Needing advice in my struggles.

[Vi]

It's possible that you are limiting God's hand in your life by accepting only pre-conceived ideas about what that looks like. This may be a control issue.

"God doesn't want to hear me" suggests you believe you know God's mind. That sent up a red flag for me. Your own thoughts might be distorted here and causing you grief. Some folks call cognitive distortions 'stinkin thinkin'. We can retrain our thought processes. Perhaps this can help you see a side of what's happening in yr life that you aren't able to 'see' right now.

If yr a reader, you can read up on thought distortions .. But certainly pray on this because you have a loving God right there to assist you through this. Scripture tells us all about God and the HS in us, so seek out God's word on this. I hope you soon embrace His presence and work within you.

 

[andrea0601]

My experience is that ones really hurtful might not be able to have a conversation with communication. And we can't make someone have a reasonable conversation. And even if we forgive someone, I believe we need to pray and test if and how we should trust a person.

And be humble, ourselves, welcoming others to test us instead of blindly trusting us based on our say-so or our saying we are entitled to their unquestioning trust. People need to become able to make sure with God.

And it is good not to allow an evil person to decide how you are and what you can do. But test what God wants you to do.

prayer for you and all of us, about our impossible people

But, in some cases, Andrea . . . we have helped certain people to do what they did. So, we need to learn how not to do things which can help wrong people get to us.

For one example, I think of a serial divorcer who used charm and dressing like she is going to a inappropriate content try-out, in order to get male attention, then she would be amazed that she has married a con artist or cheater or abuser. The ones who hurt her were wrong, but she helped it to happen. She needed to change her ways, learn how to relate and how to make sure with God about who she belongs with and if and how to trust each person.

But this takes major change which is possible only with God.

I think we, not only I, appreciate you sharing with us, Andrea

I don't think after what they did to me that trusting them will ever be an option. I will certainly continue to pray about it. I wouldn't say that I asked for what they did to me, but they couldn't of done it if i would've just told someone so in a way yeah. part my fault.. that they continued messing around with me. I definitely hope they have changed or are changing in God.

 

[andrea0601]

It's possible that you are limiting God's hand in your life by accepting only pre-conceived ideas about what that looks like. This may be a control issue.

"God doesn't want to hear me" suggests you believe you know God's mind. That sent up a red flag for me. Your own thoughts might be distorted here and causing you grief. Some folks call cognitive distortions 'stinkin thinkin'. We can retrain our thought processes. Perhaps this can help you see a side of what's happening in yr life that you aren't able to 'see' right now.

If yr a reader, you can read up on thought distortions .. But certainly pray on this because you have a loving God right there to assist you through this. Scripture tells us all about God and the HS in us, so seek out God's word on this. I hope you soon embrace His presence and work within you.

Not to be rude or anything but what do you mean by control issue? do you mean like that i think im more powerful than God or that i have trouble giving stuff to God orr? again not trying to be vindictive, i just dont understand. i know i really dont know God's mind i do know that i am confused in a lot of ways though.

 

[Swan7]

Thanks for sharing that with me i can relate to a lot you're talking about and i know i should read more and have been trying to lately.

No problem! Believe it or not reading His Word is an ongoing struggle with many Christians. Keep fighting the good fight of faith!

 

[Vi]

Hmm. How do I explain this..
Our thoughts sometimes aren't realistic, and we develop ways of automatically thinking things that aren't always accurate. Make sense? It's called Cognitive thought processing. Have you ever had someone hear a conversation and come away with a completely different conclusion of what they heard than you did?

When I read your statement I saw that you were saying God isn't listening or wanting to hear you. But how can you make that claim, you can't... Can you. You can't know God's thoughts so all your stress and anquish over this is possibly wasted time as scripture tells you He indeed loves you and works in and through your life.
So, are you right to say that God isn't listening to you. Do you believe that 100% Do you believe it 5%.
Purhaps the way you are defining things is what is causing you grief. .. Not that you are actually in a situation where you are ignored by God.
Does that make sense?

 

[Chris2555]

Been through this as well, this is what helped me stop thinking this way. I hope it helps you.

I believe it lies in understanding God's love somewhat. We read it in the bible all the time but it didnt really sink in for me until I actually experienced it by doing it.

Matthew 5:40
40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

There are many, many verses in like these in the bible, they all have the same underlying principle.

If someone asks us to go one mile, we are told to go two. Now God's not talking about just helping Christians, but non-christians, people who reject God, people who hate, people who do wrong, ECT ECT.

