No Hugging Husband

[All4Christ]

I'm okay with hugging relatives. I can hug other people, male or female, too. But it's a bit less comfortable hugging females that aren't my wife. I kind of just go with the flow. It's not that big of a deal to me. I probably wouldn't try to avoid hugging a woman, say at church or something, unless I had the sense that it wasn't a 'clean hug' she was after, you know, if it felt the motivation was weird. It was an adjustment for me going from Indonesia where people just don't hug, at least not in public, to a more huggy culture in the US. I've never hugged my inlaws.

I greeted an attractive blonde girl at church once. She hugged, then she kissed me on the earlobe. That was weird, but I can tell she missed. I think she was aiming for the cheek. Still a bit weird for me, but she was Russian and I figure they have different customs. I've lived in Indonesia. Some women don't hug at all. Some give you a fake air kiss thing where you don't really kiss each other. And there are some parts of the world, parts of America included, where your males friends, co-workers, etc. kiss your wife on the cheek when they greet her and shake your hand. If I don't sense anything amiss in the intentions, I don't make a fuss.

Yes, side kisses are very common in the Russian culture, as is the case for many other cultures. Typically it is three side kisses right in a row, but there normally isn't any contact with the lips (kind of like the fake air kiss). Often it ends up being sort of just head to one side, the other side, and back again to the first side type of thing.

 

[HondaMan]

I'm a man. I hug my wife and daughter. Sometimes my brothers/sisters in law, just because they lean towards a hug. Otherwise, I avoid hugs. I honestly don't like hugging strangers.

 

[98cwitr]

Here is a different thought--
I like hugging people but only if it's a real hug. Not like a "oh, we just hung out with the in laws and we are about to leave, let's HUG kinda sorta, bye bye see you next time." I hate that.
My wife and I had a mutual friend (female) who was very touchy feely, with both of us. The kind of person who just wanted real hugs. She was one of the only people that I've ever felt comfortable giving a REAL hug, directly in front of my wife.
I think if you are two people who are open, good friends, and comfortable, you can have a real hug and it will be authentic, with no "lust" component. Lust tends to trickle in when it's someone you don't know well, or someone who is closed-off or inauthentic in some way.
It's the same way with nudity. People think seeing other's nude would arouse lust, but in fact it's the exact opposite. The sight of someone naked and comfortable with it actually seems to dampen lust in those around them. Most people never figure that out though.

My wife and I have a friend like that as well. Really no big deal IMO.

 

[All4Christ]

Personally we have side hugs with mutual friends. Even with extended family, we typically have side hugs. Immediate family (parents, siblings, husband [emoji6]) tend to have frontal hugs. There are some girls (really close friends) that I give a full hug and there is one mutual guy friend that just gives both of us full hugs (as does his wife). I think communication and being comfortable with your spouse's decision is the key. Each couple is different.

 

[WalksWithChrist]

I've gone from not liking hugs that much at all to not caring who I hug. I went through the one-arm hug phase for a bit. A hug is a pure expression of human feeling and comfort. The fact that some have trouble (and I totally understand why, I'm not knocking them) with hugs does not diminish that. I keep hearing about hug therapy in hospitals and how beneficial it is. I can't deny something that is so helpful.
http://www.rewireme.com/journeys/hug-therapy-high-touch-healing-high-tech-world/

If I, former Mr. Personal Space, can hug it can't be that bad. I was raised in a non-hugging family. I remember one trip to visit my parents and brother I had the most awkward hug with my mom when I left. And I'm sure she felt that too. I don't feel that nearly as much now, and that's a good thing.

I feel like we have lost so much as a society that we are afraid of simple expressions like hugs.

ETA: Just came across this, so I'm sharing.
https://www.thedodo.com/gigi-owl-hu...acebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=dodofb