever doubt you - and he WILL get you through this.

I'm sorry it feels so bad and all the answers sound like cliches - but the answer is still love - an infinite unchanging limitless love which surrounds you even in the darkest hour

thank you, my chest feels heavy,it feels physically bruised. when am i going to get out of this?? it feels like mental, emotional, and physical torture. it seems like God isnt listening, i have been praying all day. but the weight is still heavy on my chest, i feel like ive been stabbed in the heart, it hurts i can feel it in chest

knw1991 · Jul 22, 2013

does God hear me?

emilie mayer · Jul 22, 2013

Yes He does.

knw1991 · Jul 26, 2013

the people who have hurt me have moved on, like its nothing. im still in pain. i feel so empty knowing that all i can do is just pray and read the bible, but it wont take away the pain. my life is so empty. i hate school and i dont care about graduating on august 6th, things wont change anyway, ill still be depressed, ugly, and unwanted

prov1810 · Jul 26, 2013

knw1991 said:
the people who have hurt me have moved on, like its nothing. im still in pain. i feel so empty knowing that all i can do is just pray and read the bible, but it wont take away the pain. my life is so empty. i hate school and i dont care about graduating on august 6th, things wont change anyway, ill still be depressed, ugly, and unwanted

Please pray for anyone who has hurt you. Let me tell you something for certain: if you pray for God to bless them, and if you are happy at the thought that they are happy, you will be free. We have love in this world when we think loving thoughts. When we wish from our hearts that others will be happy, we are happy.

I used to be so lonely and prayer turned my life around. People began to relate to me in a very positive way.

Gracelands · Jul 26, 2013

Don't give in sweetheart. You have supernatural strength in Christ of course you are strong enough. More than enough. 'You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you'. He will give you exactly what you need to face any battle and overcome. Sometimes though we are called to endure through dark times Its especially frustrating when we cant see the victory or the fruit of our labouring. But we have a reward in heaven.

I've been thinking of this verse quite vividly as i was reading some of your posts:

'Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.' Matthew 11.29

Its one of my favourite scriptures to chew over when i'm going through it.

Perfect peace to you. Stay strong.

knw1991 · Jul 26, 2013

why should i be happy for them they didnt care when they hurt me

knw1991 · Jul 26, 2013

Gracelands said:
Don't give in sweetheart. You have supernatural strength in Christ of course you are strong enough. More than enough. 'You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you'. He will give you exactly what you need to face any battle and overcome. Sometimes though we are called to endure through dark times Its especially frustrating when we cant see the victory or the fruit of our labouring. But we have a reward in heaven.

I've been thinking of this verse quite vividly as i was reading some of your posts:

'Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.' Matthew 11.29

Its one of my favourite scriptures to chew over when i'm going through it.

Perfect peace to you. Stay strong.

thank you

prov1810 · Jul 26, 2013

knw1991 said:
why should i be happy for them they didnt care when they hurt me

Your anger hurts you. Your kindness blesses you.

knw1991 · Jul 26, 2013

prov1810 said:
Your anger hurts you. Your kindness blesses you.

but doesnt God understand that im hurt? that its not fair when i have done nothing but be nice to those who hurt me? my own father hasnt been there for me, i'll never get my entire childhood back to have a father

prov1810 · Jul 26, 2013

knw1991 said:
but doesnt God understand that im hurt? that its not fair when i have done nothing but be nice to those who hurt me? my own father hasnt been there for me, i'll never get my entire childhood back to have a father

Yes, God understands and He sees you with love. But He gave us minds and we have to take responsibility for what we experience. If there is a chemical imbalance, then you can't just wish it away. But if any of your sadness is triggered by your thoughts, your sadness can be reversed by love.

I was beaten when I was a child and one of my front teeth is a fake. I used to have hard time going to sleep because of the memories. But forgiveness made all the difference. I now see my father as a lovable person, because love changed the way I see him. I gave the scary memories my love because it's just a part of my mind that wanted to protect me. And now it's a lot easier to sleep.

knw1991 · Jul 26, 2013

I just feel like God is on the side of those who hurt me. I don't have the strength to forgive I feel depressed and trapped in pain. I don't want to
Wait until heaven to be happy. There is no guarantee I'll
Even go to heaven. I don't want to live in pain for the rest of my life, I just want a full life with a family of my own one day but God won't bring anyone into my life If I'm
Depressed, it will just hurt the other person

emilie mayer · Jul 26, 2013

Knw1991 there has got be be a different way of thinking for you. You have fallen for the enemies lies. The enemy has lied to you and has knocked you down and will keep you there as long as you give him permission to do so. God wants you to be strong. Even if you have to force yourself to be more positive. Right now no one can give you advice because your so set on negative. God wants you to live happy and trust Him. Stand up dust off and press forward. No matter how you feel. Ive been there and its hard. Eventually you will have enough of the enemy that you will have no way but up to go.God is with you and knows what your going through. Make Him proud by being a soldier.

emilie mayer · Jul 26, 2013

By the way I felt led to tell you that

Not strong enough

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