New OCD...May Trigger Obsession.

[Ridgeback]

seajoy..... of course i forgive you, and i hope you forgive me if i sounded too harsh with you.....

we are supposed to be on here to lift each other up and i think we are all trying to do that but sometimes it comes out wrong....
each of us is fighting our own battle and need help in diff ways.... the people i respond to are usually people i feel need the same kind of help I needed, which was pretty specific with things pertaining to scriptures that scared me, so all i was trying to do is point those out, so we focus on the rebuttal of those and or explanations of them so they are no longer scary..... or at times with even WHAT i believed...
so, i only reply to those i think are or were somewhat like me..... like keryakos, jayangel, kicker, kaykay, robert, annrobert, caty. etc..... i cant tell you how many times things that they have said have comforted me about things when i needed it most.(thanks guys)




i
... and thats all i meant to do, i promise....
we are all GODS children and we will disagree, i was just hurt , and so i lashed out.. and im sorry....

pj

I want to apologize to you too. I was harsh with you and that was out of line. I'm sorry.

 

[keryakos]

speaking in the voice of JIM from Mark Twains Huckleberry Finn ..

" Thaz alright honey , weze all know how weze gets when we gets niff tree ..weze all dont reckon right and gets tangs muddlzed up like crick wata ..well dog my cats if i aint seen naw man aint got the roosta byze the toe when heze spoosed to be huntin rabbits .

weze be all right as da rain on jack henrys beard ..

butt if en yoze flap lip tooze much ..mizz watson el whips ya with a switch

so beeze good honey ..beeze good ..

 

[gracealone]

It's all ocd, Caty. Try and remember that for all obsessions....even the new ones.

Ditto!
Mitzi

 

[gracealone]

Thanks Rachel - for this level headed and sincere response.
I totally agree with everything you wrote.

I think that what happens with OCD wrestling with the difficulty we all experience in trying to be able to distinguish a legitimate question or concern from an OCD theme. If it's OCD we will quickly find out that no matter how many reassuring responses, affirming scriptures and encouraging statements we are given in regard to the theme that the nagging doubt/anxiety will remain and our focus on it will increase with each and every attempt to gain that FEELING of certainty. If the question is a legitimate one and we are given a reasoned answer for it then that answer should satiate the question, help to remove the doubt and we will be able to move on past it.
The key is to be totally honest with ourselves. Are we asking the questions to feed the demands of our OCD? Are we "checking" in response to that raging anxiety machine - "just this one more time" to make sure our faith is locked? Or are we calmly considering a real concern for which after we receive a reasonable answer we can let go of?
I'll confess something else to you too. OCD totally draws me to ask those questions over and over. I am drawn to the things that give me that "fix" of temporary reassurance. But the "fix" never lasts when it's OCD. The continual attention to the questions only makes my OCD more severe.
I love the Word of God. I can't live without it any more than I can live without food. But I refuse to use it in a compulsive way to feed my OCD.
Hope this applies to what's been discussed here. It's soooo incredibly confusing to discern the difference between "growing in knowledge" through the Word and using the Word to attempt to satiate an OCD theme. If intense anxiety and guilt are the motivators and if the answers don't make all that go away then I feel safe in labeling the question OCD.
OK.... the long winded and wordy one is finally done.
Thank you for your patience!
Mitzi

