Newsflash: YECs secure release of criminals

[jereth]

The nation is in an uproar today as Young Earth Creationists (YECs) succeed in a supreme court bid to release thousands of criminals from prison.

Thousands of rapists, murderers and other felons have had their convictions overturned, following a ruling that results of forensic science are inadmissible in a criminal trial.

The court case which led to the ruling was initiated by a popular YEC organisation, Evidence in Genesis (EiG). EiG strongly believes that science is totally unreliable at revealing past events.

"It is pure arrogance that a human scientist can presume to piece together the past," EiG spokesman Ken Bacon said in a media conference outside court. "The scientific method cannot be applied to historical events. By definition, science must be repeatable."

Prosecutors have come to depend heavily upon forensic science in the last few decades. Countless guilty verdicts have been secured through the scientific analysis of crime scenes and forensic evidence.

"Only God can reliably tell us about the past", commented Bacon. "Man's science is, at best, speculative and theoretical."

"How can you know that the past which you are analysing worked the same as our science lab today? That is the assumption forensic science makes, it is an utterly foolish and fallacious assumption. It is an evolutionary approach to science and we condemn it."

When asked about their success, Bacon said "This is a very pleasing result. It shows that we need to be careful how we view science, especially when it attempts to provide answers about past events which cannot be repeated."

Bacon told reporters that EiG has been motivated by this win to continue their campaign against "historical" or "origins" science. Their next aim is to remove the teaching of ancient history from public schools -- since much of ancient history depends upon scientific analysis of archeological finds.

Forensic scientists from the nation's leading criminology departments are planning to appeal the ruling.

- Ruuters

 

[Silent Bob]

You should send that to onion.

 

[gluadys]

Forensic scientists from the nation's leading criminology departments are planning to appeal the ruling.

- Ruuters

Isn't the supreme court the court of last appeal?

 

[shernren]

In further breaking news, EiG is mulling legal action against the Constitution's provisions for the legal system, citing its dependence on human rationality as defamation against God.

EiG spokesman Ken Bacon explains: "Real science is based on God's Word - any evidence that supports hypotheses contained therein is valid, while any evidence that appears not to must clearly be false. Considering all evidence fairly and objectively is a humanistic fallacy which assumes beforehand that man can discover anything independently of God. Of course, all evidence makes complete sense within their framework, but it makes more completely complete sense within our framework, and thus we are emboldened to try to extend our Scriptural philosophy to the courts."

"The jury system and the imposition of judges who judge apart from the Bible's clear words are clearly an insult to God by man who thinks that he is fit to judge without God. Man cannot find justice without God just as man cannot find science without God. Therefore we propose that the trial system should be incrementally supplanted by what we call the "test of faith" system - an intercessor shall be assigned to each case of suspected crime and if the intercessor believes that God's Word indicts the person then the person is guilty."

When asked how his group knew that they were correctly interpreting the Bible, Bacon replied, "We know that we have read the Word of God correctly because the Word of God says so."

Internal documents which were publicly released without the groups consent reveal a long-term strategy which also includes, among other points of action,

- replacing all doctors with "prayer warriors" and making medical research illegal, since Scripture only prescribes prayer for sickness
- creating universities for mental freedom from evolutionary mind-control, offering subjects like astrology and phrenology
- outlawing genetic algorithm research
- introducing "21-E - Contains unsuitable evolutionary assumptions" ratings for mass media information

"This is an extremely dangerous precedent," our resident legal advisor Kannot Mill'er comments. "They fail to take into consideration that the absolute truth they are trying to access must necessarily be heavily filtered by their preconceptions, the problem being exacerbated by the fact that they are totally ignorant of their preconceptions. This causes the extreme subjectivization of ideally objective truths like science and history, which affects the very nature of human knowledge itself. If they don't watch themselves they may create far more than just a constitutional crisis."

 

[aussie4god]

I think what everyone needs to remember here is that everyone has different viewpoints on YEC/OEC/TheEvo etc.

Personally, I am a YEC. However I do respect that some people have a different take on it. I base this belief of what the bible says and scientific evidence but you know what, I wasnt around at the time the earth was created so I cant say for sure (although I have prayed about it).

Anyways, I just thought I'd let you know that YEC's aren't a pack of raving lunies. We just have a different take on creation.

Hopefully we'll all sit back and discuss it in heaven.

God Bless

 

[rmwilliamsll]

Anyways, I just thought I'd let you know that YEC's aren't a pack of raving lunies. We just have a different take on creation.

well, enough of your fellow travellers are meshugeh thus tainting the whole group.
it is revealing that parodies of YECism are not detected as sarcasm but as real people's ideas. check out several here who argue, for instance, that the earth didn't revolve until Adam sinned.

