Never Doing It Again

cedric1200

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I have a problem with lust. It's disgusting.

But I wonder if I decided, with will power, right here and right now to never think about sex, if I would successful.

I thought about it. No, I would not be successful.

I am so irritated with our creator. He creates hell and throws us in it if we are unable to follow his demands. How can someone never lust? How can someone never covet?

I feel so stuck. We can never escape the judgment of the Almighty. Killing myself won't work; hiding in space won't work; hiding in caves won't work. David said "Where can I go from your Spirit. I climb to the highest mountain you are there. I make bed in the lowest part of the earth and you are there." God is always there and is always on my mind. But all I see is fire and brimstone. He gave us these strong desires and I am having a hard time controling my evil thoughts.

I am also jealous of non-believers. They don't believe in hell. That must be nice not going to bed and not fearing of waking up in flames. I would love to go out and enjoy life and not worry about whether I am angering the Almighty or not.

However, I can't help but believe in the coming judgment of God. Paul said (I think it was Paul), that people perish for a lack of knowledge. That is why I have to know if there's going to be punishment for sin.

And I believe there is. And I am terrified because I can't stop sinning. My anxiety is going to end up killing me.

But I am done testing God. I do fear God's wrath, but obviously not enough if I continue to sin. I am going to walk in fear everyday of my life until I die. IT'S HEALTHY AND GOOD TO FEAR GOD'S WRATH.

I will keep calling on the name of Jesus, and pray for his mercy. I am everything that is wrong with humanity: I am a pervert, homosexual, a liar, a hypocrite, a murderer, an adulterous, an idolater, a thief, an idiot, and many more. But I am done feeling sorry for myself. Paul writes, "Worldly sorrow brings death, but godly sorrow brings life."

God can change me, so I am putting myself in his hands, and I submitting to his Son, Jesus. I mean I can't run away from him, what other options are there?
 
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cedric1200

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Seems like you've solved your own problem in just a couple of paragraphs.

Congratulations.

Yes, sometimes I just write how I feel without thinking. Then in a matter of minutes it changes.
 
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GoldenBoy89

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I have a problem with lust. It's disgusting.

But I wonder if I decided, with will power, right here and right now to never think about sex, if I would successful.
That would be impossible.

I am also jealous of non-believers. They don't believe in hell. That must be nice not going to bed and not fearing of waking up in flames. I would love to go out and enjoy life and not worry about whether I am angering the Almighty or not.
The way I see it, no matter what you do, you're probably upsetting somebody's god by doing it. Who knows? Being a good Christian might make Allah angry. If it turns out Muslims are right, you would have wasted your time trying to follow Christ.

I'm not saying to abandon Christianity. I just feel your interpretation of it doesn't seem to be very healthy or positive for you, from what I can read in your posts.

The best I can offer is that you seek counseling with a professional therapist to help you work out some of this anxiety you're going through. I really hope you can find some inner peace soon.
 
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GrimKingGrim

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I am also jealous of non-believers. They don't believe in hell. That must be nice not going to bed and not fearing of waking up in flames. I would love to go out and enjoy life and not worry about whether I am angering the Almighty or not.

Do it. Give it a shot.

I will keep calling on the name of Jesus, and pray for his mercy. I am everything that is wrong with humanity: I am a pervert, homosexual, a liar, a hypocrite, a murderer, an adulterous, an idolater, a thief, an idiot, and many more. But I am done feeling sorry for myself. Paul writes, "Worldly sorrow brings death, but godly sorrow brings life."

Does saying about yourself make you comfortable? Because I find some things wrong with this. It makes me uncomfortable knowing someone just outright borderline hates themselves. First off i'm going to highlight everything that makes you a human being like the rest of us.

