I have been reading on this site for a few weeks now. I am so glad I can read about others who have lost their spouse and are christians. My husband went to be with the lord July 27, 2008. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in april. I prayed that he would be healed, but God took him home. He was ready, but he did not want to leave me. He knew I would have a hard time. I told him it was alright and I would be ok. But I am not. I almost had a nervous break down and had to be put on a mild anti depressant. I pray every day that the lord will give me strength and he has, but it is still hard. I miss him so much. We were married forty years and have four grown children who serve the lord. I have a lot to be thankful for. My pastor gave me a book called Heaven by Randy Alcorn. It has been a great help and makes me feel closer to my husband and the lord.
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new widow
- Thread starter sadheart
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Welcome, Sadheart!
Our journeys in widowhood started pretty close to each other, but you were first. July 27 was a few days before my dh went into hospital for the last time. When your dh was diagnosed, was he told then that he is terminal, or was there a plan in place to try treatments?
Yeah; I think my dh felt the same way yours did; that he was ready to go if God called him, but he did not want to leave me. I only had 8 hours to know he was terminal, and I got almost no response from him then, because he was too weak to talk. Yeah; I too am trusting in the Lord, but there are still some very hard moments.
Friends from church gave me that same book, and it's been helpful. Keep on trusting in our God; I don't know how I'd make it otherwise.
Our journeys in widowhood started pretty close to each other, but you were first. July 27 was a few days before my dh went into hospital for the last time. When your dh was diagnosed, was he told then that he is terminal, or was there a plan in place to try treatments? Yeah; I think my dh felt the same way yours did; that he was ready to go if God called him, but he did not want to leave me. I only had 8 hours to know he was terminal, and I got almost no response from him then, because he was too weak to talk. Yeah; I too am trusting in the Lord, but there are still some very hard moments.
Friends from church gave me that same book, and it's been helpful. Keep on trusting in our God; I don't know how I'd make it otherwise.
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We were told in April that he had the cancer. We did not want to know the time frame, but from research on the internet, we knew it was not good. He was in a drug study which had shrunk his tumor in half. We thought the lord was going to heal him but his liver was not working very well. He had verices from the tumor being around his sma artery. His blood pressure started falling on July 17, so I took him to the hospital thinking he would come back home and be alright. While in the hospital he started bleeding so they did surgery on the verices. That went great but his blood pressure kept dropping so the Doctors said we needed to go home with hopice. I thought he would live at least a few more months but he went to be with the lord two days after coming home. Our whole family was there with him. He went to be with the lord on Sun day morning after I hugged him and told him to go meet the lord, I will be there soon. He stared bleeding after we came home and I wanted to take him back to the hospital but he did not want to go. I told himm that he would meet the lord soon, he said he is ready. Everywhere I look and go he is there. Sometimes I think I am in a dream. I loved him so much,he was a wonderful husband. He always put others before himself. After he was diagnosed he sang I am a winner either way. It is a beautiful song. He played the quitar and sang so I have cd's tihe him singing. He worked in the shephards class at church. He also wrote a song called I am heaven bound and wanted our four children to sing it at his funeral. My husband was 61. I am 56 so I have spent my whole adult life with him.
What type of cancer did you husband have? Do you have children?
What type of cancer did you husband have? Do you have children?
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He had Hodgkins; cancer of the lymph nodes. It took a LONG time to diagnose, and once it was, it was stage 4. So we knew there was a chance, and there were plans put in place to being chemo as soon as he was strong enough, with enough blood transfusions. Though we knew that it would be at least 6 months of the chemo. But he died only 3 weeks after the diagnosis; 5 days after the first, and only chemo he was able to receive.
No; we did not have children. Just a dog, who is very much a comfort to me. We are/were a lot younger than you; I'm 36 and he was 32. We were married for 7 1/2 years.
I Am a Winner Either Way, it sounds like a good song. Do you know who wrote it? When his sister had cancer a few years ago(it was only stage 1, and she survived, and no recurrence so far) she said something similar; that whether she lived or died, she had nothing to lose. And I agree. But we are the ones who are the "losers" here.
No; we did not have children. Just a dog, who is very much a comfort to me. We are/were a lot younger than you; I'm 36 and he was 32. We were married for 7 1/2 years.
I Am a Winner Either Way, it sounds like a good song. Do you know who wrote it? When his sister had cancer a few years ago(it was only stage 1, and she survived, and no recurrence so far) she said something similar; that whether she lived or died, she had nothing to lose. And I agree. But we are the ones who are the "losers" here.
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This is the song that my husband always sang after he was diagnosed.
I am so sorry that you did not have longer with your husband. Even having 40nyears, I feel cheated and so do my grown children. I ask myself if it would have been better if we never met and got married. I would not have this pain. I would rather have had the 40 years than nothing at all. I am thankful that the lord gave me a good marriage, christian husband and family. It is very hard because I miss him so much.
