New Chrisitian needs help with Lust.

Hey man, firstly you are by no means alone in this issue.

My best advice is to plan for the battle when you can. When you are feeling strong and not tempted examine yourself and the reasons/means by which you fall, and make steps to combat those things. For example, get rid or your modem, or make plans to do something else at the time you'd normally be tempted (go for a walk).

This is all building on Jesus' guideline from Matthew 5:30 "And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away."

Praying for you.
JJ

First of all, don't let all that guilt lead you to feelings of self-hate or condemnation. If you are a new Christian, you may not be able to turn things off like a light switch and just move on like nothing happened. The devil uses sexual matters to make people hate themselves and feel unworthy. The only way you'll really let God and yourself down is if you let this condemnation pull you into a guilt cycle that leads to discouragement and even doubt.

Also, addictions can be physical too, where your brain is craving the dopamine that it gets from porn/masturbation. Quitting smoking is often done though a process, not cold turkey. I'm not an expert, but this I do know: worry about your relationship with God first. Pray for a way out, and be willing to work it over time. There's also a Porn addiction support forum here that may help. I'll say a prayer for you.

Hey dear brother, and congrats with your new Faith in Christ!
I understand how you feel, I'm in the exact same situation.

Like suggested, I think you should be impulsive, so as soon as your lust tries to seduce you, quickly get out of the situation by taking a walk outside etc. Lust is a very difficult thing to deal with, ESPECIALLY when you are born-again Christian just like me, who used to have a rather, dirty sexual life.

This is one of the most important things and most dangerous especially when you're new to faith. Please don't do like me, and give in.
If you (like me) keep giving in, I think you will be come to a point ,where it no longer feels wrong. And when it no longer feels wrong, that's when you start to lose faith.

hope it helped brother. Jah Bless.

Do not think that i am judgeing you i have struggled with this same issue since puberty and i have just recently got total victory.

Firs things First.
1. it is awesome that both you and your girlfriend have come to Christ. that means that you can take this journy to gether. so Marry her. because there is no such thing as dating in the bible. You are eather her brother in Christ or her Husband. She is ether your Wife or hands off. lol. physlical contact before marrage harms a relationship. and since you both have become Christian demons will use the open dore of physical contact to try to seperate you. So you really need to get your relationship sanktified by God in marrage. There also may be issues after you get married if you have come together before marrage. My church has excellent free marrage counceling for all these issues but its in Denver Colorado. but whatever you do dont let the enemy seperate you two because you are stronger together.

2. touching yourself is not a sin. Lust is a sin. Lust is when you look at a woman with an evil desire in your heart. The hormones are natural and they will not go away but the evil desire to see a woman who is not your wife naked is demonically inspired and it is allot ezer to get rid of when you know its a demon not you. its just a demon that wants to lust after human women threw your eyes. If it was you you would not be trying to stop it. When you are tempted to lust just touch without the lust and move on to other things. lol. You can also assert your own will by stating saying something like "I Choose to Be Holy, I hate lust, shut up and leave".
as you get rid of your lust demons you will still notice women but you wont stare because you are no longer demonically inspired.

3. Sin that we hide is empowered and is not repented for. Find a real Believer that you can trust to comfes your sin to. It can even be your girlfriend if she is mature enough to not turn your comfession into drama. You don't have to talk about your sin or pray about it you just have to comfess it. i usually comfess by text message or facebook. but i havnt sinned for about a month now and i know i never will again. lol
read 1 John 1:5 The word of God will give you assurence of forgiveness...Choose to stand on it.
So just comfess your sin every time you sin right after you sin and forget about it because God has forgotten about it.

4. it is very difficult to stop sinning when you think about sin. In fact determination not to sin is still thinking about sin. So after you comfes your sin focus your life on seeking God out, He is hideing for us not from us. If you let yourself be consumed with a pasion to seek Him out you will find that you simply don't have time to sin. You cant do two things at once.

The best way to seek God is to read His Word wich is the bible and the best translation is the NASB do not read the message.

also check out Heidi Baker, and Bill Johnson out on Youtube. it helps to see someone who really knows God. It builds faith that He can be found.

Check out this youtube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jm8BIAEAR7k

Ok sweet. Be encoraged brother and Run your Race to Win the Prize.

