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New and Feeling Broken

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by JustBreathe71717, Jul 17, 2017.

  1. JustBreathe71717

    JustBreathe71717 New Member

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    Hello to anyone that reads this and maybe can relate or has encouraging words. I know no one likes to read a whole bunch, as we all are having struggles. I would greatly appreciate anyone that does. Below is where I am right now:

    I consulted a psychic a few years ago during a desperate time in my life. I believe in Jesus and grew up in a Christian household, but have always struggled with my faith. I turned to a psychic for answers. She told me that I would meet and Aries guy and that we would get married and be happy. Low and behold, a few years later I met said man. By all accounts I thought he was the one. The only hang up was he wasn't Christian. I was denying Christ at the time, so I went forth settling into a life with him, knowing deep down it wasn't right. We eventually got engaged, and it had been a VERY rocky road since then. I'm still recovering from sexual trauma from when I was younger, and seeking help for it, but he became impatient and and couldn't wait for my healing (like sex and other things that come with trauma). He broke off the engagement 2 days ago and pretty much blamed me for it and even said mean things to me about my character etc. Was this relationship cursed from the beginning? Was satan sending me this 'perfect' man to deceive me and bring me into the dark? Is this God intervening? I tried to minister to him about Jesus, hoping that we could heal our relationship, but he refused to give it a try, even hates the Church. I feel so broken inside, knowing it's my fault to ignoring God. Sorry that was a lot. Thanks to anyone that read this.
     
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  2. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

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    I'm sorry for the pain you are feeling now. I hope you will find friends and good advice here on CF. Some of the debates can become raw, but the people overall are well-intentioned and do care that even people they have never met, such as yourself, are in some difficulty; and they will pray for them and give them sincere advice to the best of their ability.

    I would say that you have to dismiss the idea of psychics being reliable, and that's putting it charitably. Were it not for the psychic in your case, you'd be able to see the end of this relationship entirely differently.

    I went to a well-known psychic once, on a dare, and she said some things that were true but which could have applied to quite a few different people. She did say, however, that I'd marry in a certain time period and named a woman's name. Not only did I not marry within that time frame but I have encountered only one person in the several decades since then that even had that name, and I never met her. She was simply a woman who had that first name and worked in the same plant, according to conversations I overheard.
     
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  3. 2PhiloVoid

    2PhiloVoid Another perspective about the Risen Son! Supporter

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    Welcome to CF, JustBreathe! We're glad you're here, and I would just echo what my friend Albion has said above. Your experiences have many various elements that will probably need to be talked about, all of which can be addressed as you interact with many here on CF. In the meantime, think about what all you want to share and maybe copy and paste your content in the Christian Advice section for everyone to prayerfully consider with you.

    Peace, and welcome. :cool:
    2PhiloVoid
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2017
  4. woobadooba

    woobadooba Legend Supporter

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    Some helpful Bible verses to consider...

    2 Corinthians 6:14 (NKJV) "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

    1 Corinthians 1:10 (NKJV) "Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

    Proverbs 3:5-7 (NKJV) "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil."

    Also, read Deuteronomy 18:9-12
     
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  5. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    Hello JustBreathe, praying for you, and welcome to CF (((hug)))
     
  6. ByTheSpirit

    ByTheSpirit Pray always!!

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    Hiii :) Praying for you
     
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  7. Chosen_and_blessed

    Chosen_and_blessed Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Keep trusting in the Lord and do what is right in his eyes. Fix your heart on the promises of God and you will be secure, Feasting on his faithfulness.
    — Psalm 37:3

    We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are chosen to be a part of His plan.
    -Romans 8:28

    Even though it is painful for you now it is probably the best thing for you so that you can continue working on healing from sexual trauma and, yes, to become the woman God knows you will be. It does sound like a blessing in disguise.
     
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  8. Truthfrees

    Truthfrees Well-Known Member Staff Member Purple Team - Moderator Supporter Recovery Team CF Senior Ambassador Angels Team

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    ah dear sister

    so sorry to hear all that you have gone through

    1. we have a recovery forum for members who want to heal from trauma : Trauma, PTSD & Dissociation

    2. we also have an advice forum where members try to help one another : Christian Advice

    3. we have a new christian forum where mature christians help answer your questions : For New Christians

    4. we have a following Jesus forum where you can grow in Christ : Discipleship: Following Jesus

    5. we have a private women only forum that i can get you permission for if you want

    6. and we have ask a chaplain forum where you can have a private conversation with one of our 3 chaplains : Chaplains Office

    any of these 6 forums could be a safe place for you to heal and find the answers you are looking for

    imo finding how much God loves you is the place to start

    we all make mistakes and end up in messes

    God is the only One who loves us unconditionally and passionately in a way that heals/restores us

    God has wonderfully amazing plans for us - Jeremiah 29:11, John 3:16

    the devil and those who hate God really always end up deeply hurting us - John 10:10

    God is always trying to draw us into a blessed life

    the devil is always trying to draw us into a mess of some sort

    praying for you my dear friend

    you are so very valuable and precious to us and to God who created you and Jesus who gave His life for you
     
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  9. faroukfarouk

    faroukfarouk Fading curmudgeon

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    Hi; good to see you; God bless His Word to you. A daily Bible reading habit is a far better guide for time and eternity than the sort of guide that you consulted with, frankly.
     
