New widower

[nanajojothatsme]

Hi, I'm new to this forum
I lost my husband nearly 4 months ago - he had been fighting cancer for 5 years.
We have 2 girls, and we'd been married for 11 years.
I'm glad he's free of all pain and suffering and he's now with the Lord forever. But I miss him so much and feel quite lost at the moment

so young I assume, does not matter how old , it still is grievance and loss, I hope you stay around and there is alot to do on here if you look around .

 

[Rememberme]

Wolfee I am so sorry for your great loss.Know that you are not alone in this. We here have all felt your pain and lean on the Lord which is a challenge at times.Being left left with children has an added challenge.My husband died this past Sept. so it is still fresh to me also although it is getting somewhat better.I understand the suffering part that is very hard to watch.The missing part is hard.After all you were one flesh and it has just been ripped apart.Your love will never die for him.We have a wonderful promise from the Lord we get to see their faces again.As you know.We are left here going through this and you wonder why. Just know your Father does care.Just before my husband died I heard a voice say "I am taking you".I did not understand at the time but the Lord is our husband and he will take us and care for us just like your husband took you the day you were married.(((((((((hugs))))))))

 

[wolfee]

Hi, thanks for your reply, God bless you

 

[wolfee]

Hi, thanks for your reply, and so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. Thank you for your encouragement and God bless

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Sorry to hear of your loss
I lost my husband nearly 4 months ago - he had been fighting cancer for 5 years.
We have 2 girls, and we'd been married for 11 years.
I'm glad he's free of all pain and suffering and he's now with the Lord forever. But I miss him so much and feel quite lost at the moment

I totally understand how you feel! . I too am glad my husband is not suffering anymore, but I also wish I had him here to help me raise our boys. God's plan is definitely different and I'm sure His reason is perfect, so I will continue on until He comes.

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

There's no right way to grieve; allow yourself time. My pastor at the time said two years. When first widowed I cried to the Lord, and through tears I experienced glory in tribulation; yes, He was right there with me, and still is.

My husband was amazing. While the pain of losing him has diminished, the memory lives. It's been 8 years. I think that I'm ready to meet someone now as I'm a 59-years-young widow, but that person must be special. There's no rush because Jesus is my Husband, and will always be first in my life.

My condolences.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I don't think there is any time limit on grieving either. Anyone who puts a time limit on it obviously has not gone thru it themselves and if they have, then they are basing it on their experience which may be different for someone else.

 

[LPetal]

I hope my first post didn't come across as preachy or like I have this grieving situation totally conquered. I am experiencing what an empty house feels like. I know loneliness, sadness, etc. I shed a lot of tears and "wish" I could wake up and none of this is real, but I have to realize - it is what it is , and I have to be mindful of how I handle it. Before I became a christian, I was an alchoholic and heavy drug abuser. The Lord delivered me from that mess and I have been clean and sober for over 24 years. If I do not stay close to Him at this time, it would be easy for the enemy to draw me back into that mess, because on my own I am in a weakened state.But like I had previously said , I had the privilege of being married to a bible believing, bible talking , wonderful lady for twenty years. She helped teach me that I am what the bible says I am and I can have and do what the Word of God says-it belongs to us christians.That is why I use scripture to help with these feelings. It brings comfort ,deliverence and protection.Not all feelings are bad , but sometimes they can lead to destructive behavior etc. God is mindful of our sorrows. He wants us to overcome and he wants us happy. He has already done and provided everything we will ever need- including peace and healing. It is in His Word and in taking time to fellowship with Him. The Word says "God IS love. As christians, we are not blessed because we have our needs(spirit, soul,and body) met by our Father God. The truth is we receive all these things because we are blessed. It is all part of the Blood Covenant. The blessings all the way back to the beginning have b een restored to us. When depression etc try to overtake you, pick up your bible and read it out loud to those feelings. Your situation will change.God is for us . For a long time He has gotten blame for what the enemy did. Really the only power the enemy has over a born again spirit filled believer is to influence our thoughts and get us to speak and act in agreement with them. The Word tells us to call things that are not as if they were. So even when we feel aweful, if we begin to thank God -not for the problem- but that He provides a way out , we will see it come to pass. When we are full of sadness, we can say, "the JOY of the LORD is my strength. We are not denying the sadness, but we are choosing life and believing God and His Word for the situation to change. I hope you hear my heart. I am going through the same thing as you and just want to share what changed and continues to change my life.

yes, I understand. I find this new status very lonely and hard. I need someone to eat with and to relate to, I've lost all of that with my husband's death.