A pervert - You think about sex? Join the club. You're right on board with literally every other sexually reproducing creature on the planet.

homosexual - What's wrong with it?

a liar - Lying isn't always wrong. You wouldn't tell the truth to an enraged husband holding a shotgun looking for his wife if you happen to know where she is, would you? Would you crush the dreams of a child by saying Santa doesn't exist because you don't want to lie?

a hypocrite - We're not gonna always 100% practice what we preach. The lack of absolutes is what makes us great. You can change.

murderer - Uh. We've all killed bugs. I've ran over a squirrel. But I hope you haven't microwaved a hamster or gone up higher than that.

idolater - I don't get it, what do you worship Zeus? Would God get mad at you for worshipping him in an image form?

thief - Join the club! I've got that one. Look I've changed since my younger days. And we've all stolen a sweet or two. Me? I stole money, and lots of it.

idiot - self loathing leads to more self loathing. Think about how positive your are. You can iron out negatives if you look at them from outside in, not inside out.

You sound like me from a few years back. I would go into these sudden rages angry at every single little mistake. Angry at every flaw. Angry at my lack of perfection. If you want, message me and I can even show you a badly written story I wrote in one of these rages.

The road to happiness is through self acceptance. Your happiness should be intrinsic and never lean on an outside source. Because if that source is taken away you have to lean on another one.

But if it comes from within, nothing can take you from you.

:thumbsup:
 
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KitKatMatt

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If God wanted all humans to not think about sex, we wouldn't have survived very long as a species, would we?

We think this way for a reason. It's ok, it's normal an healthy.

I always wondered at my Sunday School teachers condemning sexual attraction, because how else are we supposed to become interested in romantic relationships? Not to say there aren't exceptions (like myself actually), but the majority of people have sexual thoughts about other people and it's totally alright and natural to do.
 
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Mystman

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Honestly, it seems you would very much benefit from deconverting, or converting to a more tolerant version of Christianity. I know it's impossible to just stop believing in something, but it might be worth it to seek out books/people that believe the kind of things that you want to believe, and really listen to their arguments. Maybe they'll instantly come up with an argument that will convince you, or maybe they'll at least plant a seed of doubt that will eventually free you from your fears.

Also, I'd second the suggestion to talk with a professional, or at least to keep it in mind in case things get worse. The majority of homosexuals in the West aren't constantly fearing Hell, and neither should you. :)
 
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Eudaimonist

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I am also jealous of non-believers. They don't believe in hell. That must be nice not going to bed and not fearing of waking up in flames. I would love to go out and enjoy life and not worry about whether I am angering the Almighty or not.

Yes, that is a good aspect of being an atheist, but I didn't have those fears even when I was a Christian. I wonder if you had grown up in a real fire-and-brimstone church, and might benefit from joining a different group.

And get counseling.


eudaimonia,

Mark
 
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pakicetus

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As far as I know, there's no reason whatsoever to think hell even exists -- anymore than the hells in other religions, which are pretty good evidence that hell is a trope that the human mind invents for psychological reasons (the need to keep the followers of your cult from defecting or the wish to have outgroups punished, for example) and not a reality. You might as well be scared of going to Tartarus. Or, for that matter, Middle Earth!

You have nothing to be ashamed of, either. There's nothing wrong with lust in and of itself! It's just a feeling, it can't harm anything. You can have too much lust, but that isn't a sin: it's just an inconvenience, or at worst a disorder.

As for the other sins you mentioned:

- Homosexuality: that's 100% OK too -- both as a form of sex and a form of love. I doubt God has a problem with it, since it's his fault.

- Thoughtcrimes: There's no such thing as an evil thought. What happens in your mind stays in your mind.

- Covetousness: This is an emotion humans have evolved because your resources affect your ability to survive and reproduce - or, if creationism is true, God gave us the tendency to covet because humanity would've gone extinct without it. Lust is a similar story.

Anyway, you should take the commandment against covetousness with a grain of salt. God literally told the Israelites to covet other people's land and property and women, so he was being a total hypocrite when he said not to covet.

- Lying: Everybody lies sometimes. Except me.

- Murder: Woah! Really? You've committed murder? Have you literally committed murder or have you just hated someone? Anyway, I've read the Old Testament, and despite what he says, God doesn't have any problem with murder.

