Neighbors are atheists

[ALEA40]

We moved to a new development last summer and we were so excited to have a couple boys move in next door (ages 11 & 13 while my oldest is 10). They are very proud atheists and profess that they respect people of other faiths. I was fine with that. I grew up with a couple friends of a similar "faith". That said, my son told me tonight that the oldest boy said he was offended with someone's video game screen name WWJD. Upon further questioning, he seems to give my son many reasons why Christianity doesn't make sense. I proceeded to give my son many reasons why Christianity does makes sense and countered our neighbor's arguments. I'm not real sure how to handle this. My son is too young and too new of a Christian to really defend it (he's not baptized yet). I really don't want him to hang out with the older boy any more (his parents also let him listen to really inappropriate music) but the logistics of that are a little difficult. All the boys on the street hang out and play together. Any suggestions? My son is VERY impressionable and always wants to look "cool".

 

[akmom]

Some people who claim to be tolerant aren't. They just say that because it sounds good. A lot of the atheists I know are more "evangelical" than Christians in their passion to convert. Not sure what they have to gain from it. But it sounds like that is the kind of passionate atheism your neighbors practice.

If you're able, I would continue to talk to him about your beliefs and respond to his questions. Sheltering him from differing beliefs doesn't solve the problem. However, if this older boy is particularly influential, it might be necessary to minimize their interactions. What I mean by this, is influencing your son in ways that your son might not realize. Such as, withholding attention when your son disagrees with him, or using his natural authority as an older peer to direct the course of group conversations, or parroting various propaganda tactics to persuade your son in a disingenuous way. If he feels like having friends or approval is contingent on conceding atheist points, then he might gravitate toward that for reasons other than the belief itself.

Discussing different beliefs systems requires a level of maturity probably absent in young children anyway. I think it also requires some degree of equal footing. Otherwise the better educated, better spoken, or better rehearsed individual will tend to win "debates," and not necessarily because their positions are right. Big age gaps in children is essentially the same thing. The older will be better articulated, and will therefore seem to be right to the younger one. It's not a fair debate.

 

[ALEA40]

Thanks AKmom! I have no doubt that this boy made my son feel dumb/inadequate for his beliefs, as some people can do. I understand. A year ago, before becoming a born-again Christian, I would have totally agreed with or at least understood many of atheist/agostic arguments. It's almost impossible to understand the world from a Christian standpoint if you live in darkness. You want to pull as many people down with you as you can

 

[abysmul]

Be weary of the self proclaimed proud, tolerant, atheists. My late brother was one of him, he pontificated that when he had children they would be raised with open minds and allowed to choose any path they wanted, they are all adults out of college now... all are proud, tolerant, atheists (never given the opportunity to choose any path, my brother routinely told them how stupid our family was because of our faith). Sadly, two of them look down on anyone of faith, attempt to finger point and ever so politely ridicule people of faith.

All that being said, their Christian neighbors had much trouble with my brother and my nieces, and I would not be shocked if the reason they moved was in part because of my brother's family proudly being "tolerant atheists" every chance they could.

All I can say is keep your child educated in your faith, and be prepared to constantly have to rebut the arguments of those kids.

 

[ALEA40]

Be weary of the self proclaimed proud, tolerant, atheists. My late brother was one of him, he pontificated that when he had children they would be raised with open minds and allowed to choose any path they wanted, they are all adults out of college now... all are proud, tolerant, atheists (never given the opportunity to choose any path, my brother routinely told them how stupid our family was because of our faith). Sadly, two of them look down on anyone of faith, attempt to finger point and ever so politely ridicule people of faith.

All that being said, their Christian neighbors had much trouble with my brother and my nieces, and I would not be shocked if the reason they moved was in part because of my brother's family proudly being "tolerant atheists" every chance they could.

All I can say is keep your child educated in your faith, and be prepared to constantly have to rebut the arguments of those kids.

Thanks for sharing abysmal! I think that describes our situation to a "T". And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. I think your statement about constantly educating my son about our faith and being prepared to rebut their arguments might just help to keep me on my toes. Otherwise, I might become a little lazy about our bible readings and prayer time and just let his youth group cover that. Before I know it, attacks will come from where I least expect it (other friends, school, etc.) and my son may never even tell me.

 

[akmom]

Remember upbringing isn't a guarantee of atheism. My college roommate was an atheist from an educated, atheist family, and her brother became a Christian in college, and went into ministry. It was a stressful ordeal for her. I bore the brunt of her frustrations in the form of scientific debates she initiated. I am just glad that, at that time in my life, I was strong in faith and had a great support system. I was able to be gracious and open-minded but firm in my beliefs - traits that have since become elusive to me. She still hasn't accepted Christ, but is more tolerant than she used to be.

Your son might be an influence to them or another family someday, if you teach him to be confident yet gracious with his words.