  10. devin553344

    devin553344 Active Member

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    Welcome to CF. I don't know what to say about your psychic, but we make our own destinies, not a psychic, unless you want them to command your life with a prophecy that could be correct and also false. So you met this man the psychic told you about, but is that psychic going to take the brunt of your decisions in life? No, we are responsible for our own actions, which is why I don't let people tell me my future. In other words, I'll decide my fate since I will be the one rewarded or punished for my actions and interactions.

    So I'm saying, be careful of psychics they can get you into trouble. And I hope that makes sense, May God Bless You:)
     
  11. paul1149

    paul1149 that your faith might rest in the power of God Supporter

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    Hi, @JustBreathe71717 , and welcome to CF. I hope you find what you need here.

    When I am confronted with confusing things like this - and I have been - I have found the best thing to do is to make sure I am reconciled fully to Christ. If you stick tight with Him and His word, that will guide and protect you in your decision-making. As you learn to value the wonderful peace that Christ alone can give, you realize that nothing is worth the cost of losing it - as in, nothing.

    The psychic thing I would renounce. Whether the ensuing relationship was coincidence or part of a larger scheme against you, I don't know, but getting directions from ungodly sources is going to tend to set you off on the wrong moral and spiritual track.

    With that out of the way, you can then look at the relationship with greater clarity. As soon as it became that rocky, it would have been time to recheck your position with the Lord, and perhaps back off on the relationship until you were sure the fundamentals were in order. And BF's behavior in the last few days is further evidence that some root issues would have to be dealt with before there would be a way forward.

    At least, that's how it seems to me. I would say make sure you are fully returned to the Lord. Just confess whatever you need to, and know He will take you back warmly, with open arms. He does not reproach (James 1:5), and in Him there is healing and restoration.

    Blessings.
     
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  12. JustBreathe71717

    JustBreathe71717 New Member

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    I'm not sure yet how to post replies on this, but I'll try this lol. Thank you for your insight and warm welcome! I look forward to communing more with you and others.
     
  13. JustBreathe71717

    JustBreathe71717 New Member

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    I'm not sure yet how to post replies on this, but I'll try this lol. Thank you for your insight and warm welcome! I look forward to communing more with you and others.
     
  14. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

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    Justfree, feeling broken is when Jesus does His best work in us. You aren't in such a bad place after all then, even if it doesn't seem so right now !

    Listen, the guy broke it off, ya know what ? I'd just move on and grow deeper in Jesus Christ for now, He is your best helper. And stay the heck away from things like psychics and such. Put your trust in the Lord. I look forward to seeing you around the forums as you heal. You most certainly will heal.
     
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  15. rturner76

    rturner76 Senior Veteran Staff Member Trainee Supporter

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    Hello @JustBreathe71717

    I think the psychic told you something and when a person came along that fit that astrological description, you may have thought that is who the psychic was talking about so you became attracted to that person, not as much for who he was but what he was. This seemed to be the future foretold to you. I'm sure since then you have realized that no one can see the future so I won't waste time getting into all that. You may have also over time realized that this man didn't share your same values so you were not compatible.

    Now, the sex thing is a stinking point for many people in many relationships. This is another way you two were not compatible. Because of your love for the Lord and your desire not to commit sin plus the trauma you suffered, you are totally right to stay within your comfort zone as it relates to physical intimacy. If he were Christian like you, he would not pressure you to sin. Because of your trauma, you will likely only want to be intimate when you feel comfortable and and the time is right for you, even while married. If he doesn't understand that now, he will continue to pressure you to be intimate when you don't feel ready over the course of your continuing relationship and he likely will feel especially entitled after marriage. From what I know about sexual trauma, it makes it very difficult and people feel a lot of fear and anxiety about physical intimacy. You would do better with an understanding and patient man who practices real Christian charity in that regard. By charity I mean "the voluntary giving of help."

    All this is to say, as an outsider only reading what was written here and not knowing the whole story, I think you dodged a bullet here actually more like a missile. It is always painful to lose someone you have grown to love. I have gone through it too. It feels like you lost the person you were supposed to be with when an engagement ends. It is hard to start over as a single person in no relationship, not having that companion to talk to and be with every day and it it very lonely at first. I want to validate all those feelings, they are real and very difficult.

    You do have a place to go if you have a family, mom and/or dad,siblings/cousins, friends, church, a YMCA or YWCA, yoga class, community ed class, martial arts, support groups, volunteer, adopt or foster a dog/cat, bird watching is funner than it sounds especially with a friend if you know a really big park or wilderness area especially if you bring a book and try to spot the species. Anyway, the point is that all the research shows that being social is the best way to counter act the loss of close person. As much as you can stand anyway. It's best not to shut in and binge watch Netflix all day like I do.

    Lastly, I personally have found this forum to be a great asset in my arsenal of finding social outlets. Even though it is not physical human contact, the exchange of ideas can be very enjoyable and it's always there when a friend isn't available. Of course it depends on what your interests are but my advise is to stick with more of the Christian sub forums like "Praise Reports" for example or Spiritual Growth. Life Stages has age specific forums, Mental Health, Physical Health, Recovery, and I'm sure you can look around and see what you like. If you don't like conflict, I would steer clear of the Debate and Politics

    So I have written too much but if you have read it all I hope you enjoy your time on CF and stick around and hang out with us! Thanks for stopping by :wave:
     
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