Not feeling pretty

[PorcelainHeart]

I don't really feel pretty, I feel so bad about my looks I get very jealous of girls much more beautiful then me. I cry and get depressed everytime I see a pretty girl and wish I looked like them, even on here I get upset about how some girls are just much more beautiful then me. I want to look like them so bad, it really hurts deep down that I'm not pretty enough for people. I don't know if this is the right forum for this, but I feel I'm not beautiful enough for anyone even my soulmate GOD has ready for me. Sorry for all the typos but I was really upset when I wrote this.

 

[NorwayUnn]

Dear Marmaladegirl, if I could only bring you some words of comfort.


I really wish for you to see who you are in Christ, what a great and eternal value you have in Him and what wonderful plans He has for your life. You are created in God's own image, just think how awesome that is! When He thought of creating you, He knew exactly how He wanted you to look like, what He wanted to give you of gifts and talents etc. You are created by His design! What a great and genius Creator we have! He cares so deeply about you, sis. Do you think that shallow beauty has any eternal value? What do you think will happen to those who are ''super beautiful'' like models, and know it and live for it and the glamour it gives them, when they grow older, get wrinkles, grey hair, baggy eyes, are sagging here and there ... what then, how will they feel about themselves, when all they had that gave them attention, fame and glamour, just slip out of their hands little by little??? Or maybe even over night, as so much can happen of accidents etc. Life is so fragile! Isn't life more than looking good? Isn't life worth living if a person doesn't have a very attractive appearance? I can tell you that life is worth living. You can be a great friend to others, no matter how you look like. True friends value you for who you are, just as you are. May you experience Jesus' love for you overflowing in your heart. May He embrace you and tell you how beautiful you are to Him. And I can tell you, the more time you spend with Jesus, the more you will see of His beauty too. He is right there for you, sweet sis.
Many hugs from me to you today sis . I am just an average looking woman and have nothing to brag about. But I love Jesus, and I know that He loves me just as I am. He is the most wonderful there is. I wish you all the best and God's abundant blessings in your life. You are precious to Jesus.

 

[PorcelainHeart]

Dear Marmaladegirl, if I could only bring you some words of comfort.


I really wish for you to see who you are in Christ, what a great and eternal value you have in Him and what wonderful plans He has for your life. You are created in God's own image, just think how awesome that is! When He thought of creating you, He knew exactly how He wanted you to look like, what He wanted to give you of gifts and talents etc. You are created by His design! What a great and genius Creator we have! He cares so deeply about you, sis. Do you think that shallow beauty has any eternal value? What do you think will happen to those who are ''super beautiful'' like models, and know it and live for it and the glamour it gives them, when they grow older, get wrinkles, grey hair, baggy eyes, are sagging here and there ... what then, how will they feel about themselves, when all they had that gave them attention, fame and glamour, just slip out of their hands little by little??? Or maybe even over night, as so much can happen of accidents etc. Life is so fragile! Isn't life more than looking good? Isn't life worth living if a person doesn't have a very attractive appearance? I can tell you that life is worth living. You can be a great friend to others, no matter how you look like. True friends value you for who you are, just as you are. May you experience Jesus' love for you overflowing in your heart. May He embrace you and tell you how beautiful you are to Him. And I can tell you, the more time you spend with Jesus, the more you will see of His beauty too. He is right there for you, sweet sis.
Many hugs from me to you today sis . I am just an average looking woman and have nothing to brag about. But I love Jesus, and I know that He loves me just as I am. He is the most wonderful there is. I wish you all the best and God's abundant blessings in your life. You are precious to Jesus.

Thank you for your kind words, they really touch me. It's just so hard being young in today society where everything is about beauty. But i know deep down GOD made me the way I am for a reason, I need to accept that he loves me for me. Life is more then looking good and having guys. Thank you for your kind words, god bless you. That made me feel better.

 

[Evie]

I just wanted to add that you are a princess to Christ. He don't care what you look like. God made each of us different than the next girl. Like snowflakes that falls from the heavens,each one is designed different than the other. You were created by God just the way he wanted you to look. You are beautiful!!!

I don't really feel pretty, I feel so bad about my looks I get very jealous of girls much more beautiful then me. I cry and get depressed everytime I see a pretty girl and wish I looked like them, even on here I get upset about how some girls are just much more beautiful then me. I want to look like them so bad, it really hurts deep down that I'm not pretty enough for people. I don't know if this is the right forum for this, but I feel I'm not beautiful enough for anyone even my soulmate GOD has ready for me. Sorry for all the typos but I was really upset when I wrote this.

 

[PorcelainHeart]

Yah, I think I need to give more to GOD and less to myself. My problem is always trusting GOD, I seem to have a huge trust issue with everything.


