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cedric1200

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No, I never murdered anyone physically. I hated people though.

And physically I am still a virgin. I have never been intimate with anyone; but I wanted to. I have also violated people in my thoughts. Jesus said it was adultery.

I can't discuss homosexuality according to the rules, so I made a mistake in bringing it up. But of course I have to go with the the Bible when it talks about sex. So I just have to leave it there.

My IQ is 85. I appreciate you saying that I seem smart, but my IQ speaks volumes. It says I am low intelligent. But when I say that I am an idiot, I am talking about me constantly testing God. I look at porn and other unclean material testing God's grace. That's idiotic. So I wasn't insulting my intelligence but my behavior. If you knew someone who decided to eat cake with a pinch of poison in it just to see if the cake will still be good, you may say that person is an idiot. That's what I believe is what I am doing. So I am just condemning my behaviour.

I don't steal now. But I have in the pass
 
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True Scotsman

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Sex and romantic love are two of the most profound values in Human life. I relish the sight of a beautiful woman and I don't feel the slightest guilt about it. It's completely natural to think sexual thoughts. You can't stop it even if your life depended on it. There is nothing dirty or sinful about it. It is part of how we evolved.

This, to me, is one of the greatest evils of religious morality. It takes something that is profound and beautiful and turns it into something to be ashamed of. But if you want to rule people then you've got to demoralize them. There's no way to rule an innocent man. Make him feel that he is evil by nature and you've got him. Pick something that is natural to all men and make it a sin. I'm surprised that the writers of the Bible didn't make eating and breathing a sin.

I suggest you check your premises.
 
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BrokenWarrior

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Beloved, Your testimony is beautiful! You are correct, there are no other options!

We are sinners,we are liars,we are murderers,and thiefs,and adulterers. But The Christ has come to forgive us,us wreched,perverted beings.

And when we still fail,he'll forgive us again!

He came down to earth,perfect and sinless, lived a sinless life,was persecuted,beaten,cursed,and nailed to the Cross, all for OUR sake! Because of the sheer,incomprehensible love He has for us!

And now He lives,and has risen from the grave,to not only fulfill prophesy,but to also be our hope that His promise of our Ressurection is ours through Him!

If anyone of any faith,of any gender,of any race, sees this and is filled with curiosity or is convicted,I invite you to pick up a Bible,or ask questions in one of the Christian sub-forums,or even pm me! And I pray that God will choose you to be one of His,and to draw you in.

God Be with each and every one of you,friends and enemies alike!

-The Current Lowest Servant
 
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SarahsKnight

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IT'S HEALTHY AND GOOD TO FEAR GOD'S WRATH.

NO it is not, Cedric. The way you are feeling and living day by day is not healthy at all. AT ALL.

I find it very difficult to believe you can trust God and His will to save if you are this afraid of hell. And obviously - at least from what you say - it hasn't done much to stop or even curb your sinning. Think about it. The Bible says that it is the lovingkindness of our Lord that leads men to repentence, not the fear of His wrath (in whatever form His wrath will take).

I know because I was basically like this a few years ago. You are basing your relationship with our God on a miserable fearful slave mentality. And apparently, it's not exactly working.

I will continue to pray for you, sir.

__________________


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And physically I am still a virgin. I have never been intimate with anyone; but I wanted to. I have also violated people in my thoughts. Jesus said it was adultery.

And if I may add this, Cedric, I hope you realize that there is nothing wrong with the desire fo rphysical intimacy in and of itself. Believe it or not it is the way God made us. Now, violating someone in your thoughts, and willingly, yes, the Bible certainly does say it is wrong. It is adultery. But I want to make sure you understand the difference here.
 
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GrimKingGrim

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I'm gonna have to agree with SarahsKnight here.

You seem to pushing the grovel button very hard. And as mentioned before I don't think this type of lifestyle of slave mentality is particularly healthy and it seems like it's not gonna get better. I know you said you love yourself but honestly from what you said in your OP I'm not sure how genuine that statement is. It seems like you're very heavily conflicted internally. You have to free your mind from this crippling fear and guilt
 
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brinny

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Originally Posted by SteveB28 View Post
Seems like you've solved your own problem in just a couple of paragraphs.

Congratulations.

Yes, sometimes I just write how I feel without thinking. Then in a matter of minutes it changes.

i agree with SteveB28.

Congratulations.
 
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pakicetus

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No, I never murdered anyone physically. I hated people though.

And physically I am still a virgin. I have never been intimate with anyone; but I wanted to. I have also violated people in my thoughts. Jesus said it was adultery.

Ah! That's interesting theologically. I wonder if Jesus literally thought lust was as bad as physical adultery. I have to doubt it. After all, if you've already lusted after someone, does committing adultery with them make no difference? Same thing with murder: If you already hate someone, does killing them make no difference? Sometimes I'd like to think so...

