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[depression]

Dear friends.

i think christians are somewhat the righteous people. I wish to be a faithful christian just like all of you, who praise so much about God.
I believe in God, although i don't really know much about him, or Jesus, though i go to calvary church every sunday when i was a kid, now i dont.

every time i think about god, i wanted to tell him that i'm sorry, and always seek for help. To bring me light. and i wish i can be less depressive at least.

I feel desparate, and no one could help me. or i made myself believe that no one can help me. i felt that way, and really, its not to be understood. I wanted to tell people. BUt, I really don't know how, or even is that what i want. I feel trapped. and lost.

I want to share my depression worries and problems. I stumbled onto this site. I think christians are family, since i am also one, but a failure one.

I hope the administrator here don't delete my message. I am not insane. I am really desparate, and hopeless now. every word that i'm typing, i am crying inside my heart. I need help, i don't need physical help, but just a listening hear.
I wish, i pray, GOD is listening. every nite i prayed. i prayed for peace.

Life is difficult, no matter how easy people think it can be, it may be difficult. I grew up as a problematic boy. I have good parents, I have a good home, I have food to eat. But i am prone to sadness.
I feel sad all the time.

I think there are just different stages in life, that all sums up to be anendless jounery to nothing, to feeling sad. When i was young, i like toy cars, comics. I am a mummy's boy, but my stuffs were stolen in school, and i was depressed. My friends weren't friends, because maybe i wasn't powering enough. I had two good childhood friends. They left. When I was a teen, i hardly had the right friends too. and i feel left out by the competition of "status" of coolness. i lost out, i don't have it. at some time, there is a competition for BGR, got a gf for 5 yrs and i failed too, didn't work out. When I became older, the competiton got worse in looking good and trendy. I failed, coz i had bad zits, till now. I feel into major depression, anxiety, and was diagonised with possibly OCD and severe depression. People remind me all the time, how left out i am. Currently, i am in the working soceity, another stage in life, and seeing every ONE around me is having success in life. Doing the right things, making the biggest bucks? I start to stress myself, IS MONEY EVERYTHING, OR IS MY MONEY NOT MY MONEY BUT GOD'S MONEY? A million people can try to tell me that, nope money is not everything. I certainly want to feel so too, but what has the world becoming to?

I FEELLL THAT I am a failure in all aspects of life. All stages. Its a race, that I am FAR LEFT BEHIND. I CANNOT WIN THE RACE, AND I REALLY DONT WANT TO. I REALLY DON'T WANT. BUT I FEEL DEPRESSED AND FAILED. I FELT LIKE I'VE LOST. I WANT TO TURN TO GOD, BUT I AM UNABLE TO DO SO.

i wish god will forgive me.

all i wish in life was to really be a simple person, like each and everyone of you who is reading this.

every one tells me the same,
"everyone has problems. its how you handle them? god will help u. "
yes. but.

I wish there will be more people. AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE... to understand that DEPRESSION IS AT LEAST EQUALLY REGARDED AND COMPARED TO PHYSICAL ILLNESS.

Just because the people who donate money and give their pityness are mentally sound, they refuse to understand there are sad people.

doesn't mean that a person who is averagely well to do means he should be happy. it doesn't work that way.

happiness is a feeling. and feeling sometimes in certain suitations cannot be controlled over by physical events.

i pray to God, that one day i will be at least like one of you guys.

 

[OBEY]

i feel exactly the same way. i am in high school and all my friends (at least i used to think they were my friends) are gone. i think about all my failures and my inability to speak to those have started going to wrong path. i tried to hard to be the buddy and not the friend... and i've let others suffer for that. i'm beginning to realize now that little decisions have led me to where i am now... and it's the little decisions that determine the future. i want some day to be better than this. i guess i can't offer you advice but just let you know that you're not the only one who feels this way.

-joel

 

[hopper]

Not to make you even more depressed, but depression can be a life-long struggle caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, that is definately a physical issue.

Some very great people in history, including Abraham Lincoln, have faced this daily struggle and led quite productive lives.

Cling to God, your Creator, and the best friend any of us has. He knows your struggle, has created you to endure, and loves us in ways and with purposes we can't often see.

 

[InTheFlame]

Hi... I agree with hopper!

Look... the world sets us up for failure. It tells us that we need to be physically young and beautiful, when everyone ages and wrinkles. It tells us we need material wealth and possessions, when those things can be destroyed so easily - and we always want more because they'll never make us happy. It tells us we need the admiration of as many people as possible, but human hearts are fickle and being 'in' one minute is no guarantee of not being 'out' the next.

We live in the physical world, where everything changes from one second to the next and nothing can be depended upon, nothing is truly solid and unchanging. Things rust and fall apart and die and burn.

The thing is... there's another world we live in, too. The spiritual world is firm. Our souls are eternal. The love of our God is unchanging and will always be there for every one of us. Treasures stored up in the spiritual realm last forever. What sort of treasures? Learning to trust in God. Love towards fellow human beings. Becoming the person God created us to be. These are the sort of things that no-one can ever steal from us or destroy.

God loves you. Before anyone considered that you might one day exist, God had created a blueprint for your body, your mind and your soul. When the time came, he put you together cell by cell and breathed life into you. He hovers over you every second of your life, crying when you're sad, smiling when you're happy. He sees into the dark, nasty horrible parts of your heart and he sees past that to the person you can still be. He celebrates your mere existence. He longs to set your feet on the path to follow him. He knows your needs and your deepest desires, and he wants to fulfil them.

Depression is sometimes a physical thing, sometimes a mental thing, and sometimes both. My experience has been that God has helped me work through the problems in my life, and that has lessened my depression. He has given me the strength to keep going through the depression. Sometimes God heals people of depression. Sometimes all they needed to do was come to him and give up their life to him. But sometimes he doesn't heal it, and I don't think this is favouritism. I believe sometimes God lets some of us go through depression all of our lives, and this makes us stronger people. I don't know why we have to go through THAT to get stronger. But I figure everyone has their struggles, and everyone can grow in their struggles or give up. I know God's with me through my struggles and I know he'll make sure there's never more than I can deal with, so I just try to trust in Him. I figure one day maybe I'll understand exactly why I've gone through every little thing. Boy do I look forward to that day

 

[TheMainException]

My dear friend...I have depression too...I'm slowly coming out of the fog and pain that it brings, but it's hard. God has already forgiven you. He died for you on the cross. He is there for you. It may not feel like it, but he's there and he loves you. He is listening to every word, every breath you breathe in and every breath you breathe out. He wants to get to know you better and better everyday, even if you only spend a couple seconds thinking about him. Life isn't simple, it's the hardest thing i've ever found out about. It's only simple around the age of -9 months to 0 months (while in the womb)...after that, everything changes and you start to realize that this world s-cks like crazy. Don't pray to be like one of us...pray to be like a child of God, pray that you might find peace in the midst of your suffering...for to be like us is no different from where you are now. It all is horrid. God loves you my dear friend...truth be told, I love you too....may love resound deep within you dear friend of mine. I'll listen until I go deaf...come and PM me....anything you wanna say, say to me, I won't reject a single word. With love, Lauren

 

[takerisks]

I have depression and OCD too. The medications totally help me. It could just be an imbalance. I feel like you a lot. I just wish I could experience what other "successful" christians feel like for one day. How they rejoice and celebrate and smile genuinely. I feel lonely cause I totally don't relate to them in any way. Hang in there, one day there won't be such a stigma associated with depression.
Liz