needing some advice

[beccasmommy]

Here is the scoop! I run a family daycare... I have my two son's and two other children regularly and then two others very casually. My little guy is 7 months and the little girl is almost 2 anyways she has a history of viciously scratching the older kids in the face and has bittem my 4 year old son once on the arm. Well yesterday while went to get a snack ready, (little guy was in the jolly jumper between my dining room and living room) she took my little guys sock and shoe off and bit him several times on his foot two of the bites actually broke the skin and the others left bruises, I am having a small dilemma because I want to tell her parents that she is no longer welcome to come to my daycare because I need it to be a safe place and she is making very unsafe and I cannot tolerate this anymore (she has already had probation period) but I feel like I am totally over reacting, am I being just an overprotective mom or is this reasonable?

 

[map4]

One thing to think about is if she bites another child in your care and the parents take legal action against you. That is a possibility.

There was a church daycare in my area that this happened to. A child did something to another child and the parents accused the church daycare of not properly supervising.

A daycare in a neighboring town had a small child go out of the building and walk into the street. Also not sure of what happened legally but that daycare is now closed.

I don't think you are overreacting. You have the safety of all the children to think about. There is no way children can be watched every second of the day. I would not want to see you be held legally responsible nor would I like for you to feel guilty should the child do something worse than biting, not that biting can't be bad enough.

Also, until the child gets out of that biting stage, are you going to be on pins and needles and stressed at having to keep such a close eye on her?
I know kids will be kids, but, again, there is no way you can watch her all the time.

 

[beccasmommy]

she bit my child so as a parent of the hurt one I really want her far away from my kiddo BUT I also have a responsibility to make sure I am being objective.

 

[map4]

What do her parents say about the biting? And how do they want you to discipline her when she bites? And, are they supportive of you? The parents actions would do a lot in helping make a decision.

I understand what you are saying because we can be like a mother bear when our little ones are hurt or wronged. It is hard to be objective.

hmm, I'm trying to think of what I would do in your place. I have worked around children all of my adult life, in daycares and now in a school. I have also kept children in my home but, fortunately, didn't have to deal with a problem like this with the ones in my home.

The thing that came to mind as I was typing is that this is your home. Your children's home. Where they should feel safe. They may not be old enough to understand about another child biting and why it is happening. Even though we adults know that some children do go through a biting stage. If it continues to happen and your little ones are affected negatively then I would seriously consider telling the parents that they need to find other arrangements.

 

[bliz]

Taking a shoe and sock off to bite a foot is not an impulse activity. She did n ot bite out of frustration or as a defensive act. She chose to bite and went out of her way to do so.

I do no think you are overreacting at all. Out she goes!

 

[jgonz]

I totally agree with bliz, that was on purpose. I'd kick her out immediately.

 

[beccasmommy]

WOW thanks guys! I really appreciate the support! The mom just called me and tore a strip off of me because I gave her no notice, She has already had a probation perid for this behaviour soooo... and I talked to my husband and first thing out of his mouth was she can't come back.

 

[Neenie1]

Taking a shoe and sock off to bite a foot is not an impulse activity. She did n ot bite out of frustration or as a defensive act. She chose to bite and went out of her way to do so.

I do no think you are overreacting at all. Out she goes!

I agree.

That was my first thought too, to take a childs shoe and sock off to bite them is something they obviously thought about doing.

Also you cannot possibly supervise the children 24 hours/day. All you can do is make the environment as safe as possible for the times you do have to turn your back (going to the toilet is one thing I can think of where you just have to do it) so the childnen can be safe as possible.

I don't think it's over-reacting and I would be kicking this kid out of my day care too.

I don't have a family day care but I regularly take my kids out with me babysitting for another family and I've got to tell you, if one of the kids did this I would no longer be babysitting for them.

 

[£amb]

I guess my answer will be alittle different. I think you should work with the parents and child to find out the source of biting. Is she angry, bored, upset? Give a couple more weeks to see if something is triggering it, and set a punishment for her doing it. If there is improvement, then it may be something that will fizzle out, but if there is nothing...then you may have to let it go.

I worked in a Preschool environment for 8 years with 2 year olds. It did not matter how well I watched or how close to the child I was, when a child decides to react...they are quite speedy.

 

[Leanna]

Personally I don't find the situation un-rectifiable. The first mistake is as follows:

yesterday while went to get a snack ready,

You leave 4 children under 5 unattended to get a snack ready? Especially knowing that one is dealing with aggression. An under 2 year old with this problem is still correctable, you just have to be diligent and keep her with you. I don't find anything alarming about it. You go to fix a snack? She goes to fix a snack. You load laundry into the washer? She loads laundry into the washer.

Keep them close, keep them busy. I don't just leave my kids unattended to go fix a snack. Toddlers *love* to help and they can do it with just a bit of practice. One can set the table with little plates, another can carry the snack to the table, etc.

You can also prep snacks the night before.

 

[tiredwalker]

WOW thanks guys! I really appreciate the support! The mom just called me and tore a strip off of me because I gave her no notice, She has already had a probation perid for this behaviour soooo... and I talked to my husband and first thing out of his mouth was she can't come back.

Probation is notice.

 

[RedTulipMom]

I don't blame you for wanting to protect your children. the fact that she took off the shoes and socks in order to bite is a bit concerning. In the future i would also suggest having the children help in preparation of the snack as well as being in the same room as you at all times. Toddlers and pre-schoolers LOVE helping out!