new here...

[free4life]

Hi~

My name is Amber and I have been married for 3 and a half years. My situation is somewhat unique, in that my husband claims to be saved but I cannot see any change in him. Before we were married, we met at a Christian college and our bond seemed to grow in the Lord. I thought anyway, but I was very young and confused about a lot of things about God.

Anyway, after we were married my husband did not seem to have the same ideas or goals anymore. he didn't want to talk about God at all, or about living our lives for the Lord. (We were talking a lot before marriage about getting involved in Inner city ministry). I was SO hurt, and to be honest, it still hurts to an extent.

He refused to talk about anything spiritual, and denied that anything had changed.

Fast forward, now we have a 2 year old baby, and I am seeking help in cousneling. to my surprise, my husband is going to counseling as well.

It is so hard to be in a relationship like this, and although my husband says he is saved his attitude is very confusing. He will not call himself a Christian because he says it is "arrogant" and he also does not like me going to church. He doesn't go either. I think he dislikes me reading my Bible as well, and most anything "God-related" he might see me doing.

I am very thankful to have found this forum, as it seems to be almost "taboo" to talk to people about this.

I will be praying for everyone here.

It is only recently that the Lord has shown me how blessed I am in this position. It has brought me into a closer and much deeper relationship with the Lord!

God Bless You,
Amber

 

[brettnolan]

Does he allow you to go to church? If so, are there any support groups (and that can mean close friends) at your church that can pray with and for you?

Look around...I think you'll find lots of prayers and advice here.

 

[WashedClean]

Hi~

My name is Amber and I have been married for 3 and a half years. My situation is somewhat unique, in that my husband claims to be saved but I cannot see any change in him. Before we were married, we met at a Christian college and our bond seemed to grow in the Lord. I thought anyway, but I was very young and confused about a lot of things about God.

Anyway, after we were married my husband did not seem to have the same ideas or goals anymore. he didn't want to talk about God at all, or about living our lives for the Lord. (We were talking a lot before marriage about getting involved in Inner city ministry). I was SO hurt, and to be honest, it still hurts to an extent.

He refused to talk about anything spiritual, and denied that anything had changed.

Fast forward, now we have a 2 year old baby, and I am seeking help in cousneling. to my surprise, my husband is going to counseling as well.

It is so hard to be in a relationship like this, and although my husband says he is saved his attitude is very confusing. He will not call himself a Christian because he says it is "arrogant" and he also does not like me going to church. He doesn't go either. I think he dislikes me reading my Bible as well, and most anything "God-related" he might see me doing.

I am very thankful to have found this forum, as it seems to be almost "taboo" to talk to people about this.

I will be praying for everyone here.

It is only recently that the Lord has shown me how blessed I am in this position. It has brought me into a closer and much deeper relationship with the Lord!

God Bless You,
Amber

Hi Amber!

Welcome to this forum! I hope you find lots of love, advice and support here (as well as prayers, of course!)

My heart goes out to you. It must be very frustrating to be in this situation. I imagine it feels a little like you were betrayed or misled. Or maybe your husband was confused. How long was he a Christian before you met? Maybe he went through the motions of accepting Christ but his heart wasn't in it?

Anyway, it's great that you're both in counseling. I hope it's a Christian counselor though. Would your husband be willing to look around for a church he was comfortable in? Maybe a "seeker friendly" church? The fact that he doesn't even want to discuss the Lord or want you to read the Bible is disturbing. How about your daughter, does he want to bring her up with a Christian background?

The best thing to do is pray and ask every believer you know to pray for him. Be specific if you want. Also, I would pray for a hedge of protection around him to keep the enemy away. This may sound extreme, but it sounds like he's being influenced in some way.

I hope this helps a little bit. I'll be praying for you and your husband. Keep us posted.

Blessings in Christ,

WashedClean

 

[free4life]

Yes, he does allow me to go to church, but it isn't pleasant around the house. There is just a lot of tension. For now, he doesn't seem to care that I take my son with me to church, but he seems to be getting more and more agitated with the situation so I don't know what will happen in time.

Both of us grew up in Christian households, his family is Free Methodist. He has major issues with his family, but he is the type of person who will minimize problems and deny. He says he has dealt with those issues.

He has never told me exactly when he became a Christian. All I know is that he was very involved in his youth group during high school and read his Bible a lot, involved in Bible studies, prayer meetings, that sort of thing throughout high school and college. He seemed very passionate about the Lord. Of course, true salvation is what matters and that he will not go into detail with me about. He will get agitated and ask me how many times he has to explain it to me...yet he will not explain it.


