New Remarriage Thread - Please Respond

[ElizabethanLady]

Hi, I posted before about my marital status.

To be succinct, I will say that I divorced my third husband while I was away from the Lord. I was in a backslidden position.

Okay, I met a man who is wonderful and all that. But, I've found a great church BUT a lady took it upon herself to tell me that the pastor wouldn't marry us. We are living together, for reasons I don't have time to go into. I know that has to stop.

So, we either get married or get separate places.

Someone commented on another thread:

I fully anticipate that my church will not marry me... unless it was to my ex-wife. And why should they? Why should churches conform to our society rather than God's word?

I divorced my ex-husband, as I said, when I was in a backslidden condition. Does the Lord not forgive that, in the sense that I have seen where I messed up and can remarry?
There is absolutely no way I would consider reconciling to my ex-husband.

The reason I ask is because Jesus said if you even look on a woman with lust you have committed adultery in your heart.

The problem is, we are already a family. The kids love him. Do I have to break up another household? Obviously, I should never have allowed him to move in but I was backslid at the time.

Thoughts?

P.S. I really love him and he is so good to us. I guess I need to talk to my pastor, I don't know.

 

[E-beth]

you are probably right.... I think the best bet is to talk to your pastor.

I will say what my pastor told my uncle and aunt at the time they wanted to join the church while they were living together. They also moved in together before they got saved. Then after they made a profession of faith and wanted to be baptised and join the church, my pastor at the time refused to baptise them. His reasoning is that although they were not saved at the time they moved in together, they were now and were doing nothing to rectify a situation they knew was wrong.

Some things to think about: Are you showing God you want to serve him fully in your life? Are you dedicated to teaching your children that making choices for God is not always easy but is always rewarded? Is your relationship with your current live-in glorifying God?

I guess what I am trying to say is, don't focus as much on what you did before when you were backslidden, and turn your focus on what you are doing NOW.

 

[ElizabethanLady]

His reasoning is that although they were not saved at the time they moved in together, they were now and were doing nothing to rectify a situation they knew was wrong.

That is what confuses me.

In order to rectify the situation I would have to do one of 2 things:

1. get separate abodes
I have talked to my BF/fiance about this previously.
We are broke.
We have absolutely NO money.
Neither of us has a job right now.

2. Get married

I want to get baptized again before I get married, so the past can be put away.
But I know if the Pastor finds out I am living w/my fiance he won't baptize me, probably.

It always seems as if I am stuck between 2 rocks.

 

[Manna]

I think you already said it in your first post -- you need to talk to your pastor. If I was going through this situation, I would make an appt with him, sit down, talk through everything, and see what his opinion is. It can't hurt to try! Good luck and keep us posted!

Anna

 

[ElizabethanLady]

edited

 

[Jennifer615]

You poor thing! I know exactly what you are going through! I've been through it myself. I am divorced and remarried. I find myself a marginal Christian now. Few groups will accept me because of my situation. However, I would prefer that than to have either lived the rest of my life celebant or remarried to my abusive ex.

I think you need to ask yourself a few questions. Is this man the man you wish to spend the rest of your life with? Can you make a life-time commitment to him? Is he truly a good man? Is there a chance you may bring him to the Lord?

This is just my personal opinion, but if you answered yes to all these questions, I would say marry him. At least you would not be living in sin anymore.

My husband and I lived together for a while before we married, but I let him know from the start that a long-term de-facto relationship was not an option. Either marry me or go!

Please keep us posted. God bless.

 

[mghalpern]

You poor thing! I know exactly what you are going through! I've been through it myself. I am divorced and remarried. I find myself a marginal Christian now. Few groups will accept me because of my situation. However, I would prefer that than to have either lived the rest of my life celebant or remarried to my abusive ex.

I think you need to ask yourself a few questions. Is this man the man you wish to spend the rest of your life with? Can you make a life-time commitment to him? Is he truly a good man? Is there a chance you may bring him to the Lord?

This is just my personal opinion, but if you answered yes to all these questions, I would say marry him. At least you would not be living in sin anymore.

My husband and I lived together for a while before we married, but I let him know from the start that a long-term de-facto relationship was not an option. Either marry me or go!

Please keep us posted. God bless.