Hey all...am a bit confused - so what's new lol...but seriously I've just been reading this thread cos I haven't been around much for a while and I don't see that PJ posted anything wrong? It seemed that she wrote a compassionate response not a religous guilt trip one. I agree that one size doesn't fit all when it comes to treatment so different angles on OCD are good. Those different angles include Seajoy's valuable and faithful testimonial of how ERP has helped her and her deep commitment to encourage others to get help for their anxiety disorder rather than try and fix issues clouded by a chemically mixed up brain. It would be a deep shame for you to go away from here Seajoy...what you do here is valuable and how you do it shows you to be a compsassionate person. Sometimes it's easy to have a go at someone for faithfully bringing us back to what is the root problem in so many cases...ie an anxiety disorder called OCD. I know I struggle so much with believing that my concerns are to do with OCD and when people here say what I'm saying sounds like OCD I find that very helpful! Sometimes it has seemed like people are getting cross when others say the OCD needs treating but surely we all must feel at least a bit like our problem may be either caused or complicated by OCD or we wouldn't be posting here. We need people who will give us scripture like JayAngel, we need people who know about meds and treatments like Seajoy does, and others like her who are so much better thanks to treating the anxiety like Mitzi and Sad, we need empathy, wisdom and down to earthness in a Godly way from people like KayKay and we need all the other unique qualities people on here have and we need people who can say they understand even if they don't have a solution. I've mentioned a few names as examples; it's not meant to be an attempt to suck up to people but to show how we encourage one another with our different approaches and to hopefully encourage people that they are valued and needed. I might be way of track here and I'm sorry if I'm wrong but what with one thing and another here recently I wondered if maybe we could pray that God blesses this forum and strengthens our connections with each other...it would be sad if misunderstandings or differing viewpoints caused some to leave or not post much. Hope I haven't said anything out of turn...I just feel sad for anyone who feels got at or critisised here when mostly we are trying to support and help each other and find that same support and help ourselves. Clambering off my soapbox now...take care and please stay with us Seajoy...Rachel

 

[gracealone]

Oh NO!!
You can't leave... please don't go. We need the balance of differing views on the forum in order to cover all the bases.
Furthermore you are not only well liked you are well loved. I love you and I thank God for you my dear sister. I know your motives are pure and I understand the reasoning behind your posts.
So... come back sooner rather than later.... OK?
Mitzi
ps. OCD might demand perfection but those of us who are afflicted with it should not.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to PJ. In my haste, I quoted a poster who had really been slamming PJ. I noticed very quickly that I was wrong to do this (as I had not read PJ's post) and when I went back to delete my post, I was logged off CF, and unable to log back on. I was sure I had been banned from CF....especially after the 2 pm's I got from another member here in the OCD forum.

This has taught me a valuable lesson.....to really watch who I'm quoting, and why.

PJ, I hope you can fogive me for what I did. I will delete my earlier post.

I'll be taking a break from the OCD forum for a while. In the reponse I got in the PM's, I can see that I'm not so well-liked around here, as many things were said to me about my character. I'll leave you folks alone....and maybe come back at a later time.

I pray God's peace and blessings to everyone here.

 

[RachelZ]

Hey Mitzi you are so not long winded and wordy...you speak wisdom and comfort to us here! I would love to get to that place you speak of where I can truly feel safe in labelling certain things as OCD...the trouble is I worry that even legitimate fears would also carry a similar level of anxiety with them for me if it's something I don't want to be true. That makes it very difficult to let something go as OCD. For example, if someone suddenly wondered if they're partner was having an affair they might feel intense anxiety and fear but if the partner really WAS having an affair that anxiety would be justified. Does that make sense? So for example last night I though something regarding my relationship with my hubby and immediately felt that spike of anxiety and the feelings of dread if what I thought were the truth. But if it WAS true then it would be an awful thing to realise so wouldn't my anxiety be justified? Similaly, if God really is as scary as I fear He is then anxiety would be a good response for someone like me who is making Him angry. Sorry...I don't mean to diss your suggestion cos I know it's something many people use to determine if something is OCD or not...and I don't want my comments to make people worry. I just wish I could get to that place of acceptance...and maybe my inability to do so means that the plumb line used to determine an OCD thought/feeling shouldn't be used by me even though it is good for others.

Sorry Caty, not meaning to take over your thread...how are you doing at the moment?

