Ok, i started dating this girl abuot 3 years ago (i was 18, she was 16) and after abuot a month of dating I made the mistake of breaking up with her because I wasnt totally sure that I was over my ex, well at the time i was like its not fair to be dating her and still have feelings for another girl. Well abuot a year later we decided to date again and I found out that her parents were still a little bitter abuot the last time that we dated. Well we dated for abuot another month and in that month we spent almost everyday together and this is when we experienced our first kiss. Well I found out that everytime we would hang out she would "leave me out" of the explanation to her parents about what she was doing, well i didnt feel good about this so I told her that it was going to have to stop. After that she broke it off and went totally NC with me. I sent her an email abuot a week later basically just trying to understand what in the world happened. Well abuot 4 months later she called me and we decided to continue our friendship, and it has been good since then. Well my life has been quite busy for the last year and we havent had alot of time to hang out or talk and about a month ago I got an IM from her saying that she missed me, well I have always had feelings for her and so I started praying abuot it and playing again with the option that maybe we could try again. I began talking to some important people in my life abuot it and basically they came with this statement, "When 2 lovers return to each other, its probably meant to be." I know that this isnt always logical but it still has me thinking, we have spent some good time over the last like 3 weeks and wednesday night she told me that we cant get back together, and I asked why and she told me that it is beceause of her parents. I can kinda understand where they are coming from trying to protect her, but holding a grudge for 3 years i think is kinda over-doing it, not to mention we have both grown up and matured alot, and we cant even get the chance to possibly try this. I feel that honestly if we were to take her parents out of the situation that we could have a wonderful relationship and i could possibly even have found my wife. I really want to reconcile this with her parents because i think that we are both losing out on great relationships because they are holding a grudge. I really need some advice mostly on how to reconcile this. My first thought was with a letter, because im not totally sure that her parents would make the time to talk to me, so I sat own and started writing this, but it feels almost impossible to write this letter of apology, forgiveness, and then on top of that asking to date their daughter. If you guys have any advice it would be greatly appreciated because I am so stuck in this situation and really want to try and make this work, she means so much to me and think that this could be my future wife. Thank you guys ahead of time and sorry that i am so long winded in this.
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Needing some help!!! PLZ(long winded)
- Thread starter KneelingWarrior
- Start date
Krazy_4given_1
Well-Known Member
Well, you're doing the right thing with praying, so keep that up! Try not to do this on your own; let God lead you.
Easier said then done, eh?
About that letter, though. I say that's a fine way to go about it. If you think that there might be a chance that they'd sit down and talk with you, then you might want to look into that alittle more. If, however, you really don't think that's a possibility, then go with the letter. Express your thoughts without trying to force them to agree to something. The whole ordeal was with you and she, not her parents. So an apology may be a wise move, but don't 'over apologize'... ya know?
Really try to listen to God in this one, in your time of need He will carry you.
(I know this isn't much help, but maybe just hearing someone else say it to you will help you understand what to do... good luck)
God bless.
Easier said then done, eh?
About that letter, though. I say that's a fine way to go about it. If you think that there might be a chance that they'd sit down and talk with you, then you might want to look into that alittle more. If, however, you really don't think that's a possibility, then go with the letter. Express your thoughts without trying to force them to agree to something. The whole ordeal was with you and she, not her parents. So an apology may be a wise move, but don't 'over apologize'... ya know?
Really try to listen to God in this one, in your time of need He will carry you.
(I know this isn't much help, but maybe just hearing someone else say it to you will help you understand what to do... good luck)
God bless.
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AndrewD88
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Excellent approach to this situation. From your post, I have gathered several initial observations.
1. You are a great leader. Great job at being able to say "no". This is extremely respectful, as well as mature, and will lead you to become a wonderful husband some day.
2. You acknowledge her space as well as her parents. keep this up, and things should progress smoothly.
3. Your praying about it. This is excellent as well, God will lead you and this leads me to the following...
I would say that there is a chance here, and I am not a professional, believe me
But you can take word to my advice as I have taken so much notice to other couples around me. God may be calling you together, and it seems that the real hinderance is the parents.
My advice: Talk to her parents BY YOURSELF. This will show them two things...that A. Your not afraid to set things in the past straight and B. you care enough about their daughter to confront them about this issue. When I met my girlfriend, I took almost more concern to her parents than I did her, because I wanted to show them that I respected them, their rules, and her. Her parents may have certain regulations for you and her to live under, that of which you should abide by, and have no objection to.
Praying is a good thing as well, but one thing to remember, if there is to become a relationship, then you need to make sure that the relationship is COMPLETELY based on God. Devotions, bible reading, praying, and fasting are some things that should be considered in the relationship. If it is a calling of God, then God will want you to be spiritually motivated, much more than physically or emotionally.
I will be praying for the coming decisions of you, her, and her parents, and God bless you for coming and asking for advice. Good luck, God bless
1. You are a great leader. Great job at being able to say "no". This is extremely respectful, as well as mature, and will lead you to become a wonderful husband some day.
2. You acknowledge her space as well as her parents. keep this up, and things should progress smoothly.
3. Your praying about it. This is excellent as well, God will lead you and this leads me to the following...
I would say that there is a chance here, and I am not a professional, believe me
But you can take word to my advice as I have taken so much notice to other couples around me. God may be calling you together, and it seems that the real hinderance is the parents.My advice: Talk to her parents BY YOURSELF. This will show them two things...that A. Your not afraid to set things in the past straight and B. you care enough about their daughter to confront them about this issue. When I met my girlfriend, I took almost more concern to her parents than I did her, because I wanted to show them that I respected them, their rules, and her. Her parents may have certain regulations for you and her to live under, that of which you should abide by, and have no objection to.
Praying is a good thing as well, but one thing to remember, if there is to become a relationship, then you need to make sure that the relationship is COMPLETELY based on God. Devotions, bible reading, praying, and fasting are some things that should be considered in the relationship. If it is a calling of God, then God will want you to be spiritually motivated, much more than physically or emotionally.
I will be praying for the coming decisions of you, her, and her parents, and God bless you for coming and asking for advice. Good luck, God bless
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I
Inperfected
Guest
Wow. you seem to be a really respecting guy. As the above poster said, go talk to them alone, it should help and (hopefully) will boost there respect for you. Beware they may ask you to wait a while, to make sure you'll respect her, but then go ahead and keep on respecting her.
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