No one believes we have AS?

[designer mom]

Hi there, my husband and I are just discovering that we BOTH most likely have AS. We took the "Aspie Quiz" to start off, and it told us both that we're "most likely Aspies" and we've been doing a lot of research and talking to people on wrong planet...and we both feel like we've finally found an explanation for our lifetimes of issues. We feel that this is probably a huge part of the reason why we were so attracted to each other initially, it was like we finally found another person who "got" us. Anyway...now that we're here, we're finding that not a single person believes us! Some people believe that my husband could have it, because he's a little more "weird" I guess, but neither of us have any long term friendships and have too many AS traits to list. We have some marriage problems due to overlapping issues, and we could really use some behavioral therapy and counciling from someone who understands AS. Neither my therapist nor my husbands believes us, and mine refuses to even talk to me about it. I told her that I had a melt-down after being interrupted and broke a table, and fractured my wrist in the process...and in the same session she was still trying to convince me that there's "nothing wrong with me". What on earth?!?!

Anyway...I don't know what to do about this. I see that this is a common problem among people with AS, and that people are largely misinformed in general about Autism (including professionals)...so what can I do to find help? We have a 1 year old son, and I would like to figure things out ASAP so that we can keep a close eye on him for early intervention purposes.

Thanks

 

[abysmul]

Hi there, my husband and I are just discovering that we BOTH most likely have AS. We took the "Aspie Quiz" to start off, and it told us both that we're "most likely Aspies" and we've been doing a lot of research and talking to people on wrong planet...and we both feel like we've finally found an explanation for our lifetimes of issues. We feel that this is probably a huge part of the reason why we were so attracted to each other initially, it was like we finally found another person who "got" us. Anyway...now that we're here, we're finding that not a single person believes us! Some people believe that my husband could have it, because he's a little more "weird" I guess, but neither of us have any long term friendships and have too many AS traits to list. We have some marriage problems due to overlapping issues, and we could really use some behavioral therapy and counciling from someone who understands AS. Neither my therapist nor my husbands believes us, and mine refuses to even talk to me about it. I told her that I had a melt-down after being interrupted and broke a table, and fractured my wrist in the process...and in the same session she was still trying to convince me that there's "nothing wrong with me". What on earth?!?!

Anyway...I don't know what to do about this. I see that this is a common problem among people with AS, and that people are largely misinformed in general about Autism (including professionals)...so what can I do to find help? We have a 1 year old son, and I would like to figure things out ASAP so that we can keep a close eye on him for early intervention purposes.

Thanks

The online quiz? The first line on the page says: Disclaimer: This questionnaire is only to give an indication and to inform- It should not be taken as substitute for a professional evaluation.

I've known some "professionals" in the health fields that really hate what the internet has done, so many people go to the internet, self diagnose and then go tell their health professional what's wrong with them and then get upset when the professional does not agree. I'm not saying that's happened here, but it's possible that whoever you've gone to is simply reacting to your self diagnosis... so you might just want to find someone locally that specializes and see if you can get an appointment with them.

 

[designer mom]

so you might just want to find someone locally that specializes and see if you can get an appointment with them.

Right...that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I can't find anyone who specializes...that's the problem I'm having. I can't get anyone to refer me because they don't believe what I'm saying and won't give me the time of day when it comes to AS.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi designer mom,
Welcome to CF.

I'd agree that there is nothing wrong with you. AS unless its really sever is not a negative things in my mind. I'm actually glad I have it. Ya, it took me years to figure out, learn enough to be comfortable in most situations. But I still don't talk much in groups and often make awkward statements in those situations. But there are so many things I like about being AS.

As you learn more about AS you will learn you can't change it, but knowing what you have you can learn how to handle many of your situations. Its not a easy thing, I found it took a lot of mental work on my part. But I did the work and am enjoying life for the most part. I know NT people still often miss what I'm saying about some topics, but that's there problem.

This may now help, now that I think about it. LOL ... just that there is no easy fix. Sorry

 

[Sabertooth]

Right...that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I can't find anyone who specializes...that's the problem I'm having. I can't get anyone to refer me because they don't believe what I'm saying and won't give me the time of day when it comes to AS.

Even after getting a confirming diagnosis from a neurologist, I have run into so many deniers when trying to get follow-up counseling. Many of them have tried to re-diagnose me with Schizotypal Personality Disorder, even though I flat-lined an MMPI-2. I think much of this may be tied to the removal of Asperger's Syndrome from the DSM-V.

