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Newly weds and couples do this, and it is very annoying

WhereHeLeadsMe

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ME ME ME ME ME ME!! Thats the only thing your saying. First of all, "Thou shalt not JUDGE!" I figured that would come up at some point once someone questioned your attitude or your actions. Your acting like a little kid. You need to grow up and act like an adult and stop blaming everyone and everything else for your problems and insufficiency's in your life. You shouldnt be dependent on your friends for happiness and its VERY apparent that you are. Stop trying to manage your friends lives and work on your own. Im not trying to be mean. But if you want to talk about judging then look at the accusations your making towards your friends. Go back and read your own post #19 where you said loving our neighbors as ourselves means putting our wants and desires LAST. Dont you think that applies to you too?
 
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Echoespeak006

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The issue is simply that there are 24 hours in a day. In general a new spouse or SO is someone they want to spend quite a bit of time with. It doesn't mean that they don't want to spend time with you anymore, but relationships take a lot of time and effort -- particularly in the beginning stages -- so of course the time they are going to spend with you is going to go down. It's just part of life, and it's not necessarily a bad part.

I expect that when my friends get into relationships. Give them some space, and then invite them both to something. When things are more settled for the couple, you'll get one-on-one time again, but probably never to the extent that you once had.

Exactly.

Like I said before....probably TWICE at this point, nothing should replace God as your foundation, but you do have to cut people slack. When individuals are starting a relationship, they are going to be more focused on their S.O. And if we're talking about newlyweds, dude, they are so going to be focused on each other for awhile. It's just the nature of life.
 
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mina

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If you want to spend more time with a certian friend, tell them or invite them to lunch or the movies or just to hang out. Sometimes they might not be aware that they are excluding other friends in light of their romantic relationship. I certianly have had freinds that as soon as they became romantically attached, dropped me as their friend. One girl I was really good friends with told me as soon as she got engaged that we could be friends anymore b/c I wouldn't understand her and she didn't want to hang out with me if I had no b/f or SO. Um ok, that made sense. To some degree I think it's natural and understandable to spend more time with someone you are dating, but no one should have to be ugly to their other friends about it. When I was dating someone and when I do again, I'll spend more time with that person just because I'll like being around him and it's natural to do so.
 
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Musician4Jesus

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If you want to spend more time with a certian friend, tell them or invite them to lunch or the movies or just to hang out. Sometimes they might not be aware that they are excluding other friends in light of their romantic relationship. I certianly have had freinds that as soon as they became romantically attached, dropped me as their friend. One girl I was really good friends with told me as soon as she got engaged that we could be friends anymore b/c I wouldn't understand her and she didn't want to hang out with me if I had no b/f or SO. Um ok, that made sense. To some degree I think it's natural and understandable to spend more time with someone you are dating, but no one should have to be ugly to their other friends about it. When I was dating someone and when I do again, I'll spend more time with that person just because I'll like being around him and it's natural to do so.
Maybe because the Bible says (more specifically, Christ, OUR SAVIOR said) "do not judge, or you will also be judged"

Also, no, not being selfish. The only reason I am speaking from my perspective is because this has happened in my life. Cannot speak on the behalf of others, because their life is not mine; so who else would do so, my cat? The bottom line is, this does happen, and it causes problems. Any time you put another relationship as more important then others, it will end up hurting your other relationships due to neglecting them.

No, not dependent on relationships with others for happiness. Learning to find joy in God and not circumstances. Also if you fall into the trap of exalting relationships with people to this stature of grandeur, then you will be sorely disappointed, because human love is conditional, selfish, and then we put unfair and unrealistic standards on our relationships.

For your information, you don't know really have the right to say that I'm doing nothing to change my problems (implied it) when I am. You also implied that I'm not acknoweldging the problems I have in my life, when I have, and due to God's grace, I now know the root of these problems. Seeing how you don't me, don't do God's job for him.....
 
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Musician4Jesus

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Another thing, not blaming anybody for my problems. I know the sins that are present in my life, not going to blame others because I fail to repent from sin. I take responsibility for my action.

So far, everybody has minimized this, and made it sound like it's not a big deal, even though it can cause problems in your relationships with others.
 
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Musician4Jesus

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Oh, and do you know anything about spiritual gifts? One of them is the gift of prophecy, in which God reveals the sins in the lives of others to you. Don't ask me why he gave me the gift of prophecy, but obviously, he saw it fit to do so for me. I will trust God, because he knows what he is doing.....
 
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S.T.A.R.S.

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I'm also trying to be happy for them, but I've been receiving the short end of the stick with romances and with life in general. All I've received is adversity, rejection, and persecution. I wish I could have my turn. Have the desires of my heart that God has placed there, fulfilled. Yes, wait on God's timing; but can't something, just once in my life come easy? Every goal I've ever wanted to accomplish, I've had to work twice as hard as the people I know to accomplish it



Musician4Jesus,

Please forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn (because I don't know you) but the problem seems to be within. Your statement in post #12 seems to display traits of jealousy and envy.
Let's just say, in order to get to the root of the problem, that your friend really is in the wrong for what's going on. Your comment also exposes somethings within yourself. Additionally, having the gift of prophecy, one must not have jealousy or envy because they will see things in "other peoples" lives that they don't have or may want. How will you feel if God told you that someone you know will fulfill the desires of their hearts, concerning a mate, without any struggles to get them?
Sometimes God allow things to happen to us to expose things that we need to work out in ourselves.
 
