New to this

[Silly]

I am a single 49/female.......No children, no family and I am feeling rather lonely. Have been divorced around 7 yrs now, and just can't seem to GET IT TOGETHER!

Even after all this time, I have no direction and feel like time is passing me by quickly. One thing about having kids or being married it gives u a sense of belonging, love, and acceptance. I just don't have that, and lately I have been questioning my belonging to God.

Is it natural for a single woman with no children or family to feel like this? And not know "who she is" or have a life plan for herself? I am thinking NOT.

Can anyone understand this? Or is there anyone out there in my shoes?

Thank You, K

 

[Jenster]

Hi K! Welcome to CF and welcome to the Mature Singles! We're glad you're here.

I can relate to what you're saying about feeling adrift. I haven't been divorced, and I'm younger, but I also find myself thinking "who do I belong to?" or "what am I a part of?" Also, "where the heck am I going?"

For the first part of my life, as a young adult, I was easily occupied by a variety of activities, people, etc. At mid-life, I feel I must choose more wisely. I find myself trying to pursue everything, as I've done for years, and realizing I'm coming up with very little. (Hey, can a grown adult be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder? lol. ) Seriously, sometimes I feel like I'm making attempts at this and that and just spinning around in circles.

But I do encourage you to believe that you belong to GOD. "For lo, I am with you ALWAYS, even unto the end of the age," Jesus said (Matthew 28:20). He loves us all very much.

So that's one silver lining of being at this stage -- without spouse or children. It is a time to grow close to the Lord. I believe not many people have the deep zeal for God that is possible, because we don't devote much time to Him. We try to keep one foot firmly planted in the world, and, at least for myself, all too often give leftover thoughts to the Lord. And yet He promises an abundant life, a true joy and a unsurpassing peace to those who place Him first in their lives!

I do want to marry. I'd like to have kids (well, at least one... ). Most of that is my responsibility, to get out and meet people. And then, there's praying about it.

So for me -- and maybe you as well? -- this period of time is a chance to figure out how I want to 'do' the rest of my life. What habits do I want to establish? What kinds of things do I want to spend my time doing - and what do I need to leave behind? What kind of person do I still want to become? What qualities and character traits do I want to nourish?

I do believe the best is yet to come. But it will take some work, and trusting in the Lord's guidance, to have the most fruitful life possible.

If you haven't found the Fab 40's forum, K, you might also stop in there. Cool people there too.

 

[Silly]

Hi K! Welcome to CF and welcome to the Mature Singles! We're glad you're here.

I can relate to what you're saying about feeling adrift. I haven't been divorced, and I'm younger, but I also find myself thinking "who do I belong to?" or "what am I a part of?" Also, "where the heck am I going?"

For the first part of my life, as a young adult, I was easily occupied by a variety of activities, people, etc. At mid-life, I feel I must choose more wisely. I find myself trying to pursue everything, as I've done for years, and realizing I'm coming up with very little. (Hey, can a grown adult be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder? lol. ) Seriously, sometimes I feel like I'm making attempts at this and that and just spinning around in circles.

But I do encourage you to believe that you belong to GOD. "For lo, I am with you ALWAYS, even unto the end of the age," Jesus said (Matthew 28:20). He loves us all very much.

So that's one silver lining of being at this stage -- without spouse or children. It is a time to grow close to the Lord. I believe not many people have the deep zeal for God that is possible, because we don't devote much time to Him. We try to keep one foot firmly planted in the world, and, at least for myself, all too often give leftover thoughts to the Lord. And yet He promises an abundant life, a true joy and a unsurpassing peace to those who place Him first in their lives!

I do want to marry. I'd like to have kids (well, at least one... ). Most of that is my responsibility, to get out and meet people. And then, there's praying about it.

So for me -- and maybe you as well? -- this period of time is a chance to figure out how I want to 'do' the rest of my life. What habits do I want to establish? What kinds of things do I want to spend my time doing - and what do I need to leave behind? What kind of person do I still want to become? What qualities and character traits do I want to nourish?

I do believe the best is yet to come. But it will take some work, and trusting in the Lord's guidance, to have the most fruitful life possible.

If you haven't found the Fab 40's forum, K, you might also stop in there. Cool people there too.

Thank you for your encouragement, I was told about this site from another, so I will go ahead and post on the 40's site as well.......TY

 

[mwb]

You came to the right place, silly.

We're all trying to figure it out so you're not alone.

 

[covenantwmn]

Welcome, glad you're here, ditto to mwb.

 

[country woman]

Hi Silly welcome to the msf. I too am single, but I have a 21 year old daughter still living at home. I get lonely some times.

 

[Craft]

Welcome to Mature singles The only advice I can offer is to enjoy yourself and never give up

 

[GritsnGrace]

Hi Silly,

I know exactly how you feel, I have been divorce twice, the last one being 17 years ago. I haven't dated, because #1, I had kids to raise, and I didn't want to confuse them any more than they already were, and #2, I didn't want to chance winding up with another like ex #2.(that one almost did me in, literally)
For the last 26 years I have been 'someones mother', before that, someones sister, etc. I have never really had my own identity. Oh, I trusted God, I just didn't trust me. Well, my kids are grown and gone, and no one to depend on me but the cat. I am now in the process of finding out who I am, and what I want out of life. I have never had time to think about it before.
I pray that you can figure out who you are! And remember...God is in control!!

 

[faithopelove]

Silly,

I to am 49 and new to this sight. I have a 24 year old son who until recently was estranged from me and God so I know loneliness (and rejection). I find alot of comfort in meditating on trusting God when I feel lonely or discouraged. I would love to communicate with you.

 

[Silly]

I really appreciate the kind words and encouragement from everyone....I love this sight, what a group of wonderful people here.