I'm confused about two things in this thread. First, if her boyfriend/fiancé is not saved, it is a sin to be unequally yoked. Second, she mentioned that there is no way she would go back to her ex-husband. If there was no infidelity (physical abuse or abandonment might be acceptable for not going back as well...though not directly addressed in the bible), then why isn't reconciliation an option (assuming he hasn't remarried or doesn't want her back) if you have truly "come back to Christ?" Backsliding is not an excusable reason for divorce and then not working to restore your broken relationship. We are called to be merciful, to be peacemakers, and to be reconcilers. Again...I'm confused...Michael

 

[Jennifer615]

There seems to be alot of confusion amongst Christians regarding reconciling with ex-husbands. I was told I MUST.


However, in the Bible it says it is an abomination to remarry an ex-husband once one has married another (been "defiled"). I'm no Bible scholar so I don't know the exact verse.

Sometimes I think we need to bring some common sense into the equation. Would you want your spouse to stay with you because they "have to" and know that your spouse does not love you, but is coerced into staying with you? Do you think that God is such a bureaucrat that He won't make allowances if a spouse is being abused! Don't you think abuse is sooooo much worse than an adulterous fling! In a perfect world everyone will marry once and love their spouse for the rest of their life, (unless the spouse dies) but we don't live in a perfect world. We are human, and humans make mistakes. Provided we repent, God forgives.

 

[mghalpern]

There seems to be alot of confusion amongst Christians regarding reconciling with ex-husbands. I was told I MUST.

However, in the Bible it says it is an abomination to remarry an ex-husband once one has married another (been "defiled"). I'm no Bible scholar so I don't know the exact verse.

Sometimes I think we need to bring some common sense into the equation. Would you want your spouse to stay with you because they "have to" and know that your spouse does not love you, but is coerced into staying with you? Do you think that God is such a bureaucrat that He won't make allowances if a spouse is being abused! Don't you think abuse is sooooo much worse than an adulterous fling! In a perfect world everyone will marry once and love their spouse for the rest of their life, (unless the spouse dies) but we don't live in a perfect world. We are human, and humans make mistakes. Provided we repent, God forgives.

Forgive me. I guess it's my charismatic/spirit filled upbringing that has taught me to take God and His Word literally. First off...I specifically mentioned that if an ex has remarried that reconciliation is not a mandate. Secondly, we usually find ourselves in the predicament of this thread because of our "common sense." We are explicitly admonished to rely upon God’s Sense - by the Holy Spirit, not to lean on our own understanding. Thirdly, love is not a feeling. Emotions come and go. Love can be rebuilt and restored. If everyone divorces their spouse because they didn't love them, no one would be married because all marriages go through seasons where the love ebbs and flows. Fourthly, should a spouse stay because the “have to” or because they were coerced? They “have to” because they made a covenant with God and their spouse. (For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for better of for worse, until death do us part!) That’s God’s design, not mine. Fifthly, God is not a bureaucrat at all! He did make an allowance, but not because He wanted to; it’s because of our hardened hearts. We are warned not to let our hearts become seared. Sixthly, I again specifically mentioned abuse (or when your life is in danger), but separation is still a better option to divorce. We divorce because we have hate in our hearts—plain and simple. Seventhly, regarding abuse vs. adulterous fling: neither is worse…they are both abuse and extremely destructive to a relationship. Eighthly, humans do make mistakes and God does forgive a repentant (turning from our sinful ways) heart. This is exactly my point. The spouse who wants the divorce after realizing the sin of doing so, and they do repent, should return to their spouse for reconciliation. Finally, just about everything you mentioned in your post was based on human feelings. I didn’t see anything about seeking the heart of God and what He would want a person to do. The problem with us humans is that we base everything on our feelings and thoughts. When we have been hurt, our emotions are not a reliable source in which to seek direction. God’s word is our compass when we are disoriented. When are we going to live in obedience to God? Show me a biblical character who had a happy, comfortable, easy, convenient life and I will show you ten more who didn’t. I think the bible is fraught with people who were confronted with humanly impossible situations, and had to rely 100% on God. Hence, we need to do the same thing when we are faced with decisions like divorcing our spouse. Statistically, the vast (75%-85%) of marriages are dissolved not over infidelity or abuse, but over feelings: a lack of love, lack of affection, lack of happiness, a bad sex life, etc., etc., etc. When do we Christians stand up for what is right according to God, and show the rest of the world that Christ actually does make a difference in our lives. He is not the big Santa Clause in the sky granting our every wish; He is our Heavenly Father who knows exactly what we need (more than we do), and meets every one of those needs!…Michael



Sorry if I might sound a bit harsh, but as a minister/counselor, I am so saddened that we don’t look or think any differently than those who don’t know Jesus.

