I have an 11 year who is very negative. He sees a counselor for this. Does anyone know of any books that deal with how to handle a negative/ angry child?
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negative child
- Thread starter heatherwayno
- Start date
- May 29, 2005
- 1,473
- 1,480
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- United States
- Gender
- Female
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- Non-Denom
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- US-Republican
uh if you have money get him into martial arts, i got confidence in myself by doing that and boosted self esteem.
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Blue Olive
Member
Can you elaborate on how he is negative and/or angry? Any information will be helpful in finding the root cause of the problem.
What is the counselor doing exactly? Have you seen any changes that would indicate improvement?
What is the counselor doing exactly? Have you seen any changes that would indicate improvement?
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J
jesusfreak4lifenow
Guest
what kind of media does he watch/listen to? I have my son listen to a lot of kids shows that reinforce positive values, and I am so happy that often he repeats that to others, just like a cheerleader. also maybe just try to let him be able to make age-appropriate choices about things/activities that might be fun for him, maybe take him out to the library frequently and pick out some G-rated good movies and books. some libraries really are fun in the kids areas, and free. whenever my son starts sounding too negative, I just tell him stop complaining, and to talk nicer, and usually he does. I've also got him some christian cartoons like Cherub Wings that talks about the importance of thankfulness, and they are also very positive. just some ideas.
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Sounds like the onset of puberty....is there something that is outside the bounds of normal?
I heartuly recommend How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, How To Listen So Your kids WIll Talk. I think this book is so, so helpful in developing healthy communication skills, and giving children a sense of empowerment in the creation and enforcement of boundaries in the home.
I don't think Cherub Wings is going to be a big hit with an 11 year old boy
....but there are great books and movies out there that speak do a boy's sense of honor and chivalry...even things like Star Wars, and books like Eargon or Lord of The Rings. I think kids come hard wired to respond to the true, the beautiful and the noble--and efforts to immerse your lives in such things develops character. Jesusfreak does make a good point--that of limiting the input of popular cultural messages into your home--if need be get rid of your cable or satellite and sit together with your son and make a Netflix list together.
Not knowing any details I would ask if you spend time one on one engaged in physical activities with your son? Our sons still need and crave physical touch and connection with us, and physical activity such as a game of basketball or flashlight tag or whatever- gives us as moms a chance to be physical with our sons in a way that is more acceptable to them. It also is just vitally important to spend time with him in a way which will be satisfying to him, on his terms and his turf--it's a balance for all of the things which you need and ask him to do which are not his choice. I have found that whenever a relationship with one of my children is strained- that despire not wanting to (seriously who wants to spend time with someone that they feel constant tension)--spending time together brings us back on track and offers opportuinites for spontaneous discussion and builds a sense of closenss that was being lost in our conflict.
Kids going into middle school often seem to abandon their familiy in favor of their friends- the only antidote to this is to work tirelessly to maintain the bond you have with your child, and to develop a sense of empowerment in their lives. I personally plan on lots of manual labor together, outside working togther to build things or fix things or grow things to achieve these ends...that way we are together, working toward a common goal and they get to see tangible fruits of their labor, as well as the sense that they have competentlymastered a previously unknown skill.
I heartuly recommend How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, How To Listen So Your kids WIll Talk. I think this book is so, so helpful in developing healthy communication skills, and giving children a sense of empowerment in the creation and enforcement of boundaries in the home.
I don't think Cherub Wings is going to be a big hit with an 11 year old boy
....but there are great books and movies out there that speak do a boy's sense of honor and chivalry...even things like Star Wars, and books like Eargon or Lord of The Rings. I think kids come hard wired to respond to the true, the beautiful and the noble--and efforts to immerse your lives in such things develops character. Jesusfreak does make a good point--that of limiting the input of popular cultural messages into your home--if need be get rid of your cable or satellite and sit together with your son and make a Netflix list together.Not knowing any details I would ask if you spend time one on one engaged in physical activities with your son? Our sons still need and crave physical touch and connection with us, and physical activity such as a game of basketball or flashlight tag or whatever- gives us as moms a chance to be physical with our sons in a way that is more acceptable to them. It also is just vitally important to spend time with him in a way which will be satisfying to him, on his terms and his turf--it's a balance for all of the things which you need and ask him to do which are not his choice. I have found that whenever a relationship with one of my children is strained- that despire not wanting to (seriously who wants to spend time with someone that they feel constant tension)--spending time together brings us back on track and offers opportuinites for spontaneous discussion and builds a sense of closenss that was being lost in our conflict.
Kids going into middle school often seem to abandon their familiy in favor of their friends- the only antidote to this is to work tirelessly to maintain the bond you have with your child, and to develop a sense of empowerment in their lives. I personally plan on lots of manual labor together, outside working togther to build things or fix things or grow things to achieve these ends...that way we are together, working toward a common goal and they get to see tangible fruits of their labor, as well as the sense that they have competentlymastered a previously unknown skill.
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