God bless you.

 

[pdudgeon]

If trusting God is a problem then i may have a solution for you.
I don't think it's really a trust issue but a remembering issue.
what i would recommend is to start a "blessings" journal. that's where you write down all the times that God has answered your prayers, and really come thru in a crunch. this is important because when we look at our circumstances we tend to forget all the previous times that God did work on our behalf.

I tried this and was really amazed when I could see what He had done. You could start your journal by copying your post and the answers from Evie and Unn. eventually you will have a long list of how God has worked for you, bringing you answers to problems. then when you come up against a problem or a feeling that gets you down you can turn to your journal and remember how good God has been to you and that He does care about you.

My pastor does this. he has a whole file of e-mails and letters that he has kept to remind himself that God is using him. Even pastors need reassurance, so you are not alone.

 

[kisstheson]

May you experience Jesus' love for you overflowing in your heart. May He embrace you and tell you how beautiful you are to Him. And I can tell you, the more time you spend with Jesus, the more you will see of His beauty too. He is right there for you, sweet sis.
You are precious to Jesus.

Take it from a sister that really IS Not attractive, can't have children, etc. etc. etc. Just so you know I'm not speaking as a person who hasn't experienced what you have experienced especially in my younger years. This quote from NorwayUnn is honestly the answer coupled with the post about gratitude.

I always admire people who suffer prolonged illnesses such as cancer, or burn victims, people with terrible deformities and still have a positive attitude. I know a man who was born with a drooping, terribly deformed face. He could have had an operation but his parents wouldn't allow it because they were Jehovah's Witnesses and they don't believe in blood transfusions. He is a policeman and is friendly to everyone although people have ridiculed him and given him that "how disqusting" look. I also see a woman who works for the state. Her body is literally covered with moles. But there she is right out in the public view treating everyone with respect. These people seem like the deformity they suffer has not made them bitter but better. I can't begin to even imagine the countless tears they have cried alone in their beds at night.

You have a chance to take the hurts you have experinced and unite them to what Jesus suffered throughout His life and upon the cross. Give your pain as a love gift to Jesus. Thank Him for all that He has blessed you with. You will see that your ability to breath, the fact that you have two hands to type your posts, they you woke up this morning, that your have a roof over your head, that there are not bombs falling around you ~ these are all love gifts form Him. And even the fact that you are not stunningly beautiful helps you to have compassion on those of us who are not.

See Jesus just isn't like those self centered, selfish guys who will recieve all those praises and love gifts from you and not give back even more. Allow Him TIME to love you. Try to be with Him alone more often. Play your favorite worship cd, close your eyes and think about the many ways He expresses His love for you. Listen for His voice with in your heart. Yes and always read the Bible, especially the gospels. The more you "look" at Him the more accepted you feel. His inner voice will tell you that you are beautiful to Him.

​

​

"My Dove, hiding in the clefts​

of the rock, in the coverts​

of the cliff, show Me your fcae,​

Let Me hear your voice;​

For you voice is sweet,​

and your face is beautiful."​

(Song of Solonon 2:14)​

​

This is how Jesus sees you! ​

 

[HoosierCanuck]

I too can relate. I wasn't pretty at your age and I look even worse now (overweight, thinned hair, etc...). The key is not comparing yourself to others. Unless you're a twin, you are unlike anyone else in the world. I see people old enough to be my parents and think "i wish I looked that good now, let alone when I'm their age" and sometimes it hurts. I feel I am unloved in the human sense because of the way I look. However, the post-ers here that talk about God's love for us know what they are talking about. It's hard because His love isn't 'tangible' like a hug from a friend or family member but it exists and once you let Him into your heart, it can be a beautiful thing. I know about trust and having trouble with it too. I'm still struggling with the same issue. I've had moments where I felt okay with things and those are the times i hold onto. The media is an evil giant bent on using whatever means possible to 'sell' something. They've made us women feel like we are garbage. Well....it's just not true! Our hearts are what make us truly beautiful. That special man who will come along at some point in your life will see that. No need to hurry though....22 is still plenty young.

 

[PorcelainHeart]

The media is a huge reason girls look so down on themselves. We are told from the media if we aren't hot we aren't anything. It really hurts me that the media thinks like this. I'm not overweight or anything I'm just very pale and plain, I feel like I look like a ghost.

