New to the group

[SunnyPat]

Hi from Sunnyside Washington,
I retired from teaching 3 years ago. I`m glad I did as I had that time to spend with my husband. Ray recently died of a massive heart attack. He died on December the 1st. of 2007.We were married for 38 years. We had no children. I am keeping busy in order to occupy my mind with other things. I decided to join the group to know that others would understand my situtation at this time of my life.

 

[JeanR]

Welcome, SunnyPat

My husband also died of a sudden heart attack in October 2006. It has been 16 months. The paramedics said he never knew what hit him, it was so fast. You will find comfort here. We know how you feel and what you are going through.

 

[SunnyPat]

Hi Jean,
Thanks for your encouraging words. I haven`t heard from anyone else yet.
SunnyPat

 

[LadyLace]

Welcome!!

My husband died suddenly 9 years ago from massive blood clots to his lungs.

I understand what you are feeling and I won't tell you that the pain will go away but at some point and everyone's time is their own, the pain does become "different" and the memories take over and in that time you are able to smile in the midst of the tears.

Then the tears become less and the smiles stand out especially with the thought that we who are here have a wonderful purpose and the ones who are in Heaven are safe and free from the pains of this world and are waiting for us to come Home.

 

[CRASH2008]

Welcome Sunny Pat from another newbie.

My husband's death was not quite as sudden. God gave both of us some time to prepare for the end just not in quite the timing he gave us.

We were getting ready for a needle biopsy of his liver so a chemo regimen could be fine tuned - when he became confused over a weekend. I took him to his oncologist for a shot of Procrit. The doctor sent him to the hospital via ambulance and told me he was in a 911 state.

That evening I learned my husband would live through the night but had only about 3 days left to live so call his family. WOW - but God was gracious. He gave me 5 days after the sentence day so 6 total. On the 2nd day my husbands mind was clear as anything. He was able to visit with all of his children, his parents, our Pastor and his wonderful Urologist - who told him (upon my request) there was nothing medically that could be done to prolong his life.

We had a wonderful Tuesday and I will never forget that day and evening nor night. The next day he became extremely confused and had to be heavily medicated.

On the 4th night my husband woke up clear as anything to tell me he loved me and gave me a kiss. That was the last time he was clear minded and awake. He was groggy and awake a little the next morning but I got the special gift of that Thursday night as I sat with him on the night shift. God knew just what each person needed and just when they needed it. He truly supplied all of our human needs.

When I went to leave the hospital the day he died it occured to me I had no idea where that bank of elevators took me. My best girlfriend had come to pick me up. I told her as we stood there that I did not know where these elevators would take us. Her reply was priceless "Down I hope." You had to be there

 

[InHisCare]

You came to the right place! We all have a common hurt and it does help to share our feelings. It is also nice to get encouragement from the group. I find myself visiting the site in times that I feel very alone. I know the Lord is always with me, but He gave us our Brothers and Sisters in Christ for that human comfort. I pray that you will have a Blessed day today!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

My husband suffered from Head and Neck Cancer and had a tumor behind his eye. He died the day after his 55th birthday. He had a terrible time on his birthday trying to go to the bathroom and after the Hospice nurse came and took care of that, he wanted to rest but was awake every time I checked on him. The next morning I had a friend watch him so my boys and I could go to church. He waited for me to get home, but told me in the morning that he would be gone by noon. He died at 12:30. He had the labored breathing and just could not get comfortable. It was really horrible and sad to sit there not being able to do anything. He just was so tired of fighting and not getting any better, he didn't want to be here anymore, and didn't want to be a burden to us anymore. I miss him more than ever. This year has been worse for me and it's my third year. I cry reading all your stories or just thinking about him. But I thank God for this site and the people here that comfort others. And I am most thankful that we are Christians. I don't know how I could survive if I thought this life was all there was.

 

[JeanR]

Michelle

I understand what you mean. It has been 16 months and I think this year is worse. The first year was all the "firsts", but the shock and daze was still there. This year I am still dealing with "firsts", but of a different kind and the numbing is gone. I have cried everyday for 16 months and I just don't want to cry anymore.

The loneliness is so intense, especially on the weekends, that I will go anywhere, do anything just to fill up the time. People have made remarks that I'm never home, always going to the shore, or to a concert, or to the mountains, but they just don't understand. I am filling my time with entertainment, nothing substantial.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I know....sometimes I do the same....except I have kids to care for still.

 

[CRASH2008]

Michelle

I understand what you mean. It has been 16 months and I think this year is worse. The first year was all the "firsts", but the shock and daze was still there. This year I am still dealing with "firsts", but of a different kind and the numbing is gone. I have cried everyday for 16 months and I just don't want to cry anymore.

The loneliness is so intense, especially on the weekends, that I will go anywhere, do anything just to fill up the time. People have made remarks that I'm never home, always going to the shore, or to a concert, or to the mountains, but they just don't understand. I am filling my time with entertainment, nothing substantial.

OH boy does this sound like my life - by month 14 I was dating the Kleenex box everynight! I was crying everyday on the way home - to an empty house - I was on a downhill spiral and no one knew - because no one ever really stopped to listen. I think that is the biggest thing missing in our society today. Oh we or they pretend to listen but we are not really listening to what the person left behind is saying.

Thank goodness for this site and another Christian site. These sites are many night my entertainment. I don't have a lot of close friends but my online friends are fast becoming who I look for each evening.

Maybe I am going in the wrong direction here.. I know I am very tired and am falling asleep - This is gona post and if it needs work send me an send me an email PLEASE.

 

[dellinw]

OH boy does this sound like my life - by month 14 I was dating the Kleenex box everynight! I was crying everyday on the way home - to an empty house - I was on a downhill spiral and no one knew - because no one ever really stopped to listen. I think that is the biggest thing missing in our society today. Oh we or they pretend to listen but we are not really listening to what the person left behind is saying.

Thank goodness for this site and another Christian site. These sites are many night my entertainment. I don't have a lot of close friends but my online friends are fast becoming who I look for each evening.

Maybe I am going in the wrong direction here.. I know I am very tired and am falling asleep - This is gona post and if it needs work send me an send me an email PLEASE.

you are not alone, it's been almost 9 mo for me. I too chat and cry. Could you send me a private e-mail with the other christian site.. God Bless
Helen