Non-christian partner

[eh7]

What if your potential future wife/current gf is not a christian? Can get married? I remember the scripture says that the Lord said cannot. Then how?

 

[Gentle]

My wife is Buddhist, I don't see any problem with it
its good for both of us spiritually, always growing sharing exchanging ideas

peace man
God bless
Andrew

 

[Linnis]

Blue will be in here before long.

The bible says something about not knowingly going into a marriage with a non-Christian because you'd be unequally yolked but if you already are to make the best of it. Something like that.

I think Blue will tell you much better.

 

[LiberatedChick]

I'm married to a non-Christian...I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. We're both happy, don't fight or anything and he accepts my faith...but somethings missing. Our marriage is spiritually empty. At times I feel like I'm completely alone even though he's in the same room. The reason I feel that way is because I so want to share things with him about God...I want to talk about my experiences, my bible reading, church, my prayers...but I can't. I feel like I'm bound and gagged because I can't talk with my husband about the most important relationship I have...my relationship with God.

That's not to mention the risk of being pulled away from God because of my unbelieving husband. There's been times when I've really had to fight giving up on God and walking away from Him for a second time. Your spouse is meant to support you, to build you up...a non-Christian spouse, without meaning to or realising it, does drain you and pull you away from God.

One verse (there's many others) that is most commonly quoted is...

14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

I view this as a warning verse to those unmarried as it's basically saying "If you ain't married to an unbeliever...DON'T marry an unbeliever". I've recently started a bible reading plan and have been reading through the OT...throughout what I've read so far there's verses telling the Israellites not to intermarry with the people in the land they're going to have because these people will drag them away from God and have them worshipping other Gods. So this isn't by any means the only verse about marrying unbelievers.

The other most commonly quoted verse is this one...

[quote="1 Corinthians 7:12-16]12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? [/quote]

Some say this verse contradicts the previous one as it says not to divorce an unbeliever and that they are sanctified through there believing spouse. This is not so. This verse is speaking to those who are *already* married. The previous was a warning to the unmarried. This is telling those who are already married to an unbeliever...those that married whilst both believers and then one fell away, or those that married whilst both unbelievers and then one got saved, or those that plain ignored the warning against marrying unbelievers given in 2 Corinthians 6:14.

So I wouldn't recommend even dating, let alone marrying a non-believer to anyone.

 

[Amy47]

Blue will be in here before long.

The bible says something about not knowingly going into a marriage with a non-Christian because you'd be unequally yolked but if you already are to make the best of it. Something like that.

I think Blue will tell you much better.

Yup she'll be here soon. . But In the meantime I found this info on the net:

In contrast to staying in love, falling in love tends to be something outside our control. Devoted Christians can therefore find themselves in love with non-Christians. Some, unaware that Scripture addresses this matter, have even deliberately exposed themselves to this in the hope of winning someone to the Lord. If ever the saying ‘The path to hell is paved with good intentions’ were true, it applies to this tragedy.


‘Do not be deceived,’ says Scripture, ‘evil companions corrupt good behavior.’ No matter how strong you are, choose the wrong friend, and you’ll be corrupted. Not everyone believes that. That’s why Scripture prefaces this warning with the words, Do not be deceived. If you look at the context, you’ll see ‘evil companions’ are not necessarily people we would normally think of as being evil, but people who don’t believe the right things about God.

A prime example is Solomon. Not even all his wisdom could keep him from ruining his life because he chose to befriend women who, though religious, believed the wrong things about God.

Since the Bible insists you have little chance if you chose ungodly people as close friends, you must choose between God and wrong friendships. You will not have both for long. When choosing close friends, especially where there is a chance of romantic involvement, remember this simple fact: a person either belongs to God or to the devil. There is no middle ground.

To have sex with a non-Christian is to defile Christ. Scripture is emphatic that sex makes two people one. A born-again Christian is spiritually united to Christ and a non-Christian is spiritually united to the devil. To marry a non-Christian is therefore to try to make Christ one with the devil.