Mathew 5:30 is a statement from our lord Jesus Christ to show us how big an issue our sin is.

but decapitating yourself is only senceble if you have given into sin and allready lost the battle with the demons.

the problem is not our physical body, the problem is the demonic trying to influence us.

So basically what Jesus is Telling us is to seperate ourselves from the Demonic even if it feels like the demonic is a part of who we are.

because the demonic is allready judged and will burn in hell. but God has offered us grace threw His only Begotten Son Jesus Christ.

Nathaniel Ellis said:

2. touching yourself is not a sin. Lust is a sin. Lust is when you look at a woman with an evil desire in your heart. The hormones are natural and they will not go away but the evil desire to see a woman who is not your wife naked is demonically inspired and it is allot ezer to get rid of when you know its a demon not you. its just a demon that wants to lust after human women threw your eyes. If it was you you would not be trying to stop it. When you are tempted to lust just touch without the lust and move on to other things. lol. You can also assert your own will by stating saying something like "I Choose to Be Holy, I hate lust, shut up and leave".
as you get rid of your lust demons you will still notice women but you wont stare because you are no longer demonically inspired.

Click to expand...

I don't know that I would phrase it exactly this way, but I mostly agree. In the circumstances you describe, I don't see what you are doing as "sin" at all, or if so as "sin" that is basically the equivalent of driving 67 mph in a 65 mph zone. There is unquestionably a difference between the lust that can become an impairment to your relationship with God and the sort of activity that you are describing. If what you are describing is the actual extent of the problem, I would agree with Nathaniel to do what you have to do and move on. Worrying excessively about it is more likely to impair your relationship with God.

(An awful lot of people with 1, 2 or 3 posts on CF seem to have a "masturbation problem," which I think makes many people suspicious that these are prank posts. Hopefully yours is sincere.)

Ok. looking at a picture of a woman while you touch is sin. Because it is Lust.

Masterbating without any visuals is not a sin because it is not lust.

about 99% percent of all guys touch. every guy know s what happens if you go for long periods of time without release.

When Jesus said if your right hand causes you to sin cut it off. he was not talking about touching yourself. They had no computers or photographs back then. when He reffered to the eye He reffered to lust, when he reffered to the Hand he reffered to adulturey or any other sin you could commit.

this is all from a guys perspective i have no clue what its like for a woman. woman are wired totally different. women are tempted with romance novels. men are tempted with lust.

I'm a 23 year old single male, and I have problem in this area too. When you pray, don't just ask God to take away the lust, but to send his Holy Spirit to help you deal with this problem. Be very conscious of yourself when the feeling come, and don't be angry or resentful at the feeling, otherwise you'll give power to that other spirit. Don't lose yourself, or get caught up in the feelings like guys do watching sport on television. By patiently observing and being still, you'll see the Holy Spirit at work in you with this problem. The Spirit need you to get out of the way so it can give you true self control.

Hey dude. It's great that you have come to faith in Christ! Same thing is happening with me, man. 3 days without, 4th day, the temptations are too much. Asked for forgiveness too many times today. I know pornography addictions are extremely dangerous. Already got caught with this sin twice today. It's terrible. At least it is encouraging to know that there are better days for the both of us up ahead if we get through the guilt mess and truly repent!

sorry for the lol. i was being disrespectfull. God is diciplineing me. i wish there was a way to erase posts.

Dear Brother,I would encourage you to check out the anti-porn site...mychainsaregone.org
&& regarding masturbation,it indeed is a gray area..Have a talk with your pastor!!!

I have the same problem but I believe touching yourself is a Sin even if your not using any Visuals. You touch because you want to feel the feeling it gives. It is Lust.

HeavenlyFather...Ty said:

Hello, I registered to this forum because my girlfriend, and I have become christian lately, October 24th to be exact.

Before Oct 24th, I lost my virginity, and was addicted to masturbation and pornography and I am trying to kick that habit, but its really really hard, especially since its so easily accessible. I usually can go 4-5 days without masturbation, but when I hit that 5th day, it just takes over me. I do my best but I can't control it, I always break down later on in the day, and I feel really really guilty afterward. I pray and ask forgiviness sincerely, but I think its gotten to the point that I've asked for forgiveness way to many times, and God may be losing patience with me.

To make it all worse, I felt really horrible this past Sunday. My girlfriend and I got in a argument, and my addiction was brought up, and I felt really horrible about it, that I started to cry. She was right though, I've done it too many times, it seems like a weekly thing that has been in my life since middle school. I feel upset because I keep letting not only God down, but myself, and my girlfriend (which I knew for 5 years now) down also.