Why does God keep telling us to do these things? The simplest answer i can find, is because God loves them all.

Was being sinless / following the 10 commandments enough for Jesus?
Jesus did so much more then that, he gave up everyday of his life loving others, he gave everything, and then he gave his life on top of that.
Why? Because God loves them.

Instead of just trying to give up sin, try expressing Gods love to others.

For example, you see a homeless person, asking for money. Regardless, if they are fake or not, look at them and think to yourself, you know what, God loves this person so much. Buy them some food and a coffee.

Why? Because God still loves them, and doesn't want them to go hungry.

Once it starts hitting you in the heart, you start to realize just how much God loves you, and you won't feel unloved or confused anymore.

 

[andrea0601]

Been through this as well, this is what helped me stop thinking this way. I hope it helps you.

I believe it lies in understanding God's love somewhat. We read it in the bible all the time but it didnt really sink in for me until I actually experienced it by doing it.

Matthew 5:40
40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.

There are many, many verses in like these in the bible, they all have the same underlying principle.

If someone asks us to go one mile, we are told to go two. Now God's not talking about just helping Christians, but non-christians, people who reject God, people who hate, people who do wrong, ECT ECT.

Why does God keep telling us to do these things? The simplest answer i can find, is because God loves them all.

Was being sinless / following the 10 commandments enough for Jesus?
Jesus did so much more then that, he gave up everyday of his life loving others, he gave everything, and then he gave his life on top of that.
Why? Because God loves them.

Instead of just trying to give up sin, try expressing Gods love to others.

For example, you see a homeless person, asking for money. Regardless, if they are fake or not, look at them and think to yourself, you know what, God loves this person so much. Buy them some food and a coffee.

Why? Because God still loves them, and doesn't want them to go hungry.

Once it starts hitting you in the heart, you start to realize just how much God loves you, and you won't feel unloved or confused anymore.

I'm so glad that I can't sleep a wink, gave me the opportunity to truly think about this. God has shown me this as well recently, the giving to others and being more loving part. I didn't really think of it in this way though. More so of in a I have to do this thing because it's good way. I feel like i've learned so much through this problem, and i still am not 100% certain of stuff but i know growing is something that i must do. i only hope i can remember this in situations where i need to.

 

[andrea0601]

Hmm. How do I explain this..
Our thoughts sometimes aren't realistic, and we develop ways of automatically thinking things that aren't always accurate. Make sense? It's called Cognitive thought processing. Have you ever had someone hear a conversation and come away with a completely different conclusion of what they heard than you did?

When I read your statement I saw that you were saying God isn't listening or wanting to hear you. But how can you make that claim, you can't... Can you. You can't know God's thoughts so all your stress and anquish over this is possibly wasted time as scripture tells you He indeed loves you and works in and through your life.
So, are you right to say that God isn't listening to you. Do you believe that 100% Do you believe it 5%.
Purhaps the way you are defining things is what is causing you grief. .. Not that you are actually in a situation where you are ignored by God.
Does that make sense?

It does but i don't truly KNOW that God doesn't listen/doesn't want to hear me, simply at this current place in life.. to phrase it better.. i feel that he's stepped back and i am stumbling around. i suppose my real problem, like others have said is that i don't listen to what he's telling me. i may feel that he doesnt want to hear me currently but it doesnt mean that i know that he doesnt, if that makes sense.

 

[com7fy8]

I don't think after what they did to me that trusting them will ever be an option.

If a person is an evil and cruel person, it is possible he or she will stay that way; and so it will not be wise to trust that person. Also, the person likely is not capable of handling being trusted.

Also, I think of this. You certainly might not need to be alone with such people. But you can be with them while you have good people with you, who might even help them with good example. This might be the way of trusting . . . not by isolating yourself with them, but sharing your people who are good with you and they know how to handle such people.

I will certainly continue to pray about it.

And pray for them.

I wouldn't say that I asked for what they did to me, but they couldn't of done it if i would've just told someone so in a way yeah. part my fault..

I won't say you should have told anyone, or that you did well not to. I have been brutalized by people and I went right on with the Lord and did not bother to give them much attention. But that was me, and what I was going through, not necessarily a model for you!!

But in any case it is good to pray so evil people do not have power over us, to decide how we are and what we do. But we do what God has us do.

I definitely hope they have changed or are changing in God.