 

[Jennifer615]

I too am saddened by so many marriages that are desolved over the reasons you mentioned, "oh, we just fell out of love", "I had to find myself", "he/she wasn't the right one" etc etc etc. Those are pathetic excuses. I too believe that marriage should be for life.

HOWEVER, once abuse happens, this changes everything. In the Bible is says that God desires mercy, not sacrifice. I believe that God does not want the abused spouse to be a sacrificial victim for the sake of "the marriage". I believe God has enough mercy to allow a way out for the abused spouse.

I am so saddened by all those "christians" who pour so much condemnation on abused women who have left abusive marriages. They are condemning the victims, not the perpetrators! In the case of physical abuse, the woman must leave! She should NOT be expected to reconcile with a man who has physically abused her! THOSE MEN KILL!!!!!!!! Thousands of women have been killed by abusive husbands! I am sure it grieves God's heart to see so many innocents condemned so much that they feel they must leave the church.

In my case I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually abused. I could write 3 forum pages with my story, but won't. I believe my ex has a personality disorder. I believe that if I stayed in this marriage, I would be in a psychiatric institute by now, or dead. I was at the end of myself and didn't know who I was anymore! Our daughter also was affected by the constant fighting. I had to leave! He was destroying me. I too felt I had to leave the church because of condemnation. Praise God I found a good church were the minister understood my situation. I am now remarried to a wonderful man. We have a son together. My daughter considers him more of a father to her than her biological father. We are a happy family busy raising our 2 children.

Surely you, a man of God, wouldn't try and break up our happy family, would you. Our marriage is as valid as yours! We are a family too.

It hurts so much, knowing I am a marginalised Christian now, and many people (like you) will not accept me. However, I would choose my family over the majority of the church's acceptance anyday!

 

[Jennifer615]

Oh, and Manna, your baby is gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes me feel like having another one!!!

 

[mghalpern]

I too am saddened by so many marriages that are desolved over the reasons you mentioned, "oh, we just fell out of love", "I had to find myself", "he/she wasn't the right one" etc etc etc. Those are pathetic excuses. I too believe that marriage should be for life.

I truly believe that you do feel the way you say and I appreciate that.

HOWEVER, once abuse happens, this changes everything. In the Bible is says that God desires mercy, not sacrifice. I believe that God does not want the abused spouse to be a sacrificial victim for the sake of "the marriage". I believe God has enough mercy to allow a way out for the abused spouse.

I agree with you. I too believe that God doesn’t expect you to sit their and take the physical or (truly) emotional abuse. Though, I have found that most people jump to divorce before they ever consider or go through a legal separation to work on these issues.

I am so saddened by all those "christians" who pour so much condemnation on abused women who have left abusive marriages. They are condemning the victims, not the perpetrators!

This again is true to a degree. I am also saddened by anyone, especially Christians, who would condemn an abused victim for leaving/separating from the abuser. There are other options to divorce, most especially in the beginning. One reason the abused women feel that they are being condemned and not the abuser, is that it’s usually the abused who has accessed the “Christian world.” The abuser has often isolated himself/herself from the accountability that can come from Christian fellowship.

In the case of physical abuse, the woman must leave! She should NOT be expected to reconcile with a man who has physically abused her! THOSE MEN KILL!!!!!!!! Thousands of women have been killed by abusive husbands! I am sure it grieves God's heart to see so many innocents condemned so much that they feel they must leave the church.

Why should s/he not be expected to attempt to reconcile with a spouse who has physically abused him or her? especially if you are speaking from a scriptural basis. The Word tells us that we have the power to give life or to kill with our tongues which is a common way that women inflict harm on their husbands. This is why I don’t just jump to divorce right off the bat. “THOSE MEN KILL!!!!!!!!” If that’s not an exaggeration, I don’t know what is. It is absolutely true that women have died at the hands of a physical abuser, but I would suggest that the vast majority of physical abusers don’t kill their victims. Yet, this is why separation is still so very important and should be the first action taken by the victim. Also, you may have been totally innocent in you situation, but I have seen first hand (not my marriage) the taunting that can go on by a woman who was just inciting the abuse that took place. In very specific cases, the church must condemn people who are choosing to LIVE in sin (Matt. 6:15-17). Sadly, this doesn’t happen very much any more.