- Adultery: Have you really committed adultery, or have you just felt lust before?

- Thievery: Well yeah, stealing is bad -- unless you needed to do it, that is.

- Idiocy: Lots of people are idiots. You actually give me the impression that you're pretty smart. But even if you're not, stupidity isn't anyone's fault, and there are some upsides to it.

- Hypocrisy: People who make a big deal out of hypocrisy are all hypocrites themselves. Metahypocrites.

It seems like your "sins" are pretty ordinary, but even if you've committed the worst sins imaginable, you should be able to forgive yourself and move on. You can't go back in time and change the past. All you can do, or should even care to do, is try to use your remaining time in a considerate and ironic and enjoyable way. I would say that to a mass murderer. But you give me the impression that your problem isn't extraordinary sin, but extraordinary guilt. If you really feel so guilty, you should get psychiatric help. Which, by the way, isn't shameful either.
 
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Dave-W

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I suspect you have a wrong definition of "lust." Thinking about sex is part of how the Creator made us. He even put an entire book in the bible devoted to sex. (Song of Solomon).

Remember - your salvation from hell is not based on how much you fight sin in your life; even though that is a good fight. It is based on your faith in the finished work of Our Lord on the cross - His death and resurrection.

A former pastor (in Michigan) once described the fight against sin this way: (it was during a blizzard)

You can go out and start brushing the snow off of your car. And brush and brush and brush. 5 minutes later it will be covered in snow again. But if you brush off only enough to see where you are going, and drive south toward florida; that snow will start to melt off as you go toward the sun (Son). By the time you get to Kentucky or Tennesee there is no more snow falling and what is still on your car is melting off. When you get to Ft Lauderdale, there is no sign of the snow that formerly encased your car. Not even a wet spot.

So if you are dealing with sins in your life - fix your eyes on the Son and start moving toward Him. You will find all those sins and encombrances just falling away and bothering you no more.
 
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cedric1200

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I suspect you have a wrong definition of "lust." Thinking about sex is part of how the Creator made us. He even put an entire book in the bible devoted to sex. (Song of Solomon).

Remember - your salvation from hell is not based on how much you fight sin in your life; even though that is a good fight. It is based on your faith in the finished work of Our Lord on the cross - His death and resurrection.

A former pastor (in Michigan) once described the fight against sin this way: (it was during a blizzard)

You can go out and start brushing the snow off of your car. And brush and brush and brush. 5 minutes later it will be covered in snow again. But if you brush off only enough to see where you are going, and drive south toward florida; that snow will start to melt off as you go toward the sun (Son). By the time you get to Kentucky or Tennesee there is no more snow falling and what is still on your car is melting off. When you get to Ft Lauderdale, there is no sign of the snow that formerly encased your car. Not even a wet spot.

So if you are dealing with sins in your life - fix your eyes on the Son and start moving toward Him. You will find all those sins and encombrances just falling away and bothering you no more.
Wow.

That is actually very helpful. Thank you
 
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cedric1200

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That would be impossible.

The way I see it, no matter what you do, you're probably upsetting somebody's god by doing it. Who knows? Being a good Christian might make Allah angry. If it turns out Muslims are right, you would have wasted your time trying to follow Christ.

I'm not saying to abandon Christianity. I just feel your interpretation of it doesn't seem to be very healthy or positive for you, from what I can read in your posts.

The best I can offer is that you seek counseling with a professional therapist to help you work out some of this anxiety you're going through. I really hope you can find some inner peace soon.
Thank you
 
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cedric1200

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Talking to buddist monk today about how a man in Burma was taught to over come lust. Lets just say we wont be going there. The one thing that God has shown me is that love does not lust.
You are right about that. I know I have a lack of love. And my reasons for wanting to avoid lust is probably not right either. But that's where I am at right now.
 
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cedric1200

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Do it. Give it a shot.



Does saying about yourself make you comfortable? Because I find some things wrong with this. It makes me uncomfortable knowing someone just outright borderline hates themselves. First off i'm going to highlight everything that makes you a human being like the rest of us.