Your local chapter of the Autism Society of America may be able to help you locate a nearby provider, but the majority of services (in most places) are directed toward children.

 

[jackmt]

Neither my therapist nor my husbands believes us, and mine refuses to even talk to me about it. I told her that I had a melt-down after being interrupted and broke a table, and fractured my wrist in the process...and in the same session she was still trying to convince me that there's "nothing wrong with me". What on earth?!?!

I was in therapy for 35 years and none of my therapists saw it. My wife read an article about Asperger's in one of her women's magazines and said she thought it described me. Two subsequent therapists were willing to look at me from that perspective but couldn't really see it. After reading about 15 books on AS, taking the online tests, and reading online blogs (where I saw my life story written by 3 other Aspies) and being convinced I had AS, I found a therapist who specializes in Asperger's. She saw it immediately. The more I study AS, the more my life is explained.

I am in an adult Asperger's support group that meets weekly.

Find someone who specializes in ASD.

 

[designer mom]

I was in therapy for 35 years and none of my therapists saw it. My wife read an article about Asperger's in one of her women's magazines and said she thought it described me. Two subsequent therapists were willing to look at me from that perspective but couldn't really see it. After reading about 15 books on AS, taking the online tests, and reading online blogs (where I saw my life story written by 3 other Aspies) and being convinced I had AS, I found a therapist who specializes in Asperger's. She saw it immediately. The more I study AS, the more my life is explained.

I am in an adult Asperger's support group that meets weekly.

Find someone who specializes in ASD.

Thank you!!! I'm not surprised to read what you wrote here, it seems like it's the path I'm heading into. My husband is being assessed today at work (they have an on-site contracted therapist) and the guy is supposed to be available to family members of the employee's too, but HE too refuses to test me. He's only testing my husband to humor him (he thinks my husband has "avoidant personality disorder" even though my husband completely disagree's), which doesn't make any sense to me at all because my husband very obviously has AS. This is an ENGINEERING firm, you would think they would hire someone who knew more about this! The most he offered to do was either send me a link to an online test (which I'm sure I've already taken) or send a copy of the test he's giving my husband today home with him for me.

I contacted a couple of the local Childhood Autism places in hopes of someone pointing me in the right direction. I'm just waiting for them to get back to me. This is so frustrating, but thanks for making me feel less alone in this struggle

 

[elevationgirl]

I'm sorry for your struggle! I went for years not knowing what was "wrong" with me. Do you have anyone in your family who might have AS (parent, uncle, aunt, grandparent)? It's difficult when you look at your parents generation because it's not as known. My father has AS, but he doesn't know it. He's too self-centered to understand! Sounds like your hubby. My father has it, my two brother's have it (one diagnosed), a nephew, me and my son.

Find a psychologist or psychiatrist. What state do you live in? I have some articles that I have written if you want to pm me. You need to find someone who specializes in autism spectrum disorders. And yes, it is important. If I didn't know that I had AS, I couldn't help my son.

God bless,

Stacy

 

[MoeSzyslak]

I have never had that problem. I have never been able to pass for normal. I have carried various diagnosis's since I was 5. I have only told a few people about my AS diagnosis; sister-in-law and a few of my sons friends parents from his AS play group. I always get "well, duh" or "that's what I thought".

I have heard many complaints of adults not being able to find someone who is capable of diagnosing adults. It does appear the industry is focused on kids.

I don't know if you will ever find a therapist who is trained in counseling adults on the spectrum. I don't think they exist. I conceded a long time ago that its me, myself and I. (and a little Budweiser) There isn't anyone there to help me. No friends, the church has seriously failed and my family has long disowned me. Its between me and God to figure it out.

 

[jackmt]

I have never had that problem. I have never been able to pass for normal. I have carried various diagnosis's since I was 5. I have only told a few people about my AS diagnosis; sister-in-law and a few of my sons friends parents from his AS play group. I always get "well, duh" or "that's what I thought".

My problem was that I appeared too normal, so my family thought me crazy, weird, and stupid. When I married, my so-called wife called me bizarre and ridiculous for 3 years. (She was crazy and stupid.)

I have heard many complaints of adults not being able to find someone who is capable of diagnosing adults. It does appear the industry is focused on kids.

There seems very little out there for adults. We have to learn to be our own advocates. It is very difficult for me to advocate for me.

I conceded a long time ago that its me, myself and I.

The unholy trinity.

 

[Sabertooth]

Check with your local chapter of Autism Society of America. With the exception of the psychologist that first diagnosed me, I have had the best care from neuropsychologists, but not all of them specialize in ASDs.