Tonight at church I met a lady who accidently ran over her 14 month old grandchild. I realized from this and reading on this site that I should be thankful for everything God has done in my life. Your husband was my oldest sons age. I can,t imagine him having cancer. I have two sons and two daughters. I also have 12 grandchildren, I have a lot to be thankful for. I also can,t wait to see my husband in Heaven. I can,t wait for the lord to come back. I wanted to die with my husband but God has something for me to do.
WINNER EITHER WAY by The Inspirations
1)
A LOVED ONE KNEW HE'D REACHED THE END OF LIFE'S JOURNEY,
BUT HE'D BEEN HOLDING TO GOD'S HAND A LONG, LONG TIME
AND AS I KNELT BESIDE HIS BED,
MY HEART WAS THRILLED AT WHAT HE SAID,"
IF I GO, OR IF I STAY, THE VICTORY IS MINE."
CHORUS)
I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY, IF I GO OR IF I STAY
FOR I'LL STILL HAVE MY JESUS EACH PASSING DAY
I'LL HAVE MY HEALING HERE BELOW, OR LIFE FOREVER IF I GO OH PRAISE THE LORD, I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY.
2)
NONE OF US REALLY KNOWS ABOUT TOMORROW,
WE MUST PREPARE TO GO TO HEAVEN ANYDAY
BUT WHILE WE'RE HERE LET'S TRUST THE LORD,
HE'LL LEAD US SAFE TO OUR REWARD
AND BY HIS GRACE, WE'LL BE A WINNER EITHER WAY
CHORUS)
I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY, IF I GO OR IF I STAY
FOR I'LL STILL HAVE MY JESUS EACH PASSING DAY
I'LL HAVE MY HEALING HERE BELOW, OR LIFE FOREVER IF I GO OH PRAISE THE LORD, I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY.
God Bless You
Chris
I am so sorry that you did not have longer with your husband. Even having 40nyears, I feel cheated and so do my grown children. I ask myself if it would have been better if we never met and got married. I would not have this pain. I would rather have had the 40 years than nothing at all. I am thankful that the lord gave me a good marriage, christian husband and family. It is very hard because I miss him so much.
Tonight at church I met a lady who accidently ran over her 14 month old grandchild. I realized from this and reading on this site that I should be thankful for everything God has done in my life. Your husband was my oldest sons age. I can,t imagine him having cancer. I have two sons and two daughters. I also have 12 grandchildren, I have a lot to be thankful for. I also can,t wait to see my husband in Heaven. I can,t wait for the lord to come back. I wanted to die with my husband but God has something for me to do.
WINNER EITHER WAY by The Inspirations
1)
A LOVED ONE KNEW HE'D REACHED THE END OF LIFE'S JOURNEY,
BUT HE'D BEEN HOLDING TO GOD'S HAND A LONG, LONG TIME
AND AS I KNELT BESIDE HIS BED,
MY HEART WAS THRILLED AT WHAT HE SAID,"
IF I GO, OR IF I STAY, THE VICTORY IS MINE."
CHORUS)
I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY, IF I GO OR IF I STAY
FOR I'LL STILL HAVE MY JESUS EACH PASSING DAY
I'LL HAVE MY HEALING HERE BELOW, OR LIFE FOREVER IF I GO OH PRAISE THE LORD, I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY.
2)
NONE OF US REALLY KNOWS ABOUT TOMORROW,
WE MUST PREPARE TO GO TO HEAVEN ANYDAY
BUT WHILE WE'RE HERE LET'S TRUST THE LORD,
HE'LL LEAD US SAFE TO OUR REWARD
AND BY HIS GRACE, WE'LL BE A WINNER EITHER WAY
CHORUS)
I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY, IF I GO OR IF I STAY
FOR I'LL STILL HAVE MY JESUS EACH PASSING DAY
I'LL HAVE MY HEALING HERE BELOW, OR LIFE FOREVER IF I GO OH PRAISE THE LORD, I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY.
God Bless You
Chris
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I don't feel that way at all; in this case it definitely is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. My life is richer because of having been his wife; even if for this short time. If I would do it again, that has yet to be decided. But definitely not anytime soon.
Thanks for the song lyrics.
Thanks for the song lyrics.
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Yes you are so right. I am glad we had the time that we did have. God has been good. My husband also wrote a song to be sang at his funeral. I will have to get the words for you. He played the guitar and sang. I have many cds of his so I listen to them at night. I will pray that the lord will be with you and help you with the pain also. I do not ever plan on marrying again. I will fill my life with my children , grandchildren and work for the lord. I can,t wait for the return of Jesus.
God Bless you
Chris
God Bless you
Chris
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