What should I do? I've prayed and prayed, and I feel better now, but I am scared that if I get the urge again I will give in.

Click to expand...

OK. Firstly, God doesn't lose patience. That's a fault only of finite people.

Secondly, you will succumb again but it is not the end of the world. You're like a naked guy stuck in a wilderness. You don't stand a chance until you start to get some defenses in place to help you overcome your addiction. You're not going to do it without them

Thirdly, short of a miracle, you're not going to overcome this addiction on your own (yes, it's just an addiction, not to try and minimise it but it really is no different from any other addiction). You need to get it back into perspective (sounds like it's right in your face at the moment?) and don't allow the Evil One to use it to dominate/destroy your life. It's really a question of perspective.

You need to drag your addiction, kicking and screaming if necessary, out of the darkness (where Satan wants it to remain) and into the light (Jn.3:19-21) where it should be...and watch it shrivel and die.

The best way to do this is to get together with a few other guys, whom you trust, and who are more spiritually mature than you are and covenant on equal terms with them to hold each other to account whilst loving and supporting one another in prayer and our most holy faith. This requires complete honesty and confidentiality (not to mention some ultra direct questions that don't beat around the bush and don't give a fig about religious sensibilities) and I suggest that the group as a whole is also accountable to someone higher (a Christian pastor or minister for example) who can also support the group in prayer.

Don't think that you are the only guy with this addiction, you're not. There are countless guys (and girls) both within and without the Church who are struggling with this particular addiction because the entire Western world (and probaly the Eastern world too), being under the control of the Evil One (1Jn.5:19), is obsessed with sex (amongst other things) to the point of crazed addiction (Jn.16:33).

Simonline.

NR90 said:

I have the same problem but I believe touching yourself is a Sin even if your not using any Visuals. You touch because you want to feel the feeling it gives. It is Lust.

Click to expand...

Using that logic all pleasurable feelings that are a consequence of other activities are sinful so why has God created us to experience pleasurable feelings?!

YHWH, through the apostle Paul, says all things are permissable but not all things are beneficial (1Cor.6:12; 10:23). In other words, only when an activity, not already explicitly proscribed as absolutely sinful, becomes addictive or obsessive does that activity also become sinful (but only for as long as it is an addictive obsession). Unlike other sexual activities, the Scriptures do not explicitly proscribe masturbation per se, only that (if it is mastubation to which is being referred here rather than 'nocturnal emmisions' whilst one is asleep?) it renders one temporarily ritually unclean (Deut.23:10-11).

I am not here saying that masturbation is OK only that it is far from cut and dry that it is not OK. Food for thought?

Simonline.

I used to really be compulsive with that addiction. I had 3 or 4 big boxes full of porn magazines at one time. Used to frequent massage parlors and also strip clubs. I was also intrigued because I had been wanting to find solace in God and seek His face. I either had a Playboy or a Bible in my hand. Crazy stuff, huh?

But thru Christian Counseling, a lot of time, and learning not to beat my conscience up (read Romans 7:14-25), I've slowed down from what I did before to having seldom occurances. I believe I will completely overcome with God's grace someday. But the desire and temptation will always be there. It's how you apply your faith in a "better thing to come" to your situation. Grace waits with more patience than we do. But there's a point at which you have to realize you DO have faith, and you CAN say no.

I know it's a rough road with the dopamine chemicals raging in the brain. Sometimes we don't think we can say no. Keep the struggle going. Read 1Peter 1:6-9. It's normal for Christians to suffer during struggle. Embrace suffering...as hard and crazy as that may sound, embrace it. Things will get better.

Also, remember and BELIEVE these verses in Proverbs:

Proverbs 4:4 "Then he taught me and said to me, 'Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live;'"

verse 10: Hear, my son, and accept my sayings, and the years of your life will be many.

verse 14-15: Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; Turn away from it and pass on.

Chapter 5:8 Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one;

Chapter 7:4-5 Say to wisdom, 'You are my sister,' and call understanding your intimate friend; that they may keep you from an adulteress, from the foreigner who flatters with her words.