 

[kisstheson]

It's hard because His love isn't 'tangible' like a hug from a friend or family member

This "ugly" woman (in the wordly sense) says: Jesus is much more tangible than we realize. It is we that hold Him at arms length. He didn't suffer the horrible pains of the cross just so we could die and be with Him in Heaven. I am sure you already know this but I feel He longs to fulfill every area of our life. For one reason or another we (I) don't include Him in everything. That's where He is leading us all, married or single, ugly ir beautiful. More of Jesus is the cure but only through His grace can we be led us to this place of a deeper fellowship wit Him. He continues to pursue us and is sad for all of our struggling to love and trust Him. I have had difficulties too in coming to the final surrender of His embrace! Each day is a new challenge but I trust His grace will help me to continue to find Him right where I am.

As HoosierCanuck pointed out, you are only 22. What a blessing at such a young age to offer praise and thanksgiving to Jesus and say, "My Jesus, I love you and trust you." Wouldn't that bring a huge smile to His face?

 

[Evie]

also I wanted to mention too, that no matter what, you should not compare yourself to others. Something really aweful that happened to me a few years back,made me realize when reading your post that I too need to becareful here myself. I don't compare myself too others just somedays feel fat and ugly. But then I hear that still small voice saying "but I love you Evie just the way I designed you" We have to remember that,when we go through hurts,believe me I know,it's truly hard to overcome. I do agree that you need to journal,I have been for awhile now,it does help.
Praying!!!

 

[PorcelainHeart]

Thanks for the advice, I will try it, just sometimes it's hard for me to write because of my learning disability. It is very hard to overcome alot of things about myself. I deal with being disabled and being Bi-polor sometimes I think their is nothing worth living. I've seen a shrink and she said I wasn't pretty, that really torn me down. I do think I can over come my low self esteem and see the light. God bless you all.

 

[ImHisServant]

Esther 2:15 "Now when the turn came for Esther the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai, who had taken her as his daughter, to go in to the king, she requested nothing but what Hegai the king's eunuch, the custodian of the women, advised. And Esther obtained favor in the sight of all who saw her."

Inner Beauty
American culture puts a lot of emphasis on outer beauty. Each year, Americans collectively buy per minute 1,484 tubes of lipstick (at a cost of $4,566); 913 bottles of nail polish ($2,055); 1,324 mascaras, eyeshadows, and eyeliners ($6,849); and 2,055 jars of skin care products ($12,785). Marketing beauty products to both men and women represents an almost $17 billion-per-year business in the U.S.
This is far different from the example of Esther. Despite the fact that her future seemed to depend on making a favorable impression on the king, she did no more than what was necessary to appear appropriate. Without the distraction of the glitz and glamour of outer beauty aids, her inner beauty could be clearly seen. And it was this inner beauty that enabled Esther to obtain "favor in the sight of all who saw her," including the king, who eventually made her queen.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to appear attractive, but it should never be our primary concern. Developing inner beauty is far more important. The writer of Proverbs says, "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies" (31:10). And the apostle Peter says, "Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel; rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:3-4).

If you want real beauty, spend as much time before the mirror of God's Word as you do before the mirror in your bathroom. Let God develop an inner beauty in you that will both outshine and outlast the glamour of the world.



Beauty without virtue is like a flower without fragrance.

 

[PorcelainHeart]

Thank you, I'm sorry but I will keep this post short, because I'm getting tired. I think alot of my problems are not focusing on GOD and caring what guys think. I kinda of been falling behind on my christian faith. I pray GOD helps me learn to see inner beauty and his love.


Your words are very nice Imhisservent. God bless you.

 

[kisstheson]

Thanks for the advice, I will try it, just sometimes it's hard for me to write because of my learning disability. It is very hard to overcome alot of things about myself. I deal with being disabled and being Bi-polor sometimes I think their is nothing worth living. I've seen a shrink and she said I wasn't pretty, that really torn me down. I do think I can over come my low self esteem and see the light. God bless you all.

Dear Marmaladegirl22

I appreciate your open heart that you are able to share such personal things. Although this is a forum and we are miles apart I reach out and give you a big hug. Your quote: all the more reason why Jesus loves you! I will pray for you!

Great big hug for Marmaladegirl!!!!

 

[NorwayUnn]

Yeah, great biiig hug for Marmaladegirl!!!!!





www.dayspring.com

 

[PorcelainHeart]

Thanks for the kind words, and help. God bless you all!! Very cute picture norway.

 

[lonnienord]

Marmaladegirl22 i have a suggestion for you. Change your avatar to a picture of JESUS!! Focus on JESUS. HE created you; HE loves you just as you are!!

 

[PorcelainHeart]

Is my avatar offensive??? My avatars have special meaning to me.

 

[lonnienord]

No your avatar is not offensive to me; i was just wondering if you were cometing with the person in the avatar in a beauty contest. i am sorry my suggestion upset you. i was mearly trying to say that if you put JESUS as the center of your life you would be happier.