 

[aussie4god]

Anyways, I just thought I'd let you know that YEC's aren't a pack of raving lunies. We just have a different take on creation.

well, enough of your fellow travellers are meshugeh thus tainting the whole group.
it is revealing that parodies of YECism are not detected as sarcasm but as real people's ideas. check out several here who argue, for instance, that the earth didn't revolve until Adam sinned.

There are some extremests out there with some really warped ideas. But to be honest you can pretty muchfind them in any and every group regardless of the topic.

Personally, I believe that the Bible is the word of God that I trust 100% and I just don't think science has been able to completely prove evolution 100%.

But yeah, some people can carry on a bit but I did pick up the fact thatt they were parodies. I just wanted to let you know that the majority of us YEC's are normal people.

God Bless

 

[gluadys]

I just don't think science has been able to completely prove evolution 100%.

And that might be because it doesn't try to. How can you prove anything 100% if you will never have 100% of the supporting evidence?

All scientists claim is that on the basis of currently available evidence, evolution is the best theory to explain it. It's not about proving anything 100%.

 

[aussie4god]

And that might be because it doesn't try to. How can you prove anything 100% if you will never have 100% of the supporting evidence?

quote]

I'm just not convinced. In fact all that is really provable is that life as we know it now came about very suddenly around 6-7k ago.

That being said, science isn't the main basis of my beliefs on origin. The Bible is purely where I derive my beliefs from.

 

[ChetSinger]

I'm appalled at the original post. Is this what passes for Christian discourse here?

 

[Willtor]

That being said, science isn't the main basis of my beliefs on origin. The Bible is purely where I derive my beliefs from.

I think that's dangerous. Although the Bible is the infallible authority in matters of faith, it can hardly be said that it is the only authority.

 

[rmwilliamsll]

In fact all that is really provable is that life as we know it now came about very suddenly around 6-7k ago.

provable?
on the basis of what evidence?

 

[rmwilliamsll]

Personally, I believe that the Bible is the word of God that I trust 100% and I just don't think science has been able to completely prove evolution 100%.

But yeah, some people can carry on a bit but I did pick up the fact thatt they were parodies. I just wanted to let you know that the majority of us YEC's are normal people.


1. science doesn't prove anything. it demonstrates evidence beyond reasonable doubt (using legal terminology).

2. my favorite YECist parody that was so good it fooled most everyone is the creationist science fair.

what is your opinion? parody or genuine?

dear sir

i recently read your creation science page at:
> http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html

i was informed that it is a parody like the Landover Baptist Church pages. From all indications of having read your site for over an hour now, this is a legitimate church related website, but i am still receiving emails that i have been duped into a sophisticated parody.

can you help?



from: http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html
found the link via: http://memepool.com
It however saddens me greatly that the proponents of Evolutionism have corrupted this true purpose of science and are instead using it as a propaganda tool to spread Secularism. But what is education for if not to fight against ignorance such as that? Our children are the future face of Science and we must teach them to recognize the truth of the Word of the Lord so as to break the cycle of Evolutionism dogma that is paralyzing scientific development and making higher education a dumping ground for the excesses of materialistic philosophies.
how do i even talk to people like this? what are this kids going to do when they hit university and find out that they have been lied to?

here are the high school winners:

1st Place: "Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria"

Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn't. The prayer was as follows: "Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen." The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics.

2nd Place: "Maximal Packing Of Rodentia Kinds: A Feasibility Study"

Jason Spinter's (grade 12) project was to show the feasibility of Noah's Ark using a Rodentia research model (made of a mixture of hamsters and gerbils) as a representative of diluvian life forms. The Rodentia were placed in a cage with dimensions proportional to a section of the Ark. The number of Rodentia used (58) was calculated using available Creation Science research and was based on the median animal size and their volumetric distribution in the Ark. The cage was also fitted with wooden dowls inserted at regular intervals through the cage walls, forming platforms which provided support for the Rodentia. Although there was little room left in the cage, all Rodentia were able to move just enough to ward off muscle atrophy. Food pellets and water were delivered to sub-surface Rodentia via plastic drinking straws inserted into the Rodentia-mass, which also served to allow internal air flow. Once a day, the cage was sprayed with water to cleanse any built-up waste. Additionally, the cage was suspended on bungie cords to simulate the rocking motion of a ship. The study lasted 30 days and 30 nights, with all Rodentia surviving at least long enough afterwards to allow for reproduction. These findings strongly suggest that Noah's Ark could hold and support representatives of all antediluvian animal kinds for the duration of the Flood and subsequent repopulation of the Earth.



i am horrified.
i am not posting this for them to be ridiculed, although i know some will.
but as an example of how really wrong people can be, this will be my proof that sincerity is never a mark of truth, these people are sincerely wrong.....

science deserves better, it has earned people's respect, with what it has accomplished, so have the countless numbers of scientists who work in the trenches studying this world that we have to share, somehow.

all i can do is shake my head and really really worry about my fellow co-religionists.

as always the research links

http://www.livejournal.com/users/shawnj/258061.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/amanda42/315797.html
http://www.notgeniuses.com/archives/000277.html

got 104 hits with: http://search.yahoo.com/search?p="F...on+Science+Fair+2001"⊂=Search&fr=fp-top
almost all blogs. the best comment was----- it is so believable, it could be true.

