New on a journey looking for friends and community

[Faithful_Damaged_Soul]

Hi to everyone!

I'm Lina, 21 and from Germany. I was baptized into Catholicism but raised without faith or religion. My family looks down upon believers and blasphemious jokes are common. Until two years ago I was atheistic and very sinnful and completly lost.
I felt empty and it took me a long time to recognize my spiritual longing as Gods way of revealing himself to me, so that I can let him into my heart. Reading the Bible and the inspiring works of medieval Christian Mystics opened up a new path for me. Here I am now, I lost my old friends and have a difficult time finding new ones. I took a vow of celibacy and I'm in a state of deep contrition and feel Gods mercy through my penitence for my past sins. While I strongly identify with Catholicism, my mystic and more fringe beliefs are not mainstream anymore.

I don't regret changing my life for a relationship with Christ and am looking for friendship and meaningful talks. I'm always learning and trying to grow while I'm still at the beginning of my journey from darkness into union with God.

 

[Michie]

Welcome and God bless you on your journey. I hope you find the forums edifying to you.

 

[BeckyJ]

"my mystic and more fringe beliefs are not mainstream anymore"

Welcome to the group!

What do you mean by this part of what you said?

 

[caffeinated.hermit]

Welcome!

 

[linux.poet]

Welcome to CF!

 

[Faithful_Damaged_Soul]

Welcome to the group!

What do you mean by this part of what you said?

I fear modern as in mainstream Catholic beliefs have come to over emphasise legalism and the intellect. Like believing that God speaks to us through the mind instead of through our hearts or viewing sin only as a set of rules instead of anything that turns our hearts away from God.

I also believe that the (bodily) pain we endure - whether self inflicted or simply part of this life - should turn our hearts to the One who suffered for us. Jesus meets us right in our pain using it to bring about true healing and invites us deeper into communion with him. That's why pain shouldn't be avoided at all costs like fasting for example shouldn't just be a symbolic gesture.