New Every Morning

[ebenessence]

PORN: Day 1
MB: Day 1

Hi everyone,

I decided to join this forum because I need a community of believers that I can keep accountable with. This world is way too saturated with sexual temptations and lies for us Christians to have to fight by ourselves; as one Body we must band together, strapped with the shield of faith, to relinquish the flaming darts that are constantly raining down on us (Eph. 6:16).

I'm also here because I want to be free from pornography forever. Studies have shown that pornography alters the brain, making us not only addicted to it, but also desensitized to the pleasures around us (including actual sex).

It has been many years since I've seriously tried to achieve purity. After having experienced a great deal of failures, I gave up my quest almost entirely during the latter years of college. Coupled with a wavering faith, I became a contented mb-er and heavy user of pornography. It wasn't until this past school year that the Lord brought me back to Him in a powerful way, opening my eyes to how desperately I need Him in my life. God has saved me, and as a token of my appreciation I want to show Him that I trust His Word and choose to apply it in every aspect of my life, including my sexuality.

Finally, last but not least, I'm back here because I still have hopes that I'll be able to experience a wetdream in the process. The sites above state that it takes up to 3 months for our brains to be purged from the debilitating effects of pornography. So I will start all of my posts with the number of consecutive days I've been porn-free. I will also post the number of days I've been mb-free, even though I don't necessarily see mb-ing as a sin -- rather as another aspect of my life that I could learn to control and, of course, to rekindle the hope of having a wetdream. Here's to our savior, whose mercies are indeed new every morning; great is His faithfulness.

 

[ebenessence]

PORN: Day 2
MB: Day 2

Hi everyone, I'm currently reading a book called Trusting God by Jerry Bridges and wanted to share a passage that has been particularly helpful to me recently. It's from the subheading "Humility" from the last chapter of the book, "Giving thanks always."

"The immediate connection of the thoughts in I Peter 5:6-7 should be encouraging to us in times of adversity. The two verses say:

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

On the one hand we are to humble ourselves under God's mighty hand -- an expression equivalent to submitting with a spirit of humility to God's sovereign dealings with you. And on the other hand, we are to cast our anxieties on Him knowing that He cares for us. The anxieties, of course, arise out of the adversities that God's mighty hand brings into our lives. We are to accept the adversities but not the anxieties.

Our tendency is just the opposite. We seek to escape from or resist the adversities but all the while cling to the anxieties that they produce. The way to cast our anxieties on the Lord is through humbling ourselves under His sovereignty and then trusting Him in His wisdom and love" (emphasis added).

One of the most difficult things about purity for me is accepting the adversity it brings into my life, as well as trusting in God's wisdom and power. As the text says, I either tend to escape the adversity by succumbing to my desires, or I start worrying excessively about the whole process (which usually results in giving up the quest for purity). Instead, I must learn how to "accept the adversities but not the anxieties."

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4)