A pervert - You think about sex? Join the club. You're right on board with literally every other sexually reproducing creature on the planet.

homosexual - What's wrong with it?

a liar - Lying isn't always wrong. You wouldn't tell the truth to an enraged husband holding a shotgun looking for his wife if you happen to know where she is, would you? Would you crush the dreams of a child by saying Santa doesn't exist because you don't want to lie?

a hypocrite - We're not gonna always 100% practice what we preach. The lack of absolutes is what makes us great. You can change.

murderer - Uh. We've all killed bugs. I've ran over a squirrel. But I hope you haven't microwaved a hamster or gone up higher than that.

idolater - I don't get it, what do you worship Zeus? Would God get mad at you for worshipping him in an image form?

thief - Join the club! I've got that one. Look I've changed since my younger days. And we've all stolen a sweet or two. Me? I stole money, and lots of it.

idiot - self loathing leads to more self loathing. Think about how positive your are. You can iron out negatives if you look at them from outside in, not inside out.

You sound like me from a few years back. I would go into these sudden rages angry at every single little mistake. Angry at every flaw. Angry at my lack of perfection. If you want, message me and I can even show you a badly written story I wrote in one of these rages.

The road to happiness is through self acceptance. Your happiness should be intrinsic and never lean on an outside source. Because if that source is taken away you have to lean on another one.

But if it comes from within, nothing can take you from you.

:thumbsup:
To be perfectly honest, yes it does make me comfortable. I don't know why. Probably because if someone was to call me a righteous man, it would put pressure on me to try to be righteous.

Insults hurt a lot especially when someone else is insulting me, so I do it myself. And I feel when I say these things maybe God will have mercy on me.

What I am saying I still believe to be true. But I think if I confess them to people, God will be more merciful. So it's just me trying to God's attention.

But I appreciate what you said. And I actually do love myself. In fact, I think I love myself too much. My problem is I may love myself more then I love people. And that's a big problem. I don't trust people. In fact, I don't go to church because I don't trust people.
 
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cedric1200

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If God wanted all humans to not think about sex, we wouldn't have survived very long as a species, would we?

We think this way for a reason. It's ok, it's normal an healthy.

I always wondered at my Sunday School teachers condemning sexual attraction, because how else are we supposed to become interested in romantic relationships? Not to say there aren't exceptions (like myself actually), but the majority of people have sexual thoughts about other people and it's totally alright and natural to do.
Sexual attraction towards the person God meant for me to have would be an awesome gift. But that's not happening for me.
 
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cedric1200

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Honestly, it seems you would very much benefit from deconverting, or converting to a more tolerant version of Christianity. I know it's impossible to just stop believing in something, but it might be worth it to seek out books/people that believe the kind of things that you want to believe, and really listen to their arguments. Maybe they'll instantly come up with an argument that will convince you, or maybe they'll at least plant a seed of doubt that will eventually free you from your fears.

Also, I'd second the suggestion to talk with a professional, or at least to keep it in mind in case things get worse. The majority of homosexuals in the West aren't constantly fearing Hell, and neither should you. :)
I can't deconvert. It's impossible. I have seen too many things and heard too many testimonies from trusted witnesses, and even had some degree of experience to not believe.

But I am only hard on myself to just get God's approval.

So I am just whinning.
 
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cedric1200

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Yes, that is a good aspect of being an atheist, but I didn't have those fears even when I was a Christian. I wonder if you had grown up in a real fire-and-brimstone church, and might benefit from joining a different group.

And get counseling.


eudaimonia,

Mark
I should get counseling.

I don't envy that you don't believe in God; just the fact you don't believe in hell.

But I guess it's not just atheists who don't believe in hell.
 
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Aryeh Jay

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I should get counseling.

I don't envy that you don't believe in God; just the fact you don't believe in hell.

But I guess it's not just atheists who don't believe in hell.

Atheists are not the only people that don’t believe in a hell.
 
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