A spiritually mixed marriage is a hideous perversion. It is the profanity of trying to unite that which must never be united – trying to unite that which belongs to the Holy One to that which belongs to the Evil One; trying to make holiness (that’s what we are through our union with Jesus) one with evil (that’s the basic nature of the nicest non-Christian).



It makes sense to me. So does that answer your question?

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Blue Impulse, are people picking on you? Why did everyone say that you would soon be here to post about this topic????

 

[Linnis]

hahaha they aren't picking on me, they are just speaking the truth, they know I can't turn down the opportunity to comment on a "Christian dates NonChristian" topic

But I've run out of things to tell people after going through this extensively every month or every other week

~ ~

I wasn't picking on ya blue, just telling the truth. Could you resist this topic? Hehe

 

[Linnis]

That's okay.

 

[Amy47]

So is it more clear to you now?

 

[eh7]

Thanks Blue Impulse and everyone for the replies. Pretty long .... Have to re-read again after my exam which is soon to be over.

Anyway, I thought Paul also said that as long as your non-believer parnter do not interfere in your faith and follow you, it is okay. And I heard some cases of non-believer partner being converted during the course of their marriage. My father is one example - not quite sure what are the reasons, no one in the family preach to him... he just decided to be a Catholic one day.

 

[Amy47]

Thanks Blue Impulse and everyone for the replies. Pretty long .... Have to re-read again after my exam which is soon to be over.

Anyway, I thought Paul also said that as long as your non-believer parnter do not interfere in your faith and follow you, it is okay. And I heard some cases of non-believer partner being converted during the course of their marriage. My father is one example - not quite sure what are the reasons, no one in the family preach to him... he just decided to be a Catholic one day.

The bible warns us not to get close to non-christians because they will most likely bring us down with them. As harsh as that sounds, it's true. We can think of all the "what ifs" (like what if they suddenly convert) we want but I think in the end we are better off not putting ourselves at risk of falling in our Christian lives.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Yes, I've been there also. Dated a non-Christian and even got engaged before some things happened and we probably would've split up. He "became" a Christian. There was never any fruit and I am ashamed that I picked such a man to be the father to my kids. So now I'm a divorced woman with two kids who have a father they talk to on the phone only. The phone only contact might actually be a blessing.
Every once in a while since I've been single I struggle with the idea of trying to contact a man that I had a huge crush on before I was married. He was not a Christian. I actually tried to witness to him once and he walked away. And then I slap myself in the head because I know that those feelings might come back for him and he's probably not a Christian and what a temptation that would be. Never date a non-Christian.

 

[eh7]

Paul didn't say that. He said to people who were already married to non-believers and didn't have all the information BEFORE they made that choice, to them he said if you are married to a non-believer and the non-believer is willing to stay in the marriage then you too must stay in the marriage. (edit: but I say again, this was said to people who were ALREADY married, who did NOT know this BEFORE Paul came.. however you know, so you can't claim ignorance on this matter. Even I have a little ignorance on my side, I married my husband as a weak Christian and was NOT familiar with the Word of God on this matter, if I had have known maybe I would have been a little more cautious.)

Paul never said anything about it being ok as long as you followed your faith.

Missionary dating and Missionary marrying (dating or marrying assuming your partner will convert, due in part to your influence) is wrong. Its dangerous. Its not a good idea. You have to marry your partner for who they are, not for who they could become. If a person is a non-Christian now, you can't assume they will ever be Christian, you have to base decisions on who they are in the present, not the future.

You can pray, you can hope, but you can never change another person, only they have control of their own salvation, and if you feel like you want to be an influence in their lives for that then remain close friends and leave it at that. God only puts one person's salvation on your shoulders, and thats your own. He does not expect you to "missionary date" or "missionary marry", in fact He has specifically spoken against marrying non-believers, so you *must* follow the word of God carefully and heed the warnings He has given to others in similar situations. God does not say things lightly.

~ ~

Hi Blue Impulse,

You have been a great help to me. I get what you mean. However, it seems that my closer friends are mainly non-believers. It seems that I am more comfortable with my non-believer friends than my christian friends. This makes me more difficult to expose myself more frequent to the christians, I guess.

Anyway, thanks everyone for the explanations.

God bless.