August 28, 2003
A Hotbed of Anti-Triclavianism
Objective: Christian Ministries is on the radar again due to its new campaign against the heresy of triclavianism (the belief that only three nails were employed in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ). Previously known for its campaign to shut down the arch-satirical Landover Baptist Church, as well as the shocking allegation that Apple Computer, Inc. is a 'front for evolutionism,' the site is so deadpan it may may seem real on first viewing, but in fact it's a spoof. (If you don't believe me, check out the products in its online store — the Ruby Matrimony Thong, for example — for clues as to just how serious these 'Christians' really are.)
from a really good site: http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/a/021969.htm

got 386 hits referring back to the original page i quoted: http://objective.jesussave.us/creationsciencefair.html
i'm not the only dupe, check out:
http://humaniststudies.org/enews/n20030723.html who report it as a news event.

from: http://blogs.salon.com/0001092/2003/07/25.html

A detailed and clever parody of "Christian Science" has been discussed in detail on the mailing lists of the National Association of Science Writers in the past week. One of the most amusing parts is the Creation Science Fair.

The "prizes" for elementary school Christian Science Fair projects go to topics such as "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)", "Pine Cones Are Complicated", and "Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False".

The guestbook entries are worth reading to see how many people believe the site is real...

from the comments on the site, which you really ought to browse:

If your Creation Science Fair link is any serious representation of "creation science", I would come to the conclusion that the whole of the exhibit has very little to do with science and/or serious intellectual pursuits. But your zealousness is admirable. which interestingly is almost exactly what i said above.

in closing, the 'prayer book' comments are for real- thanks for several hours of laughter, but you really do have too much time on your hands. the real sadness is that it is almost believable. is mine.

the oldest reference i can find is to mid july, the guest book is back to mid august:
http://www.thetalentshow.org/archives/000267.html

the NASW chat on the creation science page starts at:
http://lists.nasw.org/pipermail/nasw-chat/2003-July/000599.html



so yes it is a parody....gotta me.

i don't know how many of the links still work. but you can use the wayback machine to find them anyhow.

 

[depthdeception]

I'm just not convinced. In fact all that is really provable is that life as we know it now came about very suddenly around 6-7k ago.

And what "proof" do you have for this?

 

[gluadys]

I'm just not convinced.

Yes, that's more honest. And usually the people who are not convinced are those that are least familiar with the evidence.

In fact all that is really provable is that life as we know it now came about very suddenly around 6-7k ago.

Even if we limit ourselves to modern species, we can go a good deal farther back than that. Our own species goes back over 100,000 years. And the first evidence of life goes back 3.8 billion years.

That being said, science isn't the main basis of my beliefs on origin. The Bible is purely where I derive my beliefs from.

Science is my primary source of knowledge on origins. The bible is a primary source of my faith on origins. I don't find them incompatible.

 

[Mallon]

I'm appalled at the original post. Is this what passes for Christian discourse here?

It thought it was comedic gold. It might be construed as offensive if those very same arguments were falsely attributed to YECists. But they're not!
I don't know whether to or .

 

[Silent Bob]

I'm appalled at the original post. Is this what passes for Christian discourse here?

Actually it raises some obvious objections to the YEC mantra that if you are not there you cannot know. When that logic is applied to justice this is exactly what you will get.

 

[jereth]

I'm appalled at the original post. Is this what passes for Christian discourse here?

apologies for any offence caused. I assure you none was intended.

Sometimes satire is very useful to make a point.

 

[chaoschristian]

I'm appalled at the original post. Is this what passes for Christian discourse here?

A time of great offense is a banner that ushers in a time of deep reflection.

 

[shernren]

Another thing to note is the subversion of a genre assumed to have historical significance (news report) to relate an obviously non-historical event. How does one know that jereth's and my simulated news reports are not actually describing real events? We cannot determine from the information system alone whether or not they are real events; namely, the information system is underdetermined.

To determine whether this apparently historical narrative is describing real events, one has to examine other records to see if the event has taken place. The information type of the system can only be determined by referring to an external reality within which the system is embedded.

This is an important point to note for YECs. Even if Genesis 1 was a historical-genre writing (which many believe it is not), that would not automatically validate their version of the creation of the cosmos.