Correcting a Fellow Believer

"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the fault. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If that person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. If the church decides you are right, but the other person won't accept it, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

In my case I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually abused. I could write 3 forum pages with my story, but won't. I believe my ex has a personality disorder. I believe that if I stayed in this marriage, I would be in a psychiatric institute by now, or dead. I was at the end of myself and didn't know who I was anymore! Our daughter also was affected by the constant fighting. I had to leave! He was destroying me. I too felt I had to leave the church because of condemnation.

I don’t know your whole story, and that’s ok. I’m not saying that are making anything up, but for the benefit of others who are reading this and don’t know the whole story either, I can only comment in general terms. Your ex-husband may have had a personality disorder, so what happened to your vows of “in sickness and in health; for better or for worse?” Did you give him an opportunity to seek medical attention? If you did, I commend you, as this would be the right thing to do. If you didn’t, then I would say that you have a responsibility here that you will have to deal with. I am sure you felt that if things continued the way they were that “you would be in a psychiatric institute by now, or dead.” I have never suggested that you just stand by and do nothing more than allowing the abuse to continue. It sounds like he really got into your head and messed you up. There are a lot of people who allow this to happen by not having appropriate boundaries and not enforcing them early on in marriage. There are many individuals who are too weak to establish health limitations regarding proper or improper behavior. There are others who have the strength and strategies who can weather the storm of irrational, unhealthy behavior. Again, I’m not saying that there aren’t very legitimate cases of abuse that must be dealt with immediately; however, I have read enough material on “emotional” abuse that doesn’t constitute any abuse at all. Most often this is marital neglect, not abuse.



With your daughter being affected is all the more reason for separation. Again, I agree, you had to leave, but I’m not sure that you were being destroyed (but like I said, I don’t know your whole story). It’s also very sad when a church makes the wrong decision in condemning someone who should have never been condemned. If you were in a hostile church environment, and you were totally innocent, they you made the right choice in leaving.

Praise God I found a good church were the minister understood my situation. I am now remarried to a wonderful man. We have a son together. My daughter considers him more of a father to her than her biological father. We are a happy family busy raising our 2 children.

I’m not going to condemn you for your choices. I don’t know (if I knew the whole story) if I would have counseled you the way you chose to go, but like the Word says, “"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." I am very happy to hear, now that what has happened happened, you are married to a wonderful man and your family is doing very well. I still don’t believe this was God’s original design for marriage and family.

Surely you, a man of God, wouldn't try and break up our happy family, would you. Our marriage is as valid as yours! We are a family too.

It hurts so much, knowing I am a marginalised Christian now, and many people (like you) will not accept me. However, I would choose my family over the majority of the church's acceptance anyday!

No! Not at this point. It has nothing to do with you being a “happy family;” it has everything to do with not wanting to create yet one more divorce, and eventual marriage. I’ve never said that any marriage was more “valid” than another. And yes, you are a family too…a family with one mother and two daddies. This seems to have become the new definition of a family (extra parents). We have a new term we live with now…serial monogamy. It just saddens my heart that we who call ourselves Christians have no distinction between our marriages/divorces and the rest of the “worlds” marriages/divorces. Guess the only reason to have a Savior is to get into heaven…not to make a significant difference in our lives hear on earth. This is by no means the only “sin” that we share (in such alarming numbers) with the world. We are such a lousy testimony to the unsaved so much of the time. We ought to be able to live as though Christ truly makes a difference in our lives and He wants to for the non-Christian who accepts Him.



I accept you and more importantly God accepts you. However, there are numerous issues that must be dealt with with truth and mercy. Just because a person sins, or even lives in sin, doesn’t mean that they are not accepted.



I would change you last sentence to state, “However, I would choose God’s acceptance/will/Word/ways over the majority of the church’s acceptance any day!...Michael

 

[Jennifer615]

When you say that the majority of abusers don't actually kill their victims, yes you are right, BUT ALOT DO. Here are some statistics below:


What percent of female homicide victims are killed by partners or family members?

