new here. need advice desperately

[bonniejo.r]

i am in the darkest period of my life. my boyfriend is hooked on cocaine and told me yesterday he wants me out of the house. last august i quit my job, gave up my bank account because he wanted me to be home to take care of him since we were talking about marriage. i have no family and all my friends are his. i had a life before him, but i never really dated. i prayed for God to send me my husband and honestly believed he was the one. now i have nothing, no where to go and i’m scared to death. i keep reading scriptures on fear and trusting God but my thought overwhelm me. the only thing that has keep me going are my 3 cats that we got together when then were born. now he is taking them away from me too. i feel like i want to die sometimes and need encouragement to move forward and not be afraid. i had been alone my whole life before him and now because of his anger i am alone again. i can’t stop crying and i keep repeating bible. verses about trust but i’m having a hard time getting them into my heart. I love Jesus so much and i trust He will lead me through this but the bad thoughts won’t go away. please help

 

[HereIStand]

That sounds awful. I'm sorry for the situation you're in. Try reaching out to your church. God bless.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi; good to see you.

Bible reading and prayer and trusting in the Person and Work of the Lord Jesus = good and helpful.

BF addicted to cocaine who doesn't want you anyway = not helpful.

 

[dqhall]

i am in the darkest period of my life. my boyfriend is hooked on cocaine and told me yesterday he wants me out of the house. last august i quit my job, gave up my bank account because he wanted me to be home to take care of him since we were talking about marriage. i have no family and all my friends are his. i had a life before him, but i never really dated. i prayed for God to send me my husband and honestly believed he was the one. now i have nothing, no where to go and i’m scared to death. i keep reading scriptures on fear and trusting God but my thought overwhelm me. the only thing that has keep me going are my 3 cats that we got together when then were born. now he is taking them away from me too. i feel like i want to die sometimes and need encouragement to move forward and not be afraid. i had been alone my whole life before him and now because of his anger i am alone again. i can’t stop crying and i keep repeating bible. verses about trust but i’m having a hard time getting them into my heart. I love Jesus so much and i trust He will lead me through this but the bad thoughts won’t go away. please help

You might have to start over without him. It appears like you have been used and abused. There are government social services and private charities that might help. If you are broke, you may be eligible for SNAP (food stamps). There are some short term emergency shelters. There are waiting lists at some of t them. Looks like you may need to look for a job again. I do not know your specific circumstances, but you may need to seek charity in your community or go to a community that can help. Addicts and alcoholics can not always be counted on for fidelity in relationships. <staff edit>

 

[Chinchilla]

I don't know your situation but maybe he did not mean that just cocaine could create that hunger and anger in him . <staff edit> It was not your fault , meanwhile getting back your bank account asap and trying to find any job then moving out . <staff edit>

Of course if he is beating you or forcing you to take drugs you should leave him immediately and ignore what I said above .
Also when you find job take these 3 cats with you too don't let them with that guy and cheer up It will be okay .

 

[bonniejo.r]

he blames me for his drug use. says he isn’t an addict but i looked up the affects of smoking crack n it’s bad. he said i hid from him which i did because at the time i didn’t know it was drugs. his moods would go crazy. one minute saying he loves me then blowing up at me for no reason. i know i have to leave him it’s the unknown ahead of me. i’m almost 52 and been trying to find a job that will support me. it’s hard at my age. i regret even dating him now. apparently he had a pill problem b4 me which i didn’t know about. my therapist said i met him in between addictions. if i had known i wouldn’t even considered going out with him. no one in his life but me knows about his crack addiction. it’s to the point he carries his pipe with him now. the only silver lining is he leaves for weeks at a time but when he does come home i try to be nice but he is always high n angry. i don’t want to be around him anymore but am so scared that i will end up homeless or worse. i do have a interview tomorrow that came out of no where. i have no experience in the field but God put in my heart to fill out an application n i got a call back the next day. i’m trying to go moment to moment but the worst is at night. i keep christian radio on all night so The Lords words are with me when i sleep. thank you all for your prayers. it helps me not feel so alone

 

[Albion]

does the therapist have recommendations to make about help you could get from a variety of social service organizations?

 

[bonniejo.r]

going to stay with a girlfriend this weekend. she kmows about addiction to drugs. she told me,it’s not my fault. so i will:have at least a night of security. she has known him for 18 years. she told me it’s the coke ams i can stay with her the weekend. her stepdaughter has an addiction to heroine so she understands. she is a gift from God. i hope,i can get the strength to get thru this

 

[Valetic]

going to stay with a girlfriend this weekend. she kmows about addiction to drugs. she told me,it’s not my fault. so i will:have at least a night of security. she has known him for 18 years. she told me it’s the coke ams i can stay with her the weekend. her stepdaughter has an addiction to heroine so she understands. she is a gift from God. i hope,i can get the strength to get thru this

God will provide. I believe you ARE strong. I've seen it myself too - the world just takes away good things from us. They lose the sight of what's precious in life and are lost in the world and all it has to offer. Truly one of the most heart breaking things I have to witness is this. It's like the actual throwing away of life itself. That it's all meaningless and fruitless to said person. There is no hope, there is no joy for that person. But in the grand scheme of things, God has a plan, God has a purpose for you and it is rooted in Christ. So now we keep our sights on things not of this world, but instead on that which is eternal.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

This thread has been moved from Testimonies to Depression Disorders.

Please review our Recovery Guidelines and Statement of Purpose if you've never posted in this forum before responding. Thanks!​

 

[Jeshu]

It is awful what you are going through sister but with The Lord you can get through it. Please do keep you eyes on Him. Is there a Church in your life? Often times we can find good God loving people there to support and comfort us. People on the depression forum can pray for you as well and possibly support you when you are going through a dip.

Praying God brings someone to comfort and support you in your difficult life.

Much love

 

[bonniejo.r]

thank you for all your prayers. I am getting much better. God has opened 2 doors for. i have another place to live till i get back on my feet and i got a call back on a job i was been wanting. Jesus is so awesome the way He works. My soul is being healing and I feel His love surrounding me now all the time. I am on His path and have inner peace about my life and futures. God Bless