I used to think these verses were for guys that had never messed up nor addicted yet. Well, they are, but they're also for us, who have traveled those paths. How? Because thru Jesus Christ we have been born again. We are a new creation in spirit. Now our hearts are divided, Christ has entered into the darkness, and will fight the fight needed to conquer the heart so that it is full of Him. Before the heart was full of wickedness and no light. But the light is entering in, and the power of the Holy Spirit will continue to purify our hearts and minds. All we have to do is acknowlege God in all our ways, affirming our faith in Him. God loves the addict. May God's blessings be with you!

There is only one sure way of overcoming anything that you do that you do not want to do anymore. First you need to seek the filling of the Holy Spirit and then you need to convince God that you do not want to do that anymore. When He is convinced of your sincerity He will remove the urges and you will not have to struggle anymore.

Is it easy? No! But it can and has been done by many. You may need pray partners to help you get to the point of being able to convince God.

I have personally been able to overcome anything that the Holy Spirit tell me is not of God. Am I perfect? No! But I am on the journey and will continue to grow closer to be like Jesus everyday.

A couple of things. I don't have a complete solution here, I'm just trying to describe what I think I've seen on this subject.

Trying not to offend the community rules while answering ...

Your human body will do what it needs to do without your compulsions. That will probably result in not having control over this part of your system when you're sleeping.

Humanly speaking, there are other things that push for release from our psychological isolation. We don't feel connected. Often isolation just magnifies the need for emotional release, and this seems to be an accessible outlet.

The problem with pornography is that it turns your mind into a sexual object-searcher, and that is a massive shift from trying to deal with the body's normal operation of this system, and it is also a stronger shift away from the need for emotional release due to psychological isolation.

The body's function is fairly reasonable. The rest are increasingly serious issues that need redemption, and need a response more than just buckling to the situation. We are made for communion. We aren't made for turning women into sex objects. Tackling this is a tall order, especially if you already feel that isolation -- it tends to feed on itself.

Well I used to sit around watching pron and playing with myself. I think thats what kills men and makes them unable to perform as well in bed. I think that done once in a while is to be expected, but to give in and do it all the time is wrong. Try to quit.

We are told God walked in the garden of Eden, and Jesus, who is God, is also called son of man. All old testament prophets have been men, in Gods divine order men were to rule, but they were also to love their wives and care for them, not abuse their power.

Genesis 3:15 "And I shall put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head and thou shalt bruise thy heel."

Genesis 6:2 "That the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were fair, and took them wives of all which they chose."

Now what if the sons of God are the 333 fallen angels? IE a different race completely then that of men who were created in Gods image and likeness.

In today's society where men and women are equal guess who tends to be more popular and more desirable, yep.

Mankind / humanity is coming to a close. We don't want a stern heavenly father with righteous laws to live up to, we want to do whatever we want and be accepted and nurtured by a heavenly mother.

All occultism is the worship of the mother Goddess vs the heavenly father. It may seem wrong for men to have ruled over women, or for them to wear hats or veils in public, but this was the curse God set upon them in the garden of Eden because of what happened.

Now, if the men in power who are cruel and merciless have often been these fallen angels as humans, then it would make sense for them to hide any evidence of it. If the pope is the antichrist, who worship Mary, this would also make sense.

With the whole world being feminized, what will become of the male spirit? What will become of God? What will become of mystery babylon the mother of all harlots?

How many "liberated" women are not harlots, not gay, and actually stick to one man? Few if any.

Some thoughts on this very common problem (speaking as a man):
(1) sexual desire, including sexual release, are part of God's plan and are interwoven with a lot of very positive, pleasurable emotions. For good reasons!
(2) sexual lust, including fantasies about sex with someone with whom you are not married, is wrong and harmful. It is harmful to ourselves -- and indirectly, eventually to women in our lives.
(3) God is constantly, through the Holy Spirit and the forgiveness available through Jesus, slowing changing our selfishness and sin into something beautiful. Some of this change occurs in the close community of other believers, the "Church".

Given that, I think most Christian men have to find the right path through the tension between observations (1) and (2) above. Many single men (and some husbands away from their wives) touch, while still seeking to avoid lust or inappropriate sexual fantasy. I'd say more -- but there is a tendency for each person to tell you what works for them -- and each of us is a little different.

In the light of observation (3) -- find a small group of Christian men with whom you can be relatively honest and accountable. When you sin, seek God's forgiveness -- and accept that forgiveness (!) and move on, seeking constructive improvement in your Christian walk as you enjoy His grace and love.