Does "For Better or for Worse" mean that you are married for life? Stuck in a bad marriage for life? "For better or for worse" has been wrongly applied to attacks that arise from "inside" the marriage covenant rather than its correct application to attacks that come from "outside" the marriage covenant relationship.
Being "married for life" means that you are having a great relationship with the person you are married to because they take the violations of the marriage covenant seriously and preserve the joy and happiness of marriage union.
"For Better or For Worse," Conditions of the Covenant
What does it mean when the marriage vows (the conditions of the marriage covenant) are recited by the marriage partners committing themselves to stay together "for better or for worse"?
Does "for better or for worse" mean that you are married for life - regardless of the violations committed against you in the marriage? The answer is No! Nor has it ever meant that.
There are two separate and distinct areas from where attacks against the marriage covenant arise:
- From within the marriage itself - through the partners of the covenant.
- From outside the marriage relationship - against the marriage partners.
"For better or for worse" is a commitment by the marriage partners to rise-up together against those situations that would threaten the marriage covenant relationship from
outside the marriage.
Many are bound in bad marriages and/or guilt because of misapplying this part of the marriage vow to violations that come from
within the marriage covenant instead of it's rightful application to attacks that come from
outside the marriage covenant relationship.
Mistakenly applying this part of the marriage vow to attacks that come from
within the marriage relationship automatically turns the marriage covenant into an indissolvable, unbreakable, unconditional covenant (a covenant without conditions - anything goes). Meaning, you have to stay married to that person no matter what abuses or violations they have committed against you in the relationship. Not even God makes unbreakable unconditional covenants with sinful man. Yet, we have accepted this mistaken application as truth thereby believing that a marriage covenant with two sinful people is supposed to be "unconditional" - without any conditions.
Within the very meaning of the name "covenant" lies the essential fact that there are conditions to a covenant. Violations that occur from
within the marriage itself - by the partners of the covenant, are correctly applied to the
nurturing parts of the vow: "To have and to hold, to cherish and to love," EVERY covenant has conditions! The nurturing parts of the marriage vow ARE the
conditions of the covenant to whereby a marriage partner commits not to intentionally bring harm in anyway to the relationship; but rather, builds it up. (The full article can be read or downloaded from:
Marriage Covenants Are Conditional (NOT Unconditional).