Among all female murder victims in 1992, 30% were slain by husbands or boyfriends.
(Uniform Crime Reports, Crime in the United States 1992 Washington, D.C.: Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1993, p.16.)

According to the Uniform Crime Report of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, 30% of women killed in the United States die at the hands of a husband or boyfriend. In 1990, more than 800 women were killed by their husbands; 400 more were killed by their boyfriends.
(Antonia C. Novello, "From the Surgeon General, U.S. Public Health Service, a Medical Response to Domestic Violence, "Journal of the American Medical Association, June 17, 1992, p.3132.)

Carmody and Williams (Carmody, D.C. and K.R. Williams, "Wife Assault and Perceptions of Sanctions." Violence and Victims 2, 1987, 1:25-38) found that 52% of the women killed between 1980 and 1984 were killed by a husband, ex-husband, common-law-husband or boyfriend.
(Anna Wilson, ed., Introduction to Homicide: The Victim/Offender Connection, Cincinnati, OH: Anderson Publishing Co., 1993, p. 3.)

You need to realise that this is a very real thing, and you can't rely on the fact that "most men don't kill". How would you feel if you encouraged a woman to stay with her abusive husband, then found out a few days later that she had been killed by him. Surely you won't say "well, if he kills you, you will go to heaven, its a win-win situation"?? (Some pastors have said this resulting in death. I write on other forums with women who have been victims of violence, and they say the same thing - THOSE MEN KILL! A man would have to have a personality disorder or some psychiatric problem to be violent in the first place. Can you truly judge that he would not kill. He might snap if his subject (wife) dares to speak up to him or fight back. It happens.

As far as mental, emotional and spiritual abuse is concerned, you also need to know how damaging it is if you are training to be a counsellor. A human being is only able to be humiliated, yelled at, put down, criticized, laughed at, made fun of, manipulated, disrespected, controlled, invalidated etc etc etc for so long. After that they have to leave, or go insane themselves. My ex did all those things to me. We went to soooooooo much counselling, but he wouldn't budge. He had the gift of the gab and would sweet talk himself out of everything. For so many years, in the midst of all this abuse, my biggest fear was that he would leave me because I was not good enough. The church was on my side when I desperately tried to save the marriage, but turned against me when I left. I gave him chances to win me back after we separated. We were separated for years before I divorced him. He wanted me back but was not willing to change. He just wanted to continue to control me. I believe he broke the marriage covernment by abusing me. He did not deserve to keep me. He reaped what he sowed.

A good website on this is www.divorcehope.com.

 

[mghalpern]

When you say that the majority of abusers don't actually kill their victims, yes you are right, BUT ALOT DO. Here are some statistics below:

What percent of female homicide victims are killed by partners or family members?

Among all female murder victims in 1992, 30% were slain by husbands or boyfriends.

(Uniform Crime Reports, Crime in the United States 1992 Washington, D.C.: Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1993, p.16.)

According to the Uniform Crime Report of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, 30% of women killed in the United States die at the hands of a husband or boyfriend. In 1990, more than 800 women were killed by their husbands; 400 more were killed by their boyfriends.

(Antonia C. Novello, "From the Surgeon General, U.S. Public Health Service, a Medical Response to Domestic Violence, "Journal of the American Medical Association, June 17, 1992, p.3132.)

Carmody and Williams (Carmody, D.C. and K.R. Williams, "Wife Assault and Perceptions of Sanctions." Violence and Victims 2, 1987, 1:25-38) found that 52% of the women killed between 1980 and 1984 were killed by a husband, ex-husband, common-law-husband or boyfriend.

(Anna Wilson, ed., Introduction to Homicide: The Victim/Offender Connection, Cincinnati, OH: Anderson Publishing Co., 1993, p. 3.)



You need to realise that this is a very real thing, and you can't rely on the fact that "most men don't kill". How would you feel if you encouraged a woman to stay with her abusive husband, then found out a few days later that she had been killed by him. Surely you won't say "well, if he kills you, you will go to heaven, its a win-win situation"?? (Some pastors have said this resulting in death. I write on other forums with women who have been victims of violence, and they say the same thing - THOSE MEN KILL! A man would have to have a personality disorder or some psychiatric problem to be violent in the first place. Can you truly judge that he would not kill. He might snap if his subject (wife) dares to speak up to him or fight back. It happens.



