not strong enough

[FoundInGrace]

how do you keep loving people
how do you keep forgiving
i'm not strong enough to keep doing it anymore
and i know it's God's strength not my own but i'm hurt by a person at church who used to be a friend but because she treated me badly i confronted her and now they are being so vindictive about it which i knew would happen when i confronted her but not this much.
does God expect me to keep forgiving because at this point in time i dont' know what to do. i want to leave church but i can't. but i also can't deal with this anymore its been months and months of pain from this woman what do i do?

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

I think that the bible says to go to her yourself and if you can agree then you have restored fellowship with her. If that doesn't work then go to her with a witness as to the pain your having and see if that works things out. Then as a last resort take it to the elders for them to solve the conflict. At least that's what I see the bible saying. Praying for your situation.

 

[arielette]

I know how badly not being able to forgive someone hurts. Yet Jesus did not mean for us to enable bad behavior:

Matthew 18

15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

I hope your situation has a happy ending.

 

[kingdomseek4]

..may He work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to who be glory for ever and ever. Amen.Heb 13:21 Here is the verse you have with your posts.
Your love for someone cannot be based upon them treating you like you should to be treated. Christ loved us while we were dead in our trespasses and sins. If you think you can't forgive this person anymore, then ask the Lord to work in you to will and to do for His good pleasure[Phil 2:13]. You cannot stop loving someone because they treat you wrong. Love suffers long, love is patient. And while it is being patient, it is also kind[1Cor 13]. If you quit loving someone because they treat you wrong, then your love is based upon what they can do for you and not what you can do for them. God so loved us that He gave. He gave His very best. When someone despitefully uses you, what are you suppose to do? Pray for them. When someone curses you, what are you suppose to do? Bless them. If they are talking about you then find someway to bless them. You will not be held accountable for the way they treat you, but you will be held accountable the way you treat them. May the Lord continue to strengthen you according to your spirit man and give you grace to stand and be long suffering. God bless you saint of the Most High God.

 

[Bramage]

Join another church.

The nashing of teeth, outside the door of the kingdom of heaven. For in the kingdom of heaven with Jesus, such things are foolish.

As Jesus says, "Why concern yourselves of the matter at all, of those who scorn you, when they do not know your heart, nor do they desire to know your heart which is full of love and compassion."

Be as it may, that you were once friends, it is vital that we look toward Jesus, and not be distracted by the world. Cast the cup of bitterness from you, that they offer you to drink from, and drink from the cup which is sweet, which Jesus has measured out for you.

If they are not able to overcome their own bitterness, and treat you appropriately, then I would leave and go to another church, or participate here more, as there are many wonderful christians here, who love Jesus with their whole heart.

I attend here more than I do the church, because the devotion is greater with many who are here.

So maybe the answer is already before you, and you are hesitating to make a proper decision, which will bring peace to your life, from Jesus.

Jesus is here. The Holy Spirit is here.

Personally I would never tolerate any inappropriate behaviour from anyone. There are wonderful people out there else where, and is always the case when ever we turn a new corner in our life. Do not hesitate to cast the cup of bitterness out of your life, for the poison is not of God.

The light of truth reveals all things hidden in the kingdom of heaven, so that we may see clearly that which is of God, and that which is not of God. Unfortunate for those who work at things not of God, as they are foolish in doing so, and foolish are we who continue with those that do.

Become passersby of such, lest you also fall away from God.

You have a relationship with Jesus first, and must become full of love and compassion, so that you are able to better deal with those who are yet lost, and enslaved by heavey bitterness.

It is that which comes out of our mouth, that is able to defile us.

Also, if you are no longer at the church, then they too will not feel the bitterness they chose to participate in.

You can always go back later, when everyone has outgrown the foolishness...as we hope and pray they do.

Pray to God for the answer, and He will show you.

Jesus loves you!

 

[kisstheson]

foundinHisGrace,

I can relate to you. This has happened to be as well and not just one time. There is something that you have to be careful of, and that is you don't let a root of bitterness come into your heart. The Word says bitterness can defile many.

I have seriously followed Jesus for 36 years and like I said I have been hurt by my own brothers and sisters. There were many times I left the church crying, times when I felt I was on the outside looking in, times I felt very lonely but I kept going to Jesus and giving Him my pain and sorrow, uniting my suffering to His. Praise to His grace He helped me to do this. The thing is, disappointments and trials can make us either bitter or better. Try to remember all that Jesus suffered at the hands of His enemies yet He still chose to forgive.

It's important that you speak the truth IN LOVE to your friend. Be honest but be willing to see if there is anything you may have done wrong on your part. Jesus does not wish that there be a division between you. I would pray for for her. If she is still unwilling well, the word says..."as far as it is possible be at peace with all men." And if you do leave your church don't leave in the spirit of bitterness and gossip because down the road you are bound to encounter others who will hurt and offend you.

This is part of life. There will always be people that will hurt us in one way or another but the aim of being followers of Christ is that we become more and more like Him every day.

I know you are hurting right now. I pray the Lord pours His healing balm into your wounds and that things work out between you and your friend. Perhaps through understanding and open communication this may even be a steppig stone to a deeper friendship.
If she is truly your friend she will come around if not forgive her through the heart of Jesus' love and move on. He will help you.

 

[Theophorus]

Pray for her. It would benefit both of you.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

When trying to see this and similar situations in light of how God would see it, I would have to say that He, as the father, sees it as a family that should get along with each other. The church should be providing a healthy atmosphere for all to live in harmony. The bible provides the guidelines but it's up to us to follow them.
Disharmony should be settled by the members between themselves so the the vital thing, love between them, is restored. Nothing hurts more than the wounds of a friend. And it is so easy to get bitter. But God wants fellowship. Not one grovelling with another one having power over them to hurt. But both parties admitting their wrongs so a balance is met. The leaders are ultimately, as parents are, to see that this is reached. As the ultimate parent God's rules are for the benifit of all and that balance needs to be met for harmony to be re-established. Not one having rule of another but as serving each other. If only our church families were not so disfunctional.... Father guide and help us in this for Your names sake...Amen

 

[blankgirl]

Hi. just wanna share my experience. for me i was the person who hurt someone else and she wasnt able to forgive me as well. one day we were at christian fellowship in an intense prayer session and God spoke thru the cf leader, and the cf leader who din even noe of our relationship prob brought up the issue that there were 2 ppl not reconciled in the room and that God wanted us to be reconciled.

 

[abigale]

Hi. just wanna share my experience. for me i was the person who hurt someone else and she wasnt able to forgive me as well. one day we were at christian fellowship in an intense prayer session and God spoke thru the cf leader, and the cf leader who din even noe of our relationship prob brought up the issue that there were 2 ppl not reconciled in the room and that God wanted us to be reconciled.

Thank you for sharing that. I think we've all been there one time or another. Both the person hurting and the one unforgiving need to have God's peace.

 

[FoundInGrace]

sorry it's taken a while to reply back to this thread, thank you so much everyone for the things you have shared and everything you've said. It's still being worked through and I was very low about it but you've encouraged me here and given me some pointers about keeping going and to pray for her and bless her and respond like God said to, God willing I'll be able to do that and keep forgiving so what God wants out of this situation will come out of it. I still feel very weak to do this but it has helped what has been posted here thank you for encouraging me in the midst of all of this God bless you guys very much