Hope you're all well...take care, Rachel

PS I've re-read that and thought it might look like I was worried that MY hubby was having an affair which I'm not...it was just an example of something that might cause someone to be anxious.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Rachel,
I know, I know...."But what if!?!
We shall never be able to get proof for some things while we live here on earth. I married my husband with absolutely no proof that he would keep his vows to me. Now there certainly were indications that I could trust him but I married him because I chose to have faith in him. "We walk by faith not by sight". Same thing with God. We aren't able to point to some sort of scientific proof that God is love but we can observe things about His character that encourage us to choose to place our trust in Him. For me that thing is The Cross. The doubt filled questions that my OCD throws at me and the anxiety that they provoke cannot undo that which is really true. They may create a very intense level of uncertainty about these things but I have to say "so what" to that. My anxiety and my uncertaintly are not to be used as a measuring stick of what is true or not true. And all my wrestling with them does not change what really is or is not. It only serves to make me feel miserable inside and it is pointless. The wrestling that we do with OCD distracts us from attending to our real service to God in this very brief time we have on earth. We simply must attend to that service even with the phantoms of our OCD flitting around in our heads like bunch of angry hornets. What is - is. This moment in time is the only point at which our earthly activity touches eternity. We cannot move one inch into the past and we can't participate in tomorrow's events today. To attempt to do so is not only frustrating it's confusing and exhausting.
There are just some things that we must choose to believe in, to have faith in. God is asking us to consider the Cross as evidence of His love for us. He is asking us to place our trust in Him and to walk in faith. And for those of us with OCD He is asking us to leap off that ladder even while our anxiety and feelings of uncertainty are stabbing at us. We have to look our OCD right in the eyes and say.... "you know what I don't have time for you. Have a seat in the waiting room if you like but 'I must be about my Father's business. ' "
I can hear you saying...... "but what if I'm wrong?" To which I will reply - " *What if*" is a phantom that does not yet exist. It is a road not yet drawn on a map. How can I place my feet on a road that isn't even there? I cannot interact with something that isn't real."
Our best choice here is to choose faith over sight. To choose to follow the one who stepped into history and revealed just enough of Himself in order for us to count Him worthy of our trust. We follow Him because there is no one else, no other way, no other hope and no other truth that is deserving of faith other than Him. Faith is a chosen thing. If it were an automatic response than God wouldn't have bothered telling us over and over to "have faith".
There will be legitimate trials that we encounter in our life. But they only become legitmate when they actualize themselves. And at that moment we won't be fighting a phantom - but only at that moment. We must trust that God's grace will be sufficient for those things when and if they happen.
Praying for you,
Mitzi

Hey Mitzi you are so not long winded and wordy...you speak wisdom and comfort to us here! I would love to get to that place you speak of where I can truly feel safe in labelling certain things as OCD...the trouble is I worry that even legitimate fears would also carry a similar level of anxiety with them for me if it's something I don't want to be true. That makes it very difficult to let something go as OCD. For example, if someone suddenly wondered if they're partner was having an affair they might feel intense anxiety and fear but if the partner really WAS having an affair that anxiety would be justified. Does that make sense? So for example last night I though something regarding my relationship with my hubby and immediately felt that spike of anxiety and the feelings of dread if what I thought were the truth. But if it WAS true then it would be an awful thing to realise so wouldn't my anxiety be justified? Similaly, if God really is as scary as I fear He is then anxiety would be a good response for someone like me who is making Him angry. Sorry...I don't mean to diss your suggestion cos I know it's something many people use to determine if something is OCD or not...and I don't want my comments to make people worry. I just wish I could get to that place of acceptance...and maybe my inability to do so means that the plumb line used to determine an OCD thought/feeling shouldn't be used by me even though it is good for others.

Sorry Caty, not meaning to take over your thread...how are you doing at the moment?

Hope you're all well...take care, Rachel

PS I've re-read that and thought it might look like I was worried that MY hubby was having an affair which I'm not...it was just an example of something that might cause someone to be anxious.