As far as mental, emotional and spiritual abuse is concerned, you also need to know how damaging it is if you are training to be a counsellor. A human being is only able to be humiliated, yelled at, put down, criticized, laughed at, made fun of, manipulated, disrespected, controlled, invalidated etc etc etc for so long. After that they have to leave, or go insane themselves. My ex did all those things to me. We went to soooooooo much counselling, but he wouldn't budge. He had the gift of the gab and would sweet talk himself out of everything. For so many years, in the midst of all this abuse, my biggest fear was that he would leave me because I was not good enough. The church was on my side when I desperately tried to save the marriage, but turned against me when I left. I gave him chances to win me back after we separated. We were separated for years before I divorced him. He wanted me back but was not willing to change. He just wanted to continue to control me. I believe he broke the marriage covernment by abusing me. He did not deserve to keep me. He reaped what he sowed.



A good website on this is www. divorcehope. com.[/QUOTE]



I wan to spend more time than I have right now responding to your post; however, I will say that the statistics you site are abhorrent and definitely break my heart because I don't wish harm on anybody.



Since I only have a minute or two right now, I just wanted to post about the book featured on the website you mentioned to spur additional comments by other users:

Divorce: God's Will?

Written by Stephen Gola



This authoritative divorce and remarriage Bible study clearly reveals the true grounds for divorce and that there are christian divorce rights. Sometimes God uses divorce to save lives! But many divorced people have felt they have let God down. Some who need to divorce feel they are violating God’s will. But no more!





God Himself has spoken on their behalf through His Bible. The Lord said to the author, “Son, sit down, I want to teach you about divorce."



Divorce: God's Will? is the result of God’s command to help people come out from under the condemnation of religion and to experience His love.



This book is full of hope and compassion! It reveals God’s true heart to those who are in a bad marriage and those who have gone through a divorce. So much love and power flows from these pages that it literally releases the reader from condemnation and brings their heart to total peace.



Since God’s Word, the Bible, is the foundation for marriage and divorce, the author has plainly established and made clear from the Bible that God is for divorce. God cares more for the man and woman who make up the marriage than He cares for the marriage itself.

I would love to read some comments from every one out there on the highlighted portion in the above statements from the website mentioned by Jennifer615.

God cares more for the man and woman who make up the marriage than He cares for the marriage itself.

I totally agree with the above statement made in the website, but have a lot of problems with the rest...Michael

 

[mghalpern]

WOW! More wonderful "stuff" from this same website...
[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Bible Facts About Divorce. [/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]There are specific Biblical and spiritual facts that govern marriage, divorce and remarriage. Some of these facts identified in this book are: [/font]

• [font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Divorce itself is not wrong or sin unless it is used for selfish pleasure! [/font]
• [font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]God loves the individuals who make up the marriage more than He loves the marriage institution! (TRUE...mgh)[/font]
• [font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]God did not say, "I hate divorce" to ALL divorces; some He calls for, others are needed! (Where does this guy get this stuff...mgh)[/font]
• [font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The Bible tells that "widows" are women who have been divorced or deserted, as well as those whose husbands are dead. Widows should be cared for by the Church! (Absolutely true!...mgh)[/font]
• [font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]God hates a divorce when His approval is on the marriage . When God disapproves of the marriage, His approval is on the divorce! (Again, here does this guy get this stuff...mgh)[/font]
• [font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A Biblical remarriage was always God's heart! (What is he talking about...mgh)[/font]
• [font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]God revokes the right to divorce in certain situations. Meaning, the right to divorce has always been there. (Please help me understand this...mgh)[/font]

Any comments?...Michael

 

[mghalpern]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Marriage Problems, Family Problems Relationship Problems & Divorce Sources of Help.​

List of links that help people involved in crisis in the areas of marriage problems, family problems, divorce help, relationship problems, mental problems, curses, and spiritual problems. [/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]​

BOOKS ON: [/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]“Breaking Curses & Soul Ties”[/font]


[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Marilyn Hickey Ministries[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(Prayer line, book and tape resources.)
1-877-661-1249 (M-F 6:30am-4:30pm, MST, USA only.)
Book: “BREAKING GENERATIONAL CURSES”
Published by: Harrison House
Web Address: www.mhmin.org


