no peace, no joy

[yuppers]

Hi guys, this thread speaks to me to with the struggles the op is going through, I wanted to write to the op but I saw this thread was opened again and the original is almost 3 years old.

 

[GardenOfEdenWithYou]

I have thought of that too.. my cross to carry. I dont disagree; that could be very true. But, not comforting, especially when I hoped for deliverance for so long. As I said I am not Christ... Decades of this is not good for any relationship - human or Deity. Something has to give. I see people give up who are much stronger than me, and I just kind of figure my number will be up soon too. I wont hope too much on victory... Quite frankly I am getting repulsed by the idea of life after this one.

I dont necessarily want to be happy... I want what the OP wants: peace.

I understand what you are saying, sometimes i think the same: how many crosses do i have to carry? Mental and physical illness, crap job / work team until recently, husband with debt, anxiety and not interested in intimate relations. Sometimes i feel i cant take it anymore, on the verge of loosing my mind, but than again im thinking, you know something? I deserve it, all of this and even more. God did not spare much better people, why would he spare me? I just hope he will help me keep my sanity, thats all and as you said give me so e peace. But im soo looking forward to our next life, if God will have mercy on me. I cant wait to be with almighty god, the biggest artist and the bggest mystery of all. I have waited for Him all my life. So please dont see the next lfe in such a negative way. That is our home.

 

[maggie321]

Wow ... me too ... where is the peace. I too do not know how long I can hang on.
Every morning I wake in fear and torment. Reading the Bible only seems to condemn me.
Never mind joy ... I would be happy just to have peace and also to feel like I actually love God, instead of just being afraid of him. To feel unworthy of peace of mind and heart is so depressing. And what does one do when NOT thinking of God ... giving up on Christianity ... actually seems like it finally brings peace.
Every day is a nightmare.

 

[Tigger45]

Wow ... me too ... where is the peace. I too do not know how long I can hang on.
Every morning I wake in fear and torment. Reading the Bible only seems to condemn me.
Never mind joy ... I would be happy just to have peace and also to feel like I actually love God, instead of just being afraid of him. To feel unworthy of peace of mind and heart is so depressing. And what does one do when NOT thinking of God ... giving up on Christianity ... actually seems like it finally brings peace.
Every day is a nightmare.

First welcome to CF!

Read what this guys has to say about finding peace and let me know what you think.

orthodoxengland.org.uk/pdf/thaddeus.pdf