This may not be the same thing, like your situations in the past, but have you read what happened to Joseph? Genesis 37-50.

 

[com7fy8]

It's possible that you are limiting God's hand in your life by accepting only pre-conceived ideas about what that looks like. This may be a control issue.

Hi, Vi > God bless you, too

I think any of us can make too big of a deal about control, because control can makes us able to get things our own way, and get security. But I find that God is in control. And this is good . . . for my own sake.

But my control issues are not only a matter of my thoughts, but my character, right? So, we need how God corrects our nature, so our thoughts proceed from love, more and more.

"God doesn't want to hear me" suggests you believe you know God's mind.

i know i really dont know God's mind i do know that i am confused in a lot of ways though.

I offer that God is not giving you the silent treatment, Andrea, but God is quiet and we can connect with God by being quiet in prayer. But this comes with correction so we can be sensitive and submissive to God in His peace. And in His peace ruling in us we have thinking which He shares with us.

"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

Our thoughts sometimes aren't realistic, and we develop ways of automatically thinking things that aren't always accurate.

My selfish nature can filter out what I want to be true, right? So, do you think, then, that my character has a lot to do with what I am ready to think?

someone hear a conversation and come away with a completely different conclusion of what they heard than you did

amen

Purhaps the way you are defining things is what is causing you grief. .. Not that you are actually in a situation where you are ignored by God.

i may feel that he doesnt want to hear me currently but it doesnt mean that i know that he doesnt

May be the prayer God hears is what you are thinking.

So, I might test every thought as prayerfully as I can.

Vi is right, how God does dearly love each of us.

And Jesus has already taken the major step of leaving Heaven itself in order to reach us and even so suffer and die for every one of us . . . with hope for any evil person, at all > love "hopes all things" (in 1 Corinthians 13:7).

So, Jesus is not conceited, like ones who might have messed with you, Andrea. He is so superior to all of us; yet, Jesus does not look down on us and feel it is a good idea to mess with us. But the mean spirit of the ones who have messed with you might have a part in effecting how you see yourself. Possibly, we could feel that ones do not really care about us, if they did not prevent certain things from happening.

This happened to me; one time a person did something wrong to me and I insisted my mother keep an eye on us; she said she would but I could not see her watching out the window; so I assumed she was not keeping her word. And I let that effect my view of things, for some time. But now I realize she might have concealed herself so the other person would not see her and my mother could catch her.

But . . . our Heavenly Father desires that we depend on Him, not my mother or brother or others He will use people, yes, but depend on Him

Even if we don't see what God is doing, who else is there who is worthy of our trust; who else is it wise to trust? Even be wise not to depend on your own self; or yes there will be control problems. Maybe this is part of what Vi means. While we may be well excused not to trust certain other people > I can be my own real problem. This is maybe part of why Jesus says that in order to follow Jesus . . . we need to deny our own selves > Luke 9:23. So, even if others are not trustworthy and we might look better to ourselves than they do . . . we also are not to be depended on, but depend on God, knowing He guarantees He cares for us >

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

It is humbling to realize that God is the One who really cares about us, so more and better than how we might be concerned about our own selves.

 

[Andrew77]

I'm not quite sure how that works either, don't you have to have a certain numbers of messages or something to write or pm someone?

Click on her avatar, and click on "start conversation".

Some people have this disabled in their profile. I honestly do not know how to disable it, or re-enable it. If the other person has it disabled, or you do, it won't let you start a conversation with them. I don't know how to fix that.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

As of late I have felt like a failure, I don't intentionally do anything against God, no hidden sin or anything like that. I've repented of my past, and changed. I still feel like I haven't done enough and that God doesn't want to hear me. I can't seem to break free of these thoughts. I don't pray enough, don't read my bible enough. I can't tell enough of the truth, when I accidentally misspeak when I'm not really thinking about it I dwell on it. I feel unloved and confused. I pray for guidance and help and peace but all I feel is pain, at night when I lay in my bed is when I think about it the most. My entire life seems to be in shambles right now, how do I cry loud enough to be heard? What am I doing wrong? Unrepented sin? I just need guidance and I need help.

Do not depend so much on oneself and works. (We) need to relax a little more and put total trust in God. That's where we will find relief.

As I grow older I sin less but, my sin bothers me more.

(We) need to look at that as a good sign.