Eagles Nest Ministries (Book and tape resources.)
1-888-EAGLE-99 (324-5399)
Book: “SEDUCTIONS EXPOSED”
Published by: Whitaker House.
Web Address: www.eaglesnestministries.org/home.htm [/font]


[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
PRAYER LINES, BOOKS, TAPES[/font]



[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Joyce Meyer Ministries
(Books and tapes for healing from marriage problems, mental problems, relationship problems, spiritual issues, physical & sexual abuse, difficult upbringing, prayer and listen to broadcast.)
1-800-707-7877
Prayer Line: 1-866-349-3300 (M-F 6am-6pm CST).
Web Address: www.joycemeyer.org


FamilyLife
(Books, tapes for Marriage & Family relationship growth & problem resolution, listen online.)
1-800-358-6329
Web Address: www.familylife.com


Kenneth Copeland Ministries
(Books, tapes for spiritual growth, bible studies, listen - view online, church online, prayer.)
Web Address: www.kcm.org


Time For Hope
(Mental Health, family and relationship problems, counseling referrals, all kinds of resources.)
Television host: Dr. Freda V. Crews
1-800-669-9133
Web Address: www.timeforhope.org[/font]



[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
ABUSE, ADDICTION, DISORDER REFERRALS, RESOURCES[/font]



[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A Time 2 Heal Ministsries
(Specializing in healing, restoration, and recovery for struggling marriage--ex. lust, affairs, pornography.)Web Address: www.atime2heal.org


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]National Association For Research And Therapy Of Homosexuality (NARTH)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Specialty: Homosexuality help, parenting & family issues, resources.)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1-818-789-4440
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Web Address: www.narth.com[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Exodus International
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Specialty: Homosexuality help through the transforming power of Jesus Christ.) Worldwide ministry.[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
1-888-264-0877[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web address: www.exodus-international.org


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Faithful And True Ministries
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Specialty: Sexual addiction, newsletters.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web address: www.faithfulandtrueministries.com


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Stepfamily Zone
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The is the website of the Stepfamily Association of South Australia Inc. Blended family help.
(Our aim is to provide stepfamilies [blended families] with an online community. A friendly interactive environment where stepfamilies feel they are understood and information and support is available.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web Address: www.stepfamily.asn.au [/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
National Association For Christian Recovery[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(Sexual, physical & metal abuse, addiction, disorder counselor and therapist referrals.)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1-714-529-6227
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Web Address: www.nacronline.com (“ Referral Center ” button.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web Address: www.spiritualabuse.com


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Cloud-Townsend Resources
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Solutions For Life, resources for marriage and family situations, counseling referrals.)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1-800-676-HOPE (4673)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Web Address: www.cloudtownsend.com (Excellent tape library. “Tape Library” button.) [/font]


[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]American Counseling Association,
(National Counseling Referral Directory)
(Referral network of behavioral health care professionals for... in-office, telephone and email counseling and therapist.)
1-866-721-1101
Web Address: www.personalsolutions.com
Web Address: www.counseling.org


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Preventing Divorce
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Resources and links to ministries specializing in preventing divorce and solving marriage problems. Also has some ministries and clinics with free marriage & divorce counseling.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web Address: www.preventingdivorce.com [/font]



[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

COUNSELING, THERAPY, HELP[/font]



[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dawson McAllister Association [/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Age limit: 13-21 years old for HOPE-line only. 1-800-394-HOPE [4673], M-F 2pm-9pm CST and Sat-Sun 6pm-12mid CST.)
(Abuse, family problems, relationship problems, problems with God, parent relationship problems.)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Prayer Web Address: www.theprayerroom.com
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Open to any age.) Chaplain and live help desk, free advice, listen online, other resources.[/font]


[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Elijah House
(In house therapy. Inner healing by The power of the Cross through the Spirit and the Word working to heal and restore families.)
[/font](208) 773-1645[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Web address: www.ElijahHouse.org
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

Save My Marriage
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Marriage seminar for couples considering divorce).[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web address: www.savemymarriage.com


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]New Life Ministries[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(Books, tapes, christian marriage counselor referrals, listen online.)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1-800-NEW LIFE (639-5433)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web Address: www.newlife.com


