Nervous Wreck....Need advice!

[8677supers]

A man has been courting me for almost a month now...we have vowed to maintain a hands-off relationship(no hand holding, kissing, being alone at all..etc..). I have never felt so sure of anyone in my life...until now! Last night he informed me that his parents will want to meet me soon.(normally no problem) Here is the catch... first of all...his parents are ungodly...second of all...there is a communication barrier....and lastly..if they do not give their blessing..it is over. He refers to the commandment in the bible which reads"honor your father and mother". I am so afraid. I need advice, and prayer.

 

[Carri20]

Wow. Ok well first of all, I believe "honor your father and mother" was written in reference to BELIEVING mothers and fathers. If he lives under their roof then he is under their authority in the Lord, which means he is only obligated to follow godly orders. If his parents told him to do a little faerie dust with them, would he do that too? Remember, God gave the law to the unbelievers. As believers we have the Holy Spirit to direct our path. So if this meeting with your boyfriend's parents goes badly and he breaks off the relationship, he had better hope it's because of the Holy Spirit and not his unbelieving family.

 

[~Nikki~]

Wow. Ok well first of all, I believe "honor your father and mother" was written in reference to BELIEVING mothers and fathers. If he lives under their roof then he is under their authority in the Lord, which means he is only obligated to follow godly orders. If his parents told him to do a little faerie dust with them, would he do that too? Remember, God gave the law to the unbelievers. As believers we have the Holy Spirit to direct our path. So if this meeting with your boyfriend's parents goes badly and he breaks off the relationship, he had better hope it's because of the Holy Spirit and not his unbelieving family.

IMO there is a difference between 'honouring' and doing every little thing they say even when it goes against your beliefs.

To honour your parents means to consider them in the things that you do, (especially when living under their roof) and to be respectful of them, and if you disagree then you can respectfully explain why you can't do a certain thing. To me that is 'honouring'...

To the OP, it sounds like you have a godly man there...one who wants to follow the Lord at all costs, and that is a good thing. I am second place in my husband's life - God is first. And it makes all the difference. I know that whatever happens my husband will do the right thing by me, and treat me well, and love me and cherish me. Why? Because he loves God more than me, and will treat me well even when he's not feeling like it because the Bible tells him to. I know that he will never get involved in anything dodgy because he loves God more than himself and wants to please God with all his heart. And if you've found a man like that, who wants to do things God's way, then so much the better.

My husband also would not have married me if his parents didn't like me. Fortunately for me he didn't tell me this until after I had met them and they had approved (I think I would have felt too much pressure if he had told me in advance), and fortunately they liked me.

I would say to pray, pray and pray some more. That if God wants the two of you together He would overcome any obstacles, that He would cause your bf's parents to like you, and that He would overrule in the situation. I would pray to feel at ease so that you can be comfortable and be yourself around them. I am sure God will help you and that everything will be ok.

God bless you...

 

[ivanisavich]

Two words: mamma's boy.

I've dated them in the past, and there is a HUGE difference between honouring your mother and father, and being a "mamma's boy".. trust me, you don't want the latter. If he dumps you because his parents don't care for you, he's not worth your time. His parents arent the ones in the relationship, he is. They can never know you like he does and will know you.

If parents have a REAL concern about their son's significant other.. like she has a drug problem, or alcohol problem, or some real actual significant issue, I can see them objecting and then the son saying "ok yeah I can see how this girl is not good for me"

But unless there is a REAL problem, if he is just going to say "its over" because mummy and daddy don't like you, yeah you are so better off without him

Quoted for agreement.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

I agree with the above posts. If he has to have his parents approval in this above everything else...just think what happens if you would marry? Just take things as they come. If his parents "don't approve" an he leaves you, then it's all for the best. If he always has to have his parents approval, he will always side with them on everything later on...and where would that leave you??? Just meet his parents, have a good time....and listen, even if they "approve" of you, you really need to talk this over with your bf if you ever plan on moving forward toward marriage. I say this because he needs to understand that you must be put before his parents!

 

[Carri20]

To honour your parents means to consider them in the things that you do, (especially when living under their roof) and to be respectful of them, and if you disagree then you can respectfully explain why you can't do a certain thing. To me that is 'honouring'...

Absolutely. Thank you...that's what I wanted to say but the words weren't exactly coming out right.