Nobody believes me...

[MonkeyWithAGun]

so this is kind of hard to talk about, but the only person who thinks i had a hypo manic/ manic episode is my psychiatrist.

recently, i went through this thing of looking for a random sexual encounter... with anyone, and my wife happened to find out about it a week after i had started the search.

I never did anything with anyone, but there was this rush/ excitement when it came to the search.

I guess i had some symptoms of a manic episode... no sleep needed, impulsive behavior/ sexual behavior, feeling "high," distracted, and grandiose thinking (mostly about the situation or the chase....)
I didnt have any irritability, as i felt like i was in a good mood and nothing could make it bad... but i had gone on some small spending sprees the 2 weeks before since it was christmas season.

Im, bipolar type 2 NOS,
Im also a "sex addict" (sex seems to be the thing i focus on a lot and i was stuck on porn for a while.)

I guess what i am trying to say is that everyone... wife, friends, counselor seem to think it was just relapse from my sex addiction. they think its all behavioral or a sin issue.

Its not something i would have normally done, and during the time i was searching, i felt shameful and felt that it wasnt "me." I dont know how to go about trying to figure this situation out. I believe that it was a manic episode and had nothing to do with my "sex addiction."

basically, i clicked a link i didnt mean to, and from there it spiraled into me seeking a one night stand.

Now, im not trying to find an excuse for my behavior. i knew it was wrong the entire time, but it wasnt something i could have controlled.

My counselor who is christian based thinks i should join their sex addiction group and find accountability.

My psychiatrist, who is christian, but not a christian workplace... states that it was hypo manic/ manic episode and upped my mood stabilizer and we may change it in a month.

sorry for my long post... but i need to kind of think out loud and hear other peoples experiences. maybe you have gone through something similar... but i dont think im making up that i am bipolar.

i know it wasnt just relapse, because it wasnt like i was just "using" something. rather just chasing a high. Im sure the group would help, but im not sure that actually tackles the root problem.

it isnt that i dont want to go to this group or anything like that, but i dont know if i should explain my thought of why i think it was bipolar to my counselor or not. Or maybe whether he would listen to me about it, and paying extra money

 

[ShadowsChild]

I believe you that is was a manic episode.
I am type 1 bipolar with scizo (sp) tendencies, and let's just say I have been there.
Increased sex drive and promiscious behavior is one of the many indicators of a manic episode.
So if your physiciatist has stated that it's what happened - why do you doubt it, along with what does it matter if those around you doubt.
Even is a relapse of your addiction or a manic episode - it is something you need support to deal with. Whether you acted on it or not, something like that -especially as believers- is a shock to our system, what with being against everything we are taught to believe.
Have you asked for just there support?

 

[sahjimira]

Ya I can relate. When I'm manic I do feel like another person. I know it's me and I tell myself I shouldn't b doing this but it's like I'm watching myself do it anyway and yes feeling a high. I can hardly wait to get to a psych to get on proper meds. I due to go for eval and treatment. Believe me if not alone!

 

[Mikhaela]

Manic episode for sure. I can testify the the Lord will help with this. All the issues you mentioned I have dealt with myself. So far things are well. But the behavior happens and I am aware of it and must always be in prayer. Mania can cause risky behavior that is for sure. Helps with having the right medication. I noticed Effexor XR, Lamictal,Abilify and Seroquel help(need to find something to replace seroquel though dangerous medication) helps me. Also prayer and reading of Scripture. This brings wholeness to my being.

 

[sahjimira]

Hey! Glad ur feeling better..meds the right ones make all the difference in the world. I am now on lamictal clonazepam lexapro and olanzapine. Need some tweeking but wow I feel so much better

 

[sahjimira]

P. S. Mikhaela, why is seroquel bad? I ask because i was on it a few yrs ago. I liked it but the doc I went to eventually had me on so many meds I. couldn't think straight. I didn't notice until my family and best friend said they thought I was over medicated. It turned out to b a big mess. Different doc now. I. went without meds for maybe a year. Things got progressively worse. Finally got insurance... quickly acted on finding a new doc etv

 

[BookofMatt]

I was on Seroquel for about a year, about 300mg...aside from the expected sedative aspects, after a while it kind of wore off in particular areas and I started having problems with psychosis again. I was switched to Risperidone a few months ago. I don't know about any "dangerous" aspects of Seroquel, though.

 

[sahjimira]

Hey! Good to hear from u. I wasn't on seroquel very long..I. liked it OK but I think long term use can potentially cause diabetes.