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Meier Clinics
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Therapist - counselors for marriage problems, relationship problems, marriage advice, books and tapes.)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1-888-7CLINIC (725-4642), free 24hours a day counseling help line. Referrals also.
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Web Address: www.meierclinics.com[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(Note: “meierclinic.com” is NOT their web site; “clinics” has an “s”.)[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Troubled With
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Immediate help. Just fill in the blank: I need help with.... Free counseling help available for ANY kind of problem or situation-- divorce counseling, marriage counseling, abuse, anything! Book and tape resources.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
1-866-914-HOPE (4673) for resources,
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1-719-531-3400 for free counseling.
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Web Address: www.troubledwith.com


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(Powerful distant education training programs (on CD & video)- helping those who hurt deeply: christian marriage & divorce counseling referrals, books.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
1-434-525-9470
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Web Address: www.aacc.net[/font]

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Family Dynamics Institute[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(Family Dynamics Institute trains church leaders, counselors, and lay-couples to lead marriage-enrichment and divorce prevention classes.)
1-800-650-9995 for information.[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web Address: www.familydynamics.net


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Focus on the Family
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Books, tapes and free counseling line, christian marriage and divorce advice, family problem resolution, relationship & parent problem resolution.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459) (For resources, or ask for correspondence or counseling to talk with someone.)
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Counseling Dept. direct line,[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
1-719-531-3400[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web Address: www.family.org


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]GrowthTrac [/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(Discussion Forum, books and tapes.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(On web site, “ Discussion Forum ” is located in the GrowthTrac “Community” button.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web Address: www.growthtrac.com


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Smalley Relationship Center
[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif](Free godly marriage counseling, books and tapes for marriage and family growth.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
1-866-875-2915 (Other crisis emergency numbers given when calling this number. Available M-F 8am-5pm CST.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
Web Address: www.smalleyonline.com


[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]H. Norman Wright[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
(Crisis situation products for family and marriage problems and abuse.)[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
1-800-875-7560
Web Address: www.hnormanwright.com[/font][font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] [/font]

 

[mghalpern]

DIVORCE RESOURCES, LAW, INFORMATION

Millennium Divorce

(Divorce site devoted to providing divorce information and help, developed and written by divorce lawyers and family law attorneys to answer your questions.)

Web Address: www.millenniumdivorce.com



Divorce in Ontario Canada

Comprehensive information on Canadian Divorce and Canadian Family Law, including child support, spousal support, division of property, and more.

Web Address: www.ottawadivorce.com



Divorce Source

(Everything imaginable from divorce laws in all 50 states, to support groups and resources.)

Web Address: www.divorcesource.com



Divorce Support

(Focusing on Counseling and Self Help. Supportive information about: divorce, child custody & support, visitation, separation, alimony & support, and divorce laws in all 50 states.)

Web Address: www.divorcesupport.com





Online Lawyer Source

(Provides legal information in family law including divorce, alimony, custody, child support, adoption, pre-nuptial agreements, family contracts related to property, etc. Find a lawyer near you.)

Web Address: www.onlinelawyersource.com





Better Divorce

(The Professional resource. Providing helpful divorce, custody, visitation and support information.)

Web Address: www.betterdivorce.com





Divorce Find

(Simplifying the divorce process. Services by state, forms, agreements, divorce FAQs, dictionary, laws, books, downloads, and message centers.)

Web Address: www.divorcefind.com







Click here to view our Other Important Links.



Even though the author is not affiliated with, nor endorsed by any person, company, or ministry listed in this section, we have been associated with or had experience with many of them through the years.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

I would be willing to bet that the lion's share of abusive husbands also are unfaithful, either via physical adultery or pornography usage. This is based upon the abusive man's view of women, as either someone beneath him or someone to get back at for the sins of other women in his past.

It troubles me that there is no direct authority for divorce in the case of abuse. However, I've talked to few pastors or Christian therapists that would counsel a woman to stay in an abusive situation. Those that have also espoused such holy opinions as "Christian rock is bad because it uses the same rhythms as tribal chants" etc. Meaning, reactionary, fear-laden legalism.

 

[Manna]

Oh, and Manna, your baby is gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Makes me feel like having another one!!!

Thank you! Sorry it took me so long to get to this post! If those are yours in your avatar, they're PRECIOUS!!!! =)