Nightmares and flashbacks

[lilnicciebaby]

My daughter is five, so it has been about 6 years since my assault. Now I love my daughter and everything but I am just so frustrated that I have to stomach my attacker at visits because he has rights and stuff. Then I have nightmares of the attack days after the visit for her. Now I have not seen him for about two years because he is in jail but now I am finding that I am having flashbacks of the attack and he is no where around. I am at a loss of what to do. I never pressed charges because he is my daughter's father and thus a part of her but feel that maybe I should of. Too late now because the statue of limitations is up and I do not want my daughter to hate me however, I cannot continue to have nightmares and flashbacks either. What is a girl to do???

 

[Johnnz]

Memories remain, often deeply embedded. Have you received any help to address some of those bad times?

John
NZ

 

[raven1]

Well if your saying your daughters dad is the attacker. Is it really safe for your daughter to be around him. Kill two birds with one stone. Get him away from her and you.

 

[lilnicciebaby]

I have had help. I wish I could just keep him away but he has rights and has threaten to go to court and take her way if I do not let him see her. I always make sure that it is a supervised visit with my uncle around or something but I cannot keep him from seeing her. That is the boat I am in.

 

[ProverbsLady]

My heart aches for you. I understand the flashbacks and nightmares.

I've had amazing luck with mindfulness and meditation. Sometimes when I have an anxiety attack (which leads to nightmares, in my world), then I snap a rubber band around my wrist.
Sounds silly but it keeps me in the moment and how far I have come.

 

[MissRowy]

I had flashbacks after I was attacked in 2013. After about 6 months they stopped and i was able to be intimate with my partner and I could travel on a train without having a flashback. Now I can actually sit in the same spot of the train where it happened and not have a flashback.
Johnnz is right, you should consider counselling to help with the flashbacks

 

[Josie Adams]

Have you forgiven him?

 

[NewEnglandGirl]

I was attacked way back when I was in the military. It was by a man that was married, had a family and worked for the hospital I was in. I pressed charges right away as did several others who, as it turns out, were his victims also. My flashbacks "slept" for a number of years until they were "awakened" some time after. I was then forced to get help. I think we all have enduring scars. One has to pray for healing and strength. One also has to forgive one's attacker eventually. This doesn't mean that they shouldn't be punished or feel remorse for their act. What are your attacker's feelings about what he did?