New Here

[UnwantedSunshine]

Hi everyone. I'm new here, but not new to SI. I'm 30 years old and I've been cutting myself for about 20 years. It's pathetic, I know. I've been trying to cope with all of this, but it doesn't work so well. Lately I've been having more and more urges and I feel too weak to fight them.
I guess all this stems from an abusive childhood and trying so hard to be perfect so people will at least like me, maybe.
I just don't know what to do anymore, where to turn or who to trust. I don't have many friends and my relationship with my family is dysfunctional at best. I feel like I'm all alone. Just looking for someone to understand.
Thanks for listening.

 

[Criada]

I'm sorry you are struggling sister.
It isn't pathetic - it's a coping strategy, and it's got you through 20 years! It's not the best, but you are still here, and that's what matters. Is there anyone you can talk to - a pastor or counselor perhaps, who can help you find new strategies to deal with the feelings, so you don't need to cut?

I know it's hard - I've been cutting on and off for almost 30 years, but I am beginning to find alternatives, and it is possible
It's a journey, and you've taken a big step posting here and asking for support.

I will be praying for you, and if you need a listening ear, my PM box is always open (you'll need 15 posts to Pm, but it's easy to do that in the games forums )

 

[UnwantedSunshine]

Thanks. I haven't been to a therapist in quite a while, about a year now. I was in a theraputic group home but I got tired of all the drama there and decided to get my own apartment. So I've pretty much been by myself. My sister and the boys come a lot, but other than that Im alone.
Sometimes it feels like it is too much and the silence and lonliness gets to me.
Thanks for the kind reply.

 

[graciesings]

I am praying for you
I am only a teenager but I know how you feel. It seems like it would be easy to stop cutting but not exactly...
Do you cut more when you're lonely? I always do. It took me a long time to learn that God is with me everywhere. I don't really need to be lonely! Even now I still cry because I want a hug sometimes, but my faith has helped the loneliness a lot.
I am really hoping you get better. Remember that God made you beautiful. And I think if He wanted you to have scars he would have put them there.
Oh, and welcome to Christian Forums. Feel free to send me a message if I can be of any help, or if you just want to talk.

 

[theOriginalJust4Jesus]

Hi everyone. I'm new here, but not new to SI. I'm 30 years old and I've been cutting myself for about 20 years. It's pathetic, I know. I've been trying to cope with all of this, but it doesn't work so well. Lately I've been having more and more urges and I feel too weak to fight them.
I guess all this stems from an abusive childhood and trying so hard to be perfect so people will at least like me, maybe.
I just don't know what to do anymore, where to turn or who to trust. I don't have many friends and my relationship with my family is dysfunctional at best. I feel like I'm all alone. Just looking for someone to understand.
Thanks for listening.

I am so sorry if you need someone to talk to I am here and so many others