We are both going to a Christian counselor. It has been wonderful for me. But it is hard at times because I find communication with my husband to be very difficult.

I don't know any other women in this situation so it is nice to see this forum up and running

Thanks for your warm welcome
Amber

 

[brettnolan]

How long did you know him before you were married?

I must say it sounds very odd that there wouldn't have been some warning signs along the way. Not that any of us ever pay attention to those.

I would echo WashedClean...PRAY PRAY PRAY! Then pray some more. Keep looking around at other posts, maybe you'll find a similar situation. In fact, it's more likely than not that you will.

 

[WashedClean]

Yes, he does allow me to go to church, but it isn't pleasant around the house. There is just a lot of tension. For now, he doesn't seem to care that I take my son with me to church, but he seems to be getting more and more agitated with the situation so I don't know what will happen in time.

Both of us grew up in Christian households, his family is Free Methodist. He has major issues with his family, but he is the type of person who will minimize problems and deny. He says he has dealt with those issues.

He has never told me exactly when he became a Christian. All I know is that he was very involved in his youth group during high school and read his Bible a lot, involved in Bible studies, prayer meetings, that sort of thing throughout high school and college. He seemed very passionate about the Lord. Of course, true salvation is what matters and that he will not go into detail with me about. He will get agitated and ask me how many times he has to explain it to me...yet he will not explain it.


We are both going to a Christian counselor. It has been wonderful for me. But it is hard at times because I find communication with my husband to be very difficult.

I don't know any other women in this situation so it is nice to see this forum up and running

Thanks for your warm welcome
Amber

Hi Amber,

First of all, I apologize for referring to "your daughter". I thought you had said that in your earlier post, but I guess you said "baby".

Anyway, it's interesting that you say your husband is from a Free Methodist background. I was raised Methodist and didn't know the Lord until I was 34 years old. Then I went back to the church I grew up in and stayed for about a year. I couldn't take it any more. No one really seemed to be on fire for the Lord and I was not being fed spiritually. Now I'm at a non-demom church and it's awesome.

I think Free Methodists are more liberal than United Methodists? My grandfather was a Methodist minister and I know that growing up, my grandfather was very strict - no cards, dancing, secular music, etc. Now the Methodist church is actually quite liberal. It really is very sad. I'm not trying to bash the Methodist denom, but you can see the effects of secular society over the past few decades.

Sorry, don't know where all that came from. I prayed for you last night and will continue to do so. Whenever you need support, please feel free to come here (after you pray of course!). I'm glad you are seeking advice from Christian counselors. I would continue doing that if possible. Just keep your eyes focused on Jesus.

In Christ's Love,

WashedClean

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Hi~

My name is Amber and I have been married for 3 and a half years. My situation is somewhat unique, in that my husband claims to be saved but I cannot see any change in him. Before we were married, we met at a Christian college and our bond seemed to grow in the Lord. I thought anyway, but I was very young and confused about a lot of things about God.

Anyway, after we were married my husband did not seem to have the same ideas or goals anymore. he didn't want to talk about God at all, or about living our lives for the Lord. (We were talking a lot before marriage about getting involved in Inner city ministry). I was SO hurt, and to be honest, it still hurts to an extent.

He refused to talk about anything spiritual, and denied that anything had changed.

Fast forward, now we have a 2 year old baby, and I am seeking help in cousneling. to my surprise, my husband is going to counseling as well.

It is so hard to be in a relationship like this, and although my husband says he is saved his attitude is very confusing. He will not call himself a Christian because he says it is "arrogant" and he also does not like me going to church. He doesn't go either. I think he dislikes me reading my Bible as well, and most anything "God-related" he might see me doing.

I am very thankful to have found this forum, as it seems to be almost "taboo" to talk to people about this.

I will be praying for everyone here.

It is only recently that the Lord has shown me how blessed I am in this position. It has brought me into a closer and much deeper relationship with the Lord!

God Bless You,
Amber

Hi Amber,

My thoughts and prayers are with you! Although my situation is not exactly like yours I can relate to the fact that there is tension each time you choose to go to church. I have a similar thing here too.

Keep encouraged though - if there is one thing that we're sure of it's the fact that the L-rd will smoothe the way for us.

G-d bless you!
LP