Needing an Online Accountability Partner

[misscee]

bellachook,

If you're serious about accountability, I am also a 20-something year old woman struggling with a sexual sin. I've tried to "quit" many times in the past, but have found myself coming back again and again. I sometimes feel deeply ashamed of this sin, but I keep reminding myself not to place this sin as greater than any other sin in my life. I also remind myself that Christ died for all sins, so that I don't have to have guilt in my life.

Let me know if you already have an accountability partner or not, and if you're still looking for one! I just registered for X3Watch (x3watch.com/x3watchfree.html)today, and I'm looking for someone to be my accountability partner on there. If you're willing to do that, I'm also willing to do that for you.

Thanks, and please let me know.

"misscee"

 

[StrugglingChild]

bellachook,

If you're serious about accountability, I am also a 20-something year old woman struggling with a sexual sin. I've tried to "quit" many times in the past, but have found myself coming back again and again. I sometimes feel deeply ashamed of this sin, but I keep reminding myself not to place this sin as greater than any other sin in my life. I also remind myself that Christ died for all sins, so that I don't have to have guilt in my life.

Let me know if you already have an accountability partner or not, and if you're still looking for one! I just registered for X3Watch (x3watch.com/x3watchfree.html)today, and I'm looking for someone to be my accountability partner on there. If you're willing to do that, I'm also willing to do that for you.

Thanks, and please let me know.

"misscee"

It is very difficult. I understand bellachook how you feel. I feel so guilty and I make promises time and time again to stop. I have periods of strength where I feel I have gotten over it and that seems to be when suddenly before I know it Satan has a hold on me again. I feel disgusting. It seems like it should be so easy, but it's been so hard.

 

[MacFall]

The problem I have with accountability partners is, you should want to do this because it is good for you. If you are keeping yourself away from sin in order to avoid exposing failure to another person, then what intrinsic motivation do you have not to do it? If you are really serious about it, then an accountability partner would be redundant. If you aren't, then your partner will not help you.

Here's some advice: I detect some self-condemnation in your post. You want to be free of the sin? Stop dwelling on it. When you fall, get back up and move on. Don't think about how bad you screwed up, don't self-flagellate, don't run from God. Repentance means turning away from something. You can't turn away from it if you are constantly obsessing about it! And it makes no difference whether you are obsessing about it in a positive or negative way. You know the old trick where you tell someone "don't think about elephants", and immediately they think of elephants? Well, by obsessing over your sin you are constantly playing that trick on yourself. If you tell yourself "don't think about sex", guess what will immediately come to mind? And if you screw up and then start thinking about how bad you screwed up, you WILL think about sex again because that is the context of the screw-up.

This isn't your burden. Cast it down at God's feet. Get up, straighten up, move on. And if you fall, do it again. And again, if you must. One thing I know for certain - from experience, and because it is a fundamental part of human psychology - you will never be free of this until you stop making such a big deal out of it.

Which brings me to my last point: Western (and especially American) Evangelical Christianity just grinds on and on and on about sex. They've gone so far as to call an absence of sexual activity and thought "purity". Well, bad news, folks. NOBODY is pure. The most sheltered child is no more "pure" than a hooker on a street corner. This is because sexuality is NOT the standard of morality. Why don't youth pastors preach sermons urgently warning against lying? Why don't auditoriums full of people take pledges against gluttony? Why is it okay for kids to indulge in violent fantasies but not sexual ones? I don't know the answer to those questions, but it is so, so wrong.

Human sexuality is created in us by God. It has its proper uses, and improper uses. Improperly used, it is sin - but sin is nothing more than falling short of perfection. EVERYONE falls short, every day, in multiple areas of their lives. A man (or woman) who masturbates seven times a day is no more or less a sinner than a child who lies to his parents, or an embezzling CEO, or a bully who picks on those weaker than himself. The habit of the Church, heaping guilt upon guilt upon guilt on sexual sin while giving only the barest of acknowledgments to everything else that a person does wrong every single day is completely backwards. The fact is, we are all sinners. The fact is, on the other hand, we are all new creations in Jesus Christ. And in Christ, there is no condemnation. Period.

What you do is not who you are. Your sin is not yours to bear. LET. IT. GO.

Not only will you see the guilt fade, you will also see yourself begin to think about it less, and the temptation decrease in frequency and strength. The only solution is to cast the burden away, see yourself for the righteous person you are in Christ, and be thankful for that.

 

[StrugglingChild]

Wow I guess I really needed to hear that. Your right MacFall. I need to let it go, stop dwelling on it. I know what triggers my falls and by dwelling on it, even if I am trying to avoid it, by thinking about it I end up falling. I need to give it to God. This really helped open my eyes, it touched me. I thank you my friend.

 

[news4thenonbeliever]

To strugglingchild and Bella or others struggling with sexual sin issues:
I created a thread called "how far gone is too far gone" and I got alot of helpfull answers on there if you would like to check it out. Its in this same young adults room. And if any of yall ever want to talk I'm totally open to it.
We all just need to embrace our moments of strength whole heartedly and thank God for those times and get on our knees and pray through those times when we are not so strong.
This can be defeated.

 

[Bobbnga]

Are u still looking for an accountability partner?

 

[Bobbnga]

Hi I am a 21 year old Christian seeking some help.
I have the hold of deep sexual sin in my life that keeps reoccurring and it has been years. I hate it. I hate myself. I really want to be free. I would like to talk to someone and would like to hold myself accountable. Please let me know if you could help, it would be very much appreciated

Hi - are you still looking for a partner?

 

[Tiago de Lima]

Hi I am a 21 year old Christian seeking some help.
I have the hold of deep sexual sin in my life that keeps reoccurring and it has been years. I hate it. I hate myself. I really want to be free. I would like to talk to someone and would like to hold myself accountable. Please let me know if you could help, it would be very much appreciated

I also have problems with pornography and masturbation, you can try Convenant eyes. I also keep falling on it sometimes. Hate yourself is the worse thing, you have to remmenber that God can make you somebody new.