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Negativity.

~Nikki~

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Man, I have had enough. There is not ONE person who believes that my body can do what God designed it to do.

I've been told I'm having a 'trial of scar/labour' so the docs won't let me labour for long...why? because they're scared, which will lead to more interventions and another c-section.

Today I said to the midwife that I wanted to avoid a c-section if possible because Benjamin has never been away from me for more than a few hours, so five days of me in a hospital would be hard for him. Her reply? "Well, your babies might not fit out of you the normal way, so you'll just have to do what you have to do." I KNOW that, but I was just saying I'd like to avoid it as much as possible. Way to inspire confidence in the mum-to-be. And it's not like I'm giving birth to an elephant or anything.

I *just* want someone who will help me to avoid any unecessary interventions, and who trusts that my body can birth its own babies. Obviously if there's an emergency then I have to do what's necessary, but why intervene and create an emergency before there needs to be one?

I've been told they like to break waters early (which is what caused the problems last time)...from then on they'll be clock watching and if my labour doesn't progress quickly they'll put me on a drip, which means contrax will be more painful and I'll need an epi, which will put me on my back and possibly slow labour down, then they'll panic because I'm not progessing enough and do another c-section which will put paid to having loads of children or natural births in the future.

I've just about had it with all the scaremongering and negativity...I'm sorely tempted not to go for any more check-ups, and not to go to the hospital for the birth but just to do it all by myself at home. Or at least wait until I'm ready to deliver and turn up just in time for them to catch the baby.

Anyway, just wanted to get all that off my chest. Rant over for now...
 

~Mrs. A2J~

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:hug: So sorry you're having to put up with that. Do you have anyone whom you can take with you when you go into labor who can be your advocate? Someone who can encourage you and at the same fight for the labor and delivery that you want?
 
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angelsamongus

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I had c section the 1st time. My hospital very incourging so I don't know what your going through. But I have heard of ppl who don't want a repeat c section they do what to go in to be sure they are in intense labour. cause they do time you. and its not fun. I would just not waiting to long after due date. thats when of prblems. You can do it just keep faith.;)
 
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coffeegal

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it is so hard to find drs that support vbacs. i'm sorry you are having such a hard time. i have skipped many a drs appts just to avoid negative things. i went from hospital births to homebirths cause i was so tired of being told how i had to undergo so many ultrasounds to check my babies hearts for the 1-2% chance they had the same heart defect i had. even having one dr tell me it needed to be done so that i had "all my options" available to me.
 
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~Nikki~

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Well, my lovely hubby has said that if I can find an independent midwife (and there are two in the area that will do VBACs) who will take me on at such short notice, then we'll pay the fee and go for a homebirth.

So now I just have to see who is crazy enough to take on another client who only has two weeks to go!
 
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~Nikki~

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coffeegal

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nikki-
there is a women on my site who has had 3 unassisted homebirths after having 2 c sections. (she posts at the other site as well).
i wanted to say this ealier, but i didn't want to start a debate with others who would disagree with me. if it was me- i'd stay home till the last possible moment. since tho you have your husband's support for a homebirth, i'd stay home.
 
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~Nikki~

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nikki-
there is a women on my site who has had 3 unassisted homebirths after having 2 c sections. (she posts at the other site as well).
i wanted to say this ealier, but i didn't want to start a debate with others who would disagree with me. if it was me- i'd stay home till the last possible moment. since tho you have your husband's support for a homebirth, i'd stay home.

I think you're right.

We phoned the local independent midwife and she's away in Russia next week, and then at some conference in Scotland around my due date...the only other local lady is also going to the conference, so I can't have either of them to help me.

Other than trying to find someone else who is willing to travel a bit further, I suggested to hubby that we go against hospital advice (they want me there *early* to monitor me etc), and wait until the last possible moment, like you say, before we go in. Then there's nothing they can do. My hubby does support the idea of a homebirth, but he feels more comfortable with the idea of having someone else there for the actual delivery, and doesn't want us to be totally unassisted...although I do have this dream of accidentally not making it to the hospital in time...that would be awesome, lol.

