New Guy!

[Boy Wonder]

Hey all, i'm new!

Wow... this place is cool...

heh... heh...

I'm always bad at braking the ice at new places!

Oh! How about a joke?

The Argument

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better at
using the computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of
hearing all the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up
a test which will take two hours and it will judge who does the
better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They sent faxes.
They sent e-mail.
They sent out e-mail with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did some genealogy reports.
They made cards.
They did every known job.

But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across
the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and of course, the electricity
went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed
every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their
computers. Satan started searching frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's
all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past
two hours.

Satan observed this and became even more irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did
he do it??!!"

(You'll love the punch line....)

God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves".

Is this too long?

If you want to hear some puns tell me!

 

[amie]

Hi Boy Wonder!
Amie

 

[amie]

Oh I forgot....good joke!
Amie

 

[Boy Wonder]

So? Puns? Yes or No?

 

[amie]

Of course!!!! PUNS

 

[Boy Wonder]

NO PUN IN TEN DID

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.


4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and surrenders them for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the Picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, there by proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

.... Huh? What? Oh, ya... Starting to doze off!

So... How did you like em? Did they make you sick ?
If so... Sorry!

Or did you like em ?
If so... Then, Thank you, thank you!

 

[Boy Wonder]

How do i get the bars up?

ya know, the bars to the side... How do i get them up? Remeber i [GLOW=crimson]AM[/GLOW] new!





sleeeeeeeeppp.....

 

[Blackwing]

Hi boy wonder and welcome here!!!!

 

[fieldmouse3]

Hi....those are some great puns...by the way, are you the same Boy Wonder that's on the LB Movie MB?

 

[Warchant Warrior]

yo im a new guy too...so welcome!

 

[oncewaslost]

Originally posted by fieldmouse3
Hi....those are some great puns...by the way, are you the same Boy Wonder that's on the LB Movie MB?

yup, i think he is. i think i talked him into coming

 

[oncewaslost]

welcome boy wonder!

 

[Boy Wonder]

Thank you all! i'm going to join some add-on storys now!

 

[dolphin03]

Welcome to the forum Wonder boy and Warchant Warrior , (great joke!) haha..

 

[Boy Wonder]

Thank you!

 

[Blynn]

Hi Boywonder,


Welcome to the forum. I am glad that you are here.


Keep posting your bars will go up.



God bless,
Roberta

 

[lucypevensie]

Hi BoyWonder! I especially liked the Jesus saves one

 

[Boy Wonder]

What about the [GLOW=limegreen]Green[/GLOW] Popularity bar?

 

[lucypevensie]

You can read about the green popularity bar in the faqs. That will explain everything far better than I ever could.

 

[Boy Wonder]

Oh! thanks! I get it now!