No, Mary Was Not an Unwed Mother

Michie · Dec 16, 2023

When we hear that Mary is “betrothed” to Joseph, the translation leaves something out: they're legally married.

Two of the most memorable Bible passages in Advent and during Christmastide are Luke 1:26-38 and Matt. 1:18-25, tracing the angel’s message of the Incarnation to the Virgin Mary and Joseph, respectively. Yet, as familiar as these passages are to most of us, many of us can scarcely understand what’s going on in either passage.

For example, were Mary and Joseph married at the time of the Annunciation? Why does Matthew refer to Joseph as Mary’s “husband,” yet common translations of Luke have Mary saying to the angel, “I have no husband” (Matt. 1:19, Luke 1:34)? What does it mean that Joseph “took his wife,” or that Joseph “knew her not until she had borne a son” (Matt. 1:24-25)?

To answer these questions, as we approach Christmas, we need to learn to read these Scripture passages through Jewish eyes.

Jewish weddings have two distinct stages:kiddushin and nisuin. After the first stage, there is a legal marriage that only death or divorce can break. These days, the two stages typically occur in a single ceremony, but because “bachelor pads” weren’t really a thing in antiquity, a first-century husband had some time (upwards of a year) after the wedding to prepare a home for his new wife. When he brought his wife into the home and they began married life together (nisuin), the marriage process was completed.

Thus, when we hear Jesus saying, “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also” (John 14:2-3), we should recognize the marital imagery. He’s saying to the Church that she’s already his bride, and that this life is the short space between the kiddushin and the nisuin—the wedding ceremony and the marital homecoming.

Continued below.