M-Bob

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

It does but i don't truly KNOW that God doesn't listen/doesn't want to hear me, simply at this current place in life.. to phrase it better.. i feel that he's stepped back and i am stumbling around. i suppose my real problem, like others have said is that i don't listen to what he's telling me. i may feel that he doesnt want to hear me currently but it doesnt mean that i know that he doesnt, if that makes sense.

Most people on earth are stumbling around in darkness, as written "the blind lead the blind and they both fall in the ditch" ......
but for everyone seeking the Light, Jesus, Who came into the world to save sinners,
Perhaps, I think, you are listening to God sometimes,
and also listening to other voices, human or in spiritual realm(mind/soul/spirit?) ,
thus not listening ONLY to God, as He Says. He is very close, and hears our prayers, unless we consider sin (as if it is okay to do) in our hearts. (i.e. rebel against Him)

So as written in the Bible,
have a single eye looking to the Father in heaven; take are what you listen to; test everything - don't accept what is not in line with God's Word and "first of all pure, peaceable, etc etc "

 

[Paul G West Sr]

As of late I have felt like a failure, I don't intentionally do anything against God, no hidden sin or anything like that. I've repented of my past, and changed. I still feel like I haven't done enough and that God doesn't want to hear me. I can't seem to break free of these thoughts. I don't pray enough, don't read my bible enough. I can't tell enough of the truth, when I accidentally misspeak when I'm not really thinking about it I dwell on it. I feel unloved and confused. I pray for guidance and help and peace but all I feel is pain, at night when I lay in my bed is when I think about it the most. My entire life seems to be in shambles right now, how do I cry loud enough to be heard? What am I doing wrong? Unrepented sin? I just need guidance and I need help.

Andrea,

Fall deeply in love with God! He loves you so much, just the way you are. The more you love Him, the more you will feel His love, and the more you'll know His forgiveness, and live in happiness.

When we look for a husband or wife, we spend time with that person, we we miss the person when we aren't close; we just want to be with them. That's the way we are, when we are a true Christian. We want to do things for the person. We curry their favor.

You know what, Jesus/God/Holy Spirit wants to be that close to you. It is not an accident that He/They refer to us as His/Their Bride! They want to be that close! His church is His Bride!

When your love affair with Him become that strong, all of these worries & fears you write about will disappear, and when you fail, as we all do, you will take it to Him, repent, and feel His love wiping out the trespass. He died for your sin on the cross, so don't drag it out & wail over it. Simply say, "Thanks Jesus, you died for that and it cannot keep hold me.

 

[YClaire01]

I think there are many bibles verses referencing your question, here are verses I think may help you

Matthew 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
Deuteronomy 31:7-8 "Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them as their inheritance. The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Our god cares about us. No matter what's happening, God never leaves us.
Peace in Christ.

 

[SavedNoCompromise]

You are loved more than you realize. The Lord desires for all souls to be reconciled unto Him. I'm believing God for you to get delivered from the spirit of condemnation and the spirit of "not enough". Seek God. He will draw nigh to you as you draw nigh to Him.
1) Read that Word daily. You will feel the Spirit of God drawing you more and more.
2) Chat with a pastor and get personal prayer. Gene Moody lives in Louisiana but is responsive to phone calls and chats with people. You can also chat with Pastor Mike @prophet_lass - follow and tweet him ask him something DM
3) Enjoy the peace and love of the Lord! It is a gift waiting to be poured over and in you in fullness.
4) Seek deliverance if you have emotions that have you feeling down. God is not an author of confusion. Declare the truth and promises of God! Say them outloud for your mouth and mind to hear you say them.
5) 75 Biblical Declarations to Speak Over Yourself - Igniting Hope Ministries
6) Read about the Christian Life - by Watchman Nee
7) Book recommendation: Living in God's Power by John G Lake
8) Read the Power of Faith by Smith Wigglesworth
9) Seek a deliverance minister such as Alexander Pagani (author of Secrets to Deliverance), Kimberly Daniels (author of Inside Out) or John Zavlaris in New Jersey

 

[andrea0601]

I really appreciate these replies and your time. These are all so helpful. God truly reveals his love through people like y'all, i've been trying to get back closer with God lately, i had almost given up due to discouragement and feeling like God wanted nothing to do with me but the other day i just picked up my bible and read. this preacher preached on being hungry for God's word and how important it is, and how we need the meat as well as the broken down milk of the spoken word. It is vital, and we can become spiritually malnourished, hearing this made me feel like i need to read the word again and whne i did i felt such love i cried. It's something i cannot explain, seeing these replies and that just encourages me so much.