kenwsmith
Member
Some thoughts on this very common problem (speaking as a man):
(1) sexual desire, including sexual release, are part of God's plan and are interwoven with a lot of very positive, pleasurable emotions. For good reasons!
(2) sexual lust, including fantasies about sex with someone with whom you are not married, is wrong and harmful. It is harmful to ourselves -- and indirectly, eventually to women in our lives.
(3) God is constantly, through the Holy Spirit and the forgiveness available through Jesus, slowing changing our selfishness and sin into something beautiful. Some of this change occurs in the close community of other believers, the "Church".
Given that, I think most Christian men have to find the right path through the tension between observations (1) and (2) above. Many single men (and many husbands away from their wives) touch, while still seeking to avoid lust or inappropriate sexual fantasy. I'd say more -- but there is a tendency for each person to tell you what works for them -- and each of us is a little different.
In the light of observation (3) -- find a small group of Christian men with whom you can be relatively honest and accountable. When you sin, seek God's forgiveness -- and accept that forgiveness (!) and move on, seeking constructive improvement in your Christian walk as you enjoy His grace and love.
yours,
Ken
(1) sexual desire, including sexual release, are part of God's plan and are interwoven with a lot of very positive, pleasurable emotions. For good reasons!
(2) sexual lust, including fantasies about sex with someone with whom you are not married, is wrong and harmful. It is harmful to ourselves -- and indirectly, eventually to women in our lives.
(3) God is constantly, through the Holy Spirit and the forgiveness available through Jesus, slowing changing our selfishness and sin into something beautiful. Some of this change occurs in the close community of other believers, the "Church".
Given that, I think most Christian men have to find the right path through the tension between observations (1) and (2) above. Many single men (and many husbands away from their wives) touch, while still seeking to avoid lust or inappropriate sexual fantasy. I'd say more -- but there is a tendency for each person to tell you what works for them -- and each of us is a little different.
In the light of observation (3) -- find a small group of Christian men with whom you can be relatively honest and accountable. When you sin, seek God's forgiveness -- and accept that forgiveness (!) and move on, seeking constructive improvement in your Christian walk as you enjoy His grace and love.
yours,
Ken
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