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[Aspie34]

Hi all,
I am new to the forum, it was suggested to me by an amazing friend.

I need some advice, I have been a Christian for a long time but always struggle after some time in different settings. Now it all makes sense, I was diagnosed with Aspergers this year and feel hugely misunderstood. My current church act like I am invisible alot of the time, with my pastor engaging with me only on a good day. On a bad day he doesn't want to know.

I don't want to leave but am finding the situation very distressing now, to the point that I will leave if need be. It always reaches a point where people end up giving up on me, I guess cos they expect me to act like an NT, and don't understand.

Advice needed!!! Really need to try and get a handle on stuff but struggling big time spiritually at the moment. Sorry to harp on, needed to vent and hopefully connect with someone who understands.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi Aspie34, welcome to CF.
That's a fairly common experience with AS people.
I'm lucky because my AS isn't very bad so I've been able to learn to be around people and fit in. But its taken decades for me to learn that. I had to learn how NT people think and function. How small groups work and how big groups work. I've had to learn how to tell stories and not just talk about facts. I've had to look into peoples eyes till I feel comfortable with is and then learn to read their emotions well enough so I could sense when they are bored and walk away.

So I had obsessions with all the above things to figure them. I guess I was was able to have some control over what i was obsessed with.

Hope that helps.

 

[MoeSzyslak]

I don't attend church. After 20 years of failures I gave up trying. I definitely know what your going through but sorry i can't be of any help.

 

[timf]

Really need to try and get a handle on stuff but struggling big time spiritually at the moment.

Satan runs this world (for now and insofar as he is allowed by God). Satan is trying to move the world to global collectivism for his own purposes (he cannot be everywhere at once and needs to leverage his influence through collectivized systems). One result of this is that people are becoming more superficial. It is sad that this is happening now because Aspies do not do well with the superficial.

Forty or fifty years ago people would get into fist-fights over politics or religion. This was not noble in itself, but does reflect a time when what people thought was true or right was so important that they would fight for it. Today even the thought of such action is alien. The times we live in have replaced truth with feeling good. Now the biggest crime you can commit is to say something that makes someone feel bad.

This societal change further isolates Aspies. What is sad is that the worldly influence of superficiality has also permeated the church so that even things like doctrine are often not discussed. This leaves you the option of finding another Christian Aspie as a friend, learning how to engage in the superficial, or adjust to the isolation. Please feel free to PM me if I can be of any help.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Welcome to CF!

I'm sorry your having such a hard time with your church experience.

You don't need church to need God.

So I'd say find some friends and start a home bible study or something.

I'm praying for you.

 

[Sabertooth]

In the past, I found the best fit in Vineyard Churches and many Assemblies of God. I have never been, but have heard that Four Square Gospel has a similar feel to it.

Churches that embrace the baptism of the Holy Spirit seem to better adapt to Aspies, bypassing the inherent communication gap, but not always.

I like the preaching at our local Vineyard, but they have no means to manage my severely autistic 19yo daughter. I don't feel good about leaving her with a babysitter; excluding her from church.

 

[Letter Never Sent]

Sorry to hear. I know what you're going through, I've been there before, I'm quite invisible myself.

In first Corinthians chapter 12 Paul talks about the body and how the body is made up of many members. One person is a foot, another is a hand etc.

Many people assume that the pastor is the entire body personified. I found that usually the pastor is just a mouth and nothing more, that is he's good at public speaking. He is the mouth, the face, and sometimes even the head of the congregation but that does not necessarily mean he's the heart, or even an ear to listen.

Find the heart of the congregation. You're lucky being female you might be able to find a good caring women's ministry. But try to make it work where you are.

If not I would take Army Wife's advice and start your own little home Bible study.

If the church doesn't build an accessibility ramp they are by default excluding the physically handicapped. In my opinion if the church does not make a conscious effort to reach the autistic they are but by default excluding them.

 

[Sabertooth]

...

If the church doesn't build an accessibility ramp they are by default excluding the physically handicapped. In my opinion if the church does not make a conscious effort to reach the autistic they are but by default excluding them.

Good point.