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JPPT1974

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Inperfected

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Oh, and do you know anything about spiritual gifts? One of them is the gift of prophecy, in which God reveals the sins in the lives of others to you.

No further comments in this thread really unless it relates to this post I make.

I also believe Ihave a gift of prophecy. However, God will use that gift to build up others not pull them down. That pulling down is the only impresssion I'm getting from your behavious.
 
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Musician4Jesus

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No further comments in this thread really unless it relates to this post I make.

I also believe Ihave a gift of prophecy. However, God will use that gift to build up others not pull them down. That pulling down is the only impresssion I'm getting from your behavious.
The gift of prophecy I also possess. It is meant to encourage, it also has another trait to it. The Holy Spirit reveals to you sin in the lives of others. Then, the Holy Spirit convicts you of that, and to try and help them. Sometimes, that involves pointing out their sin. Fyi, who are you to say that I don't know the sin I have in my life? I'm full aware of what sins I'm struggling with. Jesus says to look at the plank in your own eye before you try and take the speck out of the eye of your brother/sister. It angers me when married couples do this (and I'm not saying all, I'm just saying the majority do, based on experience I've had with this type of situation). The reason it angers me is it ends up causing pain, sorrow, feelings of rejection, like the person is not good enough to associate with the person who is just content with allowing the relatioship to drift. To me, it's also implying that the person who is allowing the relationship to drift does not care about the person or the relationship they have with the person. Actions speak louder then words; if you truly love and care about the relationships you have with ppl, then you put time and effort into them to maintain them. This is why I think it is an extremely foolish move to allow any relationship (except the one you have with God) to monopolize your life. It throws the other relationships off kilter, hurt feelings occur and pain and sorrow occurs. Like I said, when married people do this, it is selfish. Last time I checked, being selfish is sin. All I want is to talk to my friends every now and then (I don't think once a week is too much to ask or even once every other week, which is two times per month). I don't think it's wrong for them to return contact with me. Excuse me for being lonely, but seeing how singles are not in romances, loneliness is an issue for us that married ppl don't struggle with nearly as much because romantically, you have a mate, which means companionship. I attempt to make friends my age; every single time I develop a new friendship and it starts to become close, the person ends up going to college out of state. Most of the ppl who are my age are in college and in a romantic relationship/in a serious relationship. God has called me to ministry, as a missionary to share the love of Christ through music is also tied in with that. I've been preparing myself musically for the past year and a half; however, I'm at a complete loss of how he wants me to prepare myself to be a missionary. College will be a struggle to pay for, and I've no clue how I'll afford 4 years of it. I would love to become involved in a missionary program, because I want to be a missionary full time and as a career. However, most of the programs I've heard about say you have to have training and completion of college in order to be eligible to apply for them. So, I cannot think of any option in order to prepare myself with this except college, and I've no clue how I'll pay for it or get there....
 
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Musician4Jesus

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The gift of prophecy I also possess. It is meant to encourage, it also has another trait to it. The Holy Spirit reveals to you sin in the lives of others. Then, the Holy Spirit convicts you of that, and to try and help them. Sometimes, that involves pointing out their sin. Fyi, who are you to say that I don't know the sin I have in my life? I'm full aware of what sins I'm struggling with. Jesus says to look at the plank in your own eye before you try and take the speck out of the eye of your brother/sister. It angers me when married couples do this (and I'm not saying all, I'm just saying the majority do, based on experience I've had with this type of situation). The reason it angers me is it ends up causing pain, sorrow, feelings of rejection, like the person is not good enough to associate with the person who is just content with allowing the relatioship to drift. To me, it's also implying that the person who is allowing the relationship to drift does not care about the person or the relationship they have with the person. Actions speak louder then words; if you truly love and care about the relationships you have with ppl, then you put time and effort into them to maintain them. This is why I think it is an extremely foolish move to allow any relationship (except the one you have with God) to monopolize your life. It throws the other relationships off kilter, hurt feelings occur and pain and sorrow occurs. Like I said, when married people do this, it is selfish. Last time I checked, being selfish is sin. All I want is to talk to my friends every now and then (I don't think once a week is too much to ask or even once every other week, which is two times per month). I don't think it's wrong for them to return contact with me. Excuse me for being lonely, but seeing how singles are not in romances, loneliness is an issue for us that married ppl don't struggle with nearly as much because romantically, you have a mate, which means companionship. I attempt to make friends my age; every single time I develop a new friendship and it starts to become close, the person ends up going to college out of state. Most of the ppl who are my age are in college and in a romantic relationship/in a serious relationship. God has called me to ministry, as a missionary to share the love of Christ through music is also tied in with that. I've been preparing myself musically for the past year and a half; however, I'm at a complete loss of how he wants me to prepare myself to be a missionary. College will be a struggle to pay for, and I've no clue how I'll afford 4 years of it. I would love to become involved in a missionary program, because I want to be a missionary full time and as a career. However, most of the programs I've heard about say you have to have training and completion of college in order to be eligible to apply for them. So, I cannot think of any option in order to prepare myself with this except college, and I've no clue how I'll pay for it or get there....
What angers the heart of God angers me. When ppl just think about what they desire before thinking of the needs of others, that is being selfish, which is sin, and sin always has consequences. You are to love your neighbor as yourself. Yes, you are to love yourself, however you are to think of the needs of others before your own, which means thinking about what kind of an impact your actions will have before you commit them. Which means, before you start obssessing over your romance because you're so in love, think about how it will impact the relationships you have with others in your life who also love and care about you and cherish the relationship they have with you.
 
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