:)
 
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~Nikki~

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nikki-
there is a women on my site who has had 3 unassisted homebirths after having 2 c sections. (she posts at the other site as well).
i wanted to say this ealier, but i didn't want to start a debate with others who would disagree with me. if it was me- i'd stay home till the last possible moment. since tho you have your husband's support for a homebirth, i'd stay home.

Could you pm me the address of your site???

The other one says that registration is disabled til the beginning of June...and that might be a bit late for me, lol. I'll join that one later, but for now would love to read more about that woman if possible.
:)
 
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Called2Grace

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It's funny, so far I haven't come accross any negativity about going for a VBAC. But I've only spoken to my Dr. I asked him if I have to have another C-section, he just said "nope" that was it :)

So I'm going to see the MW clinic in a few hours so I will get to ask her about the hospitals policy, but from the last MW that I have spoken to, they are all pretty much happy with VBAC's.

That and I don't intend on getting to the hospital until I can't bear the pain of the contractions anymore (Which probably won't be that late as I have the lowest pain threshold ever known to man....)

Although we are half an hour from the hospital, so I should probably take that into account!

I am not going to be induced. End of discussion. If it gets to the point where I need to be induced, I would rather go for the C-section. I know that is what caused it last time and I am not going through that again. I was in hard labour for 12 hours, my body was not ready for it, so I didn't dialate properly, and the contractions weren't effective. DD got stuck because I wasn't dialated properly, even though I pushed for hours. They tried suction too and she still wouldn't come out!!

Anyway enough of that horror story! :) This time I have a bit more knowledge! And I am a little more assertive :)
 
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~Nikki~

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It's funny, so far I haven't come accross any negativity about going for a VBAC. But I've only spoken to my Dr. I asked him if I have to have another C-section, he just said "nope" that was it :)

So I'm going to see the MW clinic in a few hours so I will get to ask her about the hospitals policy, but from the last MW that I have spoken to, they are all pretty much happy with VBAC's.

That and I don't intend on getting to the hospital until I can't bear the pain of the contractions anymore (Which probably won't be that late as I have the lowest pain threshold ever known to man....)

Although we are half an hour from the hospital, so I should probably take that into account!

I am not going to be induced. End of discussion. If it gets to the point where I need to be induced, I would rather go for the C-section. I know that is what caused it last time and I am not going through that again. I was in hard labour for 12 hours, my body was not ready for it, so I didn't dialate properly, and the contractions weren't effective. DD got stuck because I wasn't dialated properly, even though I pushed for hours. They tried suction too and she still wouldn't come out!!

Anyway enough of that horror story! :) This time I have a bit more knowledge! And I am a little more assertive :)

Yeah, that's kind of what I decided. No induction. Period. But I need dh to back me up because I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to standing up for myself...and I don't want to be seen as that *difficult* woman who no one wants to deliver, lol.

But yep, knowledge is good, and I have more of it this time around too.

My hospital also has a policy of *encouraging* VBACs, but in reality they are terrified and will whisk me off for surgery for the tiniest reason, so like you I think I'll wait til the last minute.
 
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~Nikki~

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though I would never do it, there are ladies on gcm that have done unassisted too ... I really like that site :sorry:


Ooo! Exciting!

Can't you get them to enable registration again, lol. I have a feeling it'll all be too late by the time I get to join. :help:
 
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~Nikki~

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Is unassisted birthing a "new" movement? I've never heard of this before...

I'm not sure. I've read a few stories where people didn't have insurance, or couldn't afford a midwife but didn't want to go to the hospital, so they decided to go it alone.

I think some were convicted to trust God rather than an OB...

I don't know if it's a *movement* as such though. :sorry:
 
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Called2Grace

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Yeah I really want to join the site too but have to wait till June :)

I spoke to my MW and she informed me that the hospital where I want to deliver has mobile monitoring that is even waterproof, so even though I will need to be monitored, I can move around and even get in the bath with it on.

The do have a time limit though, once you reach 3cm, there is a 12 hour time limit to delivery. Once we reach the second stage of labour (fully dialted to "pushing") then it is 60 mins with a passive hour in addition if everything is going well, but the baby just needs a bit of extra time.
 
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