Athaliamum
Torah Submissive
I have some advise if you are willing to hear it. I would suggest to wait a year, just one. Let the first year of your marriage be about you and your husband. The first year alone is a steep learning curve, give the foundation of you and your partner as husband and wife time to establish before adding a child into the mix.
There is a big difference between the pre-marital and the married relationship, you need to find your grove first so that any big bumps may be worked out. I'm sure you're thinking we'll be fine etc. and I'm sure you will but that doesn't mean the storms of the first year wont come up. I like you was engaged at 17, married 18 days after my 18th birthday, I don't know the age of your partner by mine was 22 with a really good paying job that came with a house and he owned his car and a household full of furniture outright - so he was really well set up so there was absolutely no worry there. We are soul mates. We think along pretty much the same lines and we never argued. But that first year you are learning the ground rules for marriage but in practice not theory, there are going to be some speed humps as you learn to live with each other. You eat together, sleep together, run a household together many things you most probably have not done together. You might find he has some weird little habit you never knew about that drives you nuts or vice versa. You might find the reality isn't quite what you were expecting. You need just a little time to sort these kinks out, so that when you are looking at getting pregnant and having a child you are already in a routine and have established that marital foundation.
Babies each have their own personalities. There are easy going ones that just fit in and there are high maintenance ones that can bring you to the edge. Also there is no promise that any child will be "normal", your marriage needs to be at a place where it could handle having a disabled child and all that that entails, with countless medical appointments and sometimes the loss of your dreams for your child, and I'm not talking huge expectations just the one where you want your child to grow up and be able to function in the world. Trust me I know, I've been down this road.
Of course if we worry about all the what if's we would never do anything but the doesn't mean rushing into something before, not neccessarily you personally, but the marriage is ready for it. Just my PO give it a year.
There is a big difference between the pre-marital and the married relationship, you need to find your grove first so that any big bumps may be worked out. I'm sure you're thinking we'll be fine etc. and I'm sure you will but that doesn't mean the storms of the first year wont come up. I like you was engaged at 17, married 18 days after my 18th birthday, I don't know the age of your partner by mine was 22 with a really good paying job that came with a house and he owned his car and a household full of furniture outright - so he was really well set up so there was absolutely no worry there. We are soul mates. We think along pretty much the same lines and we never argued. But that first year you are learning the ground rules for marriage but in practice not theory, there are going to be some speed humps as you learn to live with each other. You eat together, sleep together, run a household together many things you most probably have not done together. You might find he has some weird little habit you never knew about that drives you nuts or vice versa. You might find the reality isn't quite what you were expecting. You need just a little time to sort these kinks out, so that when you are looking at getting pregnant and having a child you are already in a routine and have established that marital foundation.
Babies each have their own personalities. There are easy going ones that just fit in and there are high maintenance ones that can bring you to the edge. Also there is no promise that any child will be "normal", your marriage needs to be at a place where it could handle having a disabled child and all that that entails, with countless medical appointments and sometimes the loss of your dreams for your child, and I'm not talking huge expectations just the one where you want your child to grow up and be able to function in the world. Trust me I know, I've been down this road.
Of course if we worry about all the what if's we would never do anything but the doesn't mean rushing into something before, not neccessarily you personally, but the marriage is ready for it. Just my PO give it a year.
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