I can't discuss homosexuality according to the rules, so I made a mistake in bringing it up. But of course I have to go with the the Bible when it talks about sex. So I just have to leave it there.
Actually, you're allowed to discuss homosexuality as long as you don't "promote" it - which I don't think anybody ever would, though I can think of some intriguing arguments. (I could say, for example, that it's the cure for overpopulation, unwanted pregnancy and abortion.)

There are some alternative interpretations of the Bible verses that supposedly condemn homosexuality. It's possible that the traditional interpretations only seem straightforward because that's how we've been conditioned to read them.

But I don't even think that's so important. I don't want anyone to feel like they're "sinful" for being gay; that's grotesque. It's like being ashamed of your race or gender. I know you believe God inspired the Bible, but isn't it possible that between his words, some purely human ideas from a primitive culture might have made their way in? A culture that still believed in witchcraft (Pharaoh's magicians and the commandment in Exodus 22:18 "Thou shalt not allow a witch to live") and a flat Earth?

My IQ is 85. I appreciate you saying that I seem smart, but my IQ speaks volumes.
Eh, maybe. IQ isn't as reliable as you might think. Nobody I know would believe my IQ is as low as it is.

Ah. Well everybody does things they know are wildly irrational. It's part of being human. That's not just true with porn, there's also unhealthy eating (most Americans are overweight) and procrastination and staying up too late and watching too much TV. I dare say much people are guilty of all of those things pretty frequently. Don't beat yourself up over this stuff. Just remember that trying too hard to be perfect is a flaw in and of itself.

Oh and by the way, people sometimes try to feel guilty to convince themselves that they're righteous people (that they at least have values, even if they're hypocrites). Or to feel like their incredible sinfulness at least makes them important. Don't do that, it's a waste of energy.
 
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ananda

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OP: There is a "light at the end of the tunnel" but I doubt that you will find that light in the direction you are seeking.

Feelings and thoughts grow in strength when we feed them our intentional attention and mental energies, such as with feelings of fear, repulsion, attraction or other delusions. Learn to do the opposite (ignore them without responding to them when they manifest, with either fear or attraction - I recommend jhanic meditation) and these demons will progressively grow weaker from a lack of attention on your part. Also, look into enemas to clean out mind-controlling parasites from your digestive system.
 
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pakicetus

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Also, look into enemas to clean out mind-controlling parasites from your digestive system.

I think it says something about humanity that I can't tell whether you're joking. Obviously there are no "mind-controlling parasites."
 
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jacknife

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I think it says something about humanity that I can't tell whether you're joking. Obviously there are no "mind-controlling parasites."
Actually there are some parasities that can for lack of a better word control their hosts brains. I know of none that do so in humans most parasites that get into our brain simply kill us.
 
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cedric1200

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No argument there.

Even though we don't agree with everything, I still appreciate everything you said.

To be perfectly honest, I expected people to be more judgmental. But I was wrong. I guess I thought I needed to be judged. "Maybe it would change my behaviour," was my thinking. But maybe it would also make me feel like dirt and sunk me into a more depressive stage.

So thank you. I hope to hear from you again. I really enjoyed reading your posts.
 
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cedric1200

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Well, I just hate lust.

Not just because the Bible tells me, but because it causes a lot of negative feelings afterwards.

Okay I need to be honest with myself. That's not entirely true that I hate lust. Otherwise I wouldn't do it. I enjoy pornography, unclean movies, and unclean material. People don't do what they hate. Unless of course they are required to do what they hate, like go to war or something. But I am not required to look at porn. Nobody is putting a gun at me and telling me to watch this movie and look at that pornographic material. I chose to do that stuff.

BUT I HATE THE FACT THAT I ENJOY IT. I hate how stimulating it is. A drug addict may enjoy the drugs that he takes, but may hate the fact that he enjoys it. That's what my addictions are like. I obviously enjoy it. But I hate enjoying it.
 
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cedric1200

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Thank you and God bless.
 
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KitKatMatt

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Also, look into enemas to clean out mind-controlling parasites from your digestive system.

"Mind-controlling parasites" actually take up residence in the brains of animals, where they can control the behavior, rather than the digestive system where they can't do squat in terms of mind control.

So please, no, don't just randomly take enemas unless you actually need them to clear out blockages. Plus, enemas don't kill parasites in the digestive system. You need to take an anti-parasitic drug (depending on what parasite is involved) to kill them off. The best an enema would do would flush a lot of dead parasites out. Live ones would hang on or be embedded into the intestinal wall, otherwise they'd be pooped out by normal bowel movements.
 
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cedric1200

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OK

Well, I was about to say I am going to get help. But I never do.

Umm. I guess I can try to change the way I think. It may take a while.

But I believe my salvation, which I know you don't particularly believe in which I respect, is out of my hands. So I am just giving my fate to God.

You gave me good advice. I am, like I said, going to change the way I think; that's what I am getting from your posts. And it's a good idea.
 
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cedric1200

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Thank you for your prayers.
 
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