No group for me

[memoriesbymichelle]

I just went on Meetup.org for my area. 36 pages of groups and 5 possibles for me. But going thru all the groups just made me feel like I didn't belong anyway. Some are for moms with babies, and Some are for Astrologer's or some other mystic spiritualism, and some of the others are for age groups. One was for Singles over 55. Well I'm going to be 53 so I guess I'm too young. Others were for 21-39 or somewhere in the 40's.
My whole life I have felt I never really fit in anywhere. And mostly that's OK because this world is not my home so....But I think I am against "groups" because it segregates people. I feel like I can relate to all ages just like I like all (or most) kinds of music. I wonder if there is something wrong with me, or with my thinking though because there is no real reason why I wouldn't fit in. It's just been my experience that when I go against my feelings and say I'm going to go anyway and maybe it will be different, it never is....I never end up saying "WOW I'm SO glad I went anyway!" usually I end up wondering why I went in the first place. Am I weird or what?

 

[dayhiker]

yup your weird, Michelle ... LOL thanks for an other setup.

My experience with meetup is that they aren't a stickler around the boundaries. So 3 yrs younger wouldn't really be a problem where I am anyways.

You can start a meetup for no cost, I forget if its for 3 months or 6 months, no cost. Then there is a cost. So that could be a way to find people that have a similar interest to you.

The way I see the groups separating people is people not wanting to meetup with those that are meeting. I've been to many meetups. I was always accepted and had interesting talks with those I meetup with. I go to one about every week. I got two scheduled for this weekend. The worst meetup I ever went to was an art meetup, we went out to a vegetarian restaurant. I picked the best meal and it was terrible. But I still enjoyed listing to them talk and putting in a few thoughts.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Thanks dayhiker! I can always count on you to kick me when I'm down (kidding lol). The only groups that sounded interesting is the photography groups but I don't have the right kind of camera atm so...it's getting a little hot to go hiking here and IDK, I'm just weird. I don't want to be in an all women's group, but I don't want to be in a group where they go to bars all the time and that's the other big downside for me is that I don't have money so I can't be in say a "travel" group because I don't have funds for that. Now if they had a broke and in debt group.....!!

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, activities cost, where one does things with a group or not. There is a guy here who is really cheap, he runs a social fun group. Has 4000 members and most of their activities aren't too bad. But it still costs to travel to the events, often go out to eat afterwards. So even that does cost. So I certianly understand that.

 

[blackribbon]

I am a member of the "parents who sit on the bleachers at baseball games and the ice arena"....cause I don't have any time to have a social life. However, when I have sat up late at night, unable to sleep, and have looked to see what I could be missing out on...and I don't have any groups either.

I am thinking about starting a group for insomniacs but unless we decided to play hockey, I don't think there is anything OPEN late enough to do if we did meet. Even the gas stations are closed by 10pm but the ice arena starts games after midnight. LOL.

Another thought is a Hermits Club...but not so sure how that one would work out either.

 

[blackribbon]

Okay...back in Texas, we had a free "magazine" around town that was called "Leizure Learning" which had different classes and groups that anyone could join. The nice thing about classes is that they have a start and end date so you can quit if you want to...however, the bad thing about classes is that they have a start and end date which is a pain if you actually find a class you like.

Anyway, there are dance classes (no partner necessary), cooking classes, computer classes, how to start a business classes, wine tasting groups, one day field trips, field trip groups which meet at different places each week, hiking, walking, etc...

In the town I live in now, there is a little magazine put out by the town which tells all the organized activities offered through the city...the thickest part is for seniors and I'm thinking about crashing (not old enough yet) a couple of these events if I ever have time...especially when they get group rates to go to plays and drive a bus to get us there.

Also check the bulletin board in the library...there IS a group for you, you just got to find it.

 

[dayhiker]

The seniors would love some younger people along. Always nice to have a young pretty face around.


So I've been to two group meeting since yesterday!
The 1st was a meetup and the meeting was "Battle of the Sexes." So naturally we were divided into men and women. One of the activities was the team had to pick an activity for the other group to act out, think improve. So the guys picked a nail saloon. Theen the ladies were told they had to play men going into a nail Solon to get a manicure. 4 women accepted this challenge. They did a really good job and it was so funny.
Afterwards I got to talk with this lady for 45 mins to an hour. I do what I'll call a conversational witness. In the process of of sharing about our life I mention my Christian activities and how meaningful there are to me. Including the meeting I went to this morning. It turned out she is Jewish.