 

[wolfee]

Thank you

 

[LPetal]

As if it wasn't bad enough, now our pastor, who I've relied on and who knows me really really well, suffered an emergent stomach bleed on Thursday night, and is lying in hospital awaiting a diagnosis. This type of bleed could have killed him - it was bowls and bowls of blood and he's been passing dark tarry stools since Thursday. He's being biopsied, please pray for him. Now I have no one for support b/c at best it's a perforating ulcer so he won't be able to cope w/the same stress or help as many people or as much... at worst it could be malignant. I am totally devastated. I feel silly crying over my pastor Cathal, when my husband's died, but as a Facebook friend pointed out - Cathal is worth the tears. I miss my husband Eddie so so much, I sat and cried at the grave for 1.1/2 hours yesterday.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I DO hope the best for your pastor and it is NOT silly to cry over him. It can be hard to distinguish which tears are for who and it does not matter. God knows and that is all. If you need to cry, you need to cry and there is nothing wrong with it. It can't fix your situation and may not even make you feel any better, but sometimes it's all you can do. If I were closer, I would be your support. I can be your support here, of course, but I know we need people in real life at these times too. There are just no words good enough to make us feel any better and we just have to believe that God does have a plan in all this, somewhere. to you!

 

[LPetal]

well, I don't like His plan

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

well, I don't like His plan

I totally understand

 

[LPetal]

thx

 

[Rememberme]

As if it wasn't bad enough, now our pastor, who I've relied on and who knows me really really well, suffered an emergent stomach bleed on Thursday night, and is lying in hospital awaiting a diagnosis. This type of bleed could have killed him - it was bowls and bowls of blood and he's been passing dark tarry stools since Thursday. He's being biopsied, please pray for him. Now I have no one for support b/c at best it's a perforating ulcer so he won't be able to cope w/the same stress or help as many people or as much... at worst it could be malignant. I am totally devastated. I feel silly crying over my pastor Cathal, when my husband's died, but as a Facebook friend pointed out - Cathal is worth the tears. I miss my husband Eddie so so much, I sat and cried at the grave for 1.1/2 hours yesterday.

Oh I am so sorry to hear LPetal.I will be praying for the best for your Pastor.I know you probably feel cried out by now.I wonder what would happen to us if we could not release all of that pain? Yesterday,Sunday, was hard for me also.Sundays seem so long and hard.Please do let us know what happens.Praying for healing and a good report.

 

[theoneleftbehind]

I just lost my wife 6 weeks ago. We were married for almost 14 years and together for almost 20 years. We are/were both 36 years old and it happened very unexpectedly. I keep hearing people say they struggle with the sadness and depression and hurt that I am feeling for a year or two. How do you make it that long. I have only been at it for 6 weeks and sometimes I don't feel like I can go another day hurting so bad and I want the pain to stop but I don't think it ever will. And before people start saying it, yes, I have been averaging 4 chapters in the Bible a day and praying several times a day and yes it helps, but mostly only a little. I know people say just take it minute by minute and day by day, but I have three little kids and that doesn't make it easy to do that. I know there are no answers, that doesn't help either. Just don't know how to keep going sometimes.

The pain never goes away but you learn to cope with it I lost my wife 4 years ago and most days it feels like it was yesterday for me I'm just ticking days off the calendar I have nothing to live for I just wish The Lord would take me sorry if this is no help we are individuals it takes as long as it takes