not enough willpower blues

[Jesus4Life777]

I have way too much trouble dieting, quitting smoking, exercising, looking for a job.. I'm hindered by the need to relax. I think I spend too much time relieving stress when I should be doing something more productive.

I also take medication for mental disability - mainly depression/anxiety.

Yesterday I backed out of a driveway and hit another car. I called the police and neither of us got tickets (one ticket would have been for him parking opposite a driveway and one for me not paying good enough attention while backing out the driveway). I feel really stupid for what I did. I kick myself with guilt all the time. I bet my insurance goes up and I don't even pay for my car insurance - my parents do. They also pay for my food and shelter because I don't have a job.

So basically I should keep on trying to diet, to quit smoking, to exercise, to look for a job in order to feel better about myself. I've been telling myself this for a year now and I still don't get enough done (because I get so stressed out and need to veg out in order to relax) and thus I feel guilty all the time.

Advice? (But I'm not looking for general tips on how to quit smoking or ease into an exercise routine or ways to work on this stuff I want to accomplish because my psychiatrist and family give me plenty of advice on these things. Also I don't believe in a traditional god that can lift me up (leaving only one pair of footprints) and solve all my struggles - because as far as I can tell, no god has interacted with human activity since who knows when.)

So what kind of advice am I looking for? Some sort of big picture assurance I suppose. That I'm not just making one mistake after another. I don't know what kind of help I'm looking for.

 

[BlessEwe]

I have dealt with the same things as you, and have learned some tools that are working for me.

Actually I have found it really isn't willpower, but changing the way I think and finding the tools to help me change the way I think.


First off dealing with the guilt and stress.
I have learned some great tools in AA which I feel can be used in all aspects of struggles to let go of things and leave them there. It is not just for people who are addicted, but really are Life Learning Tools. Below I will give you some links to look at.

And since you are seeing a medical professional, I will give you a layman's view of what I have found in recovery.

Self talk can be a major barrier to our health, the way we deal with things, and can keep us stressed out and down.
We get obsessive thinking turning to things that are unhealthy for us.
Its called getting out of our heads We can get out of our head by going for a walk, (met up with a friend helps because we are held accountable if we don't walk.) work your way up to start exercising, and your energy will improve as well as your self attitude It can be hard to start up, but once you keep doing it, you sorta look forward to the way it helps so much with everything. Go to a self help group, read inspiring books or devotions.

Letting go of things we can not control ( like people, places or things) we can not control what others do, things that happen ect. We can hold on to it and is a energy drainer waste of time. I pray for the person, and if I had any part in it I do my part asap to say I am sorry and let it go.

Start paying attention to your self talk, and what you are saying. You may find that you talk yourself out of things and then turn to the bad things with out even knowing it and find yourself on the coach eating junk food... lol been there and do that myself.


Start writing a journal with your dreams, and feelings.

Go for it as this life of yours is not a dress rehearsal

Below are some links to some daily readings. Start your day everyday reading, I find it is a good way to start up my brain.
Devotions, Meditations & Inspirations

Just remember its easier to continue on with our behaviors than it is to change them I feel the 1st step in changing is the hardest.

God Bless

Hope I didn't sound too much like a Mom, lol I have 2 boys its hard to get out of that mode.



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[MyHeroIsJesus]

Living in this fallen world is not easy, but we have been given a way to overcome all of the hardships and struggles we may encounter. Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God? If you do, you have invitation to have all of your past mistakes and any future mistakes forgiven. That does not mean that it is ok to continue in sin, it means you have access to the power to overcome sin. Repent and call upon His power, I am living proof that God interacts with us. We must remember that we are not in a struggle with flesh and blood we are in a struggle with spiritual powers that want us dead, dead before we have a loving relationship with Christ. Satan will continually tell us that we are not strong enough, and we are not. Christ is! With Christ I am who He wants me to be, without Him I am nothing.

I am praying for you to trust in Him.

Todd

 

[Kid Fish]

My friend, give yourself a break. You cannot build a wall by tossing all the bricks and mortar in a pile, simultaneously digging the foundation, while pouring the footings. Each procedure has it's order, and even once the footings and foundation are erect, the actual wall is built one brick at a time.

Take a step back, and pick one goal with which to deal. Of all you have on your plate I would first recommend the job search and focus all your energy there until you find employment. You need a job and money to live. Next deal with the smoking, then the diet and exercise. But don't worry about all of it at once otherwise the struggles are overwhelming.

And look at the bright side, at least you aren't also an alcoholic...lol.

Seriously, there are bright sides and you just need to prioritize and focus and you know you can do it. I would surmise that feeling the need to relax, is hindering your ability to fix the other stuff because you are trying to do too much and it is mentally draining. So you have this mountain of issues to fix, and you address none because the mountain looks too tall, so you have a cheeseburger and buy a pack of cigarettes and watch TV. BTW, none of that makes you a bad person.

One brick, one step.

 

[Jesus4Life777]

Thank you everyone who responded.
I find the general lessons from AA to be pretty helpful.
Also, as far as priorities go, it probably it a good idea to put finding a job at the top of list. Thanks for reminding me.

Blessings of peace be with y'all