This group is 5-6 Christian guys. We get together every 2 weeks, we accept each other, support each other and don't tell the others how to live. But the goals we set for ourselves the others support them in. Its the most authentic Christian group I've ever been apart of. No smiling and saying everything is good when something isn't good. We rejoice with those that are rejoicing and weep .. OK are sad when others are down about something in their life or their family.

I'm feeling really blessed

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Hey dayhiker that group of guys you get together with sounds really great! Like really living life with other Christian's!
There is something in me that keeps me from venturing out. Not sure exactly what it is atm because I am a pretty outgoing person. I still have my younger son to cart around (I am a taxi cab driver lol) and of course, my 2 jobs and my one friend that has cancer, and my bible study group. So I'm not just sittin at home and I DO have one group, my bible study so...IDK. It's just been my experience in the past that I hope for the best and try to go against my feelings and most of the time it doesn't work out. Like I joined a "singles" bible study because I wanted to be with people like me. Well it turned out I met some nice people, but ALL of them were way younger than me. Three of them were teacher's and one of them was married, but she had a husband that worked out of town, so she needed a group she could hang with, and one whose house we met at, had a special needs child and was a single mom. They were all nice people, but most of them did not really read their bible and they just weren't where I was in life. The group ended for the summer and 2 people moved away, another one was just too busy, another one just had a baby, and the one whose house we met at did not want to be the leader and couldn't find someone to lead it, so it just never started back up after the summer.
I went to a couple of "singles" events at our church. Kind of clickish and not many people getting outside their comfort zone. They all go out to eat afterward and I was dieting at the time so I didn't go so....it was kind of disappointing. Doesn't mean I won't continue to try these events or to find a group, it's just where God has me right now I guess.

 

[dayhiker]

Michelle,
Ya, that group of guys is living their Christian life in an honest way before each other. We don't put on any airs in front of each other. No Christian smile on our faces covering up a struggle we don't dare to talk about because good Christians don't deal with the gritty details of life.
I've been thinking about a wedding a went to 3 yrs ago. The Bride and groom did a really great dance together. Now I knew they didn't go to dances in HS. They had taken dance lessons at some dance studio. So I asked them about it. He said we prayed and God provided. OK you prayed. I'm thinking: OK God gave you the ability to move to the rhythm of the music. But one of God's creations taught you the dance moves and your not acknowledging what he gave you. That seems to me it partially fit the phrase to heavenly minded to be ay earthly good.

So I seem my men's group as being a Godly group of men who don't put on any airs.

Actually, thinking about what you said about being so busy, which I completely understand and have no problem with. I love adventure and am even more adventurous now than I have have been in my life. But it seems a lot (not all) of ladies at my age don't interested in adventures any more. Or maybe mine are too extreme for them! But this seems to be a theme that I'm starting to notice. So I'll probably be commenting more about it as I understand it more.

 

[Bridgit]

I joined two singles groups in order to increase my chances of meeting my Mr. Just-right-for-me, one group via a church, the other via meetup, but unfortunately it's mostly always women who participate in the activities.

So frustrating ........

 

[dayhiker]

That must be why I love meetup groups ..

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

That must be why I love meetup groups ..

dayhiker YOU are not helping!

 

[Bridgit]

Lol

 

[dayhiker]

dayhiker YOU are not helping!

I thought the ladies wanted more men at the meetups!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I thought the ladies wanted more men at the meetups!

LOL we DO but you saying "that's why you like going, because there are alot of women there does not help LOL. And I was just joshin ya too BTW.

 

[dayhiker]

That was my way of joshin back ... that line of humor I use just doesn't work over the web. *shrug*

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

That was my way of joshin back ... that line of humor I use just doesn't work over the web. *shrug*

I should have told you there were no josh backs

 

[dayhiker]

WHo made up that rule? I can never keep the rules straight! I think I'll have to stick with the 2 biggies!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

WHo made up that rule? I can never keep the rules straight! I think I'll have to stick with the 2 biggies!

LOL WHAT are the 2 biggies?

 

[dayhiker]

Love God and love people