need your advice

[wolfiswill]

Hi Everyone,

One of my best friends (who is a girl) and I have been good friends for two years. We have a really close friendship. A while back (about a year ago) I told her how I felt about her. At the time she wasn't ready to date. A few months later it came up again and we decided to take a month and pray about it. During this month we wouldn't go out of our way to talk with each other. Well over that month I felt like God was saying not right now and he begin changing the way I felt. So we talked about it and decided to just remain friends. Now a year later those feelings are starting to come back. I would like to share this with her sometime in the furture. I know now isn't the right time because both of us were recently hurt by other people. When should I discuss this with her. Personally I want to wait a few months and let the friendship grow and then discuss this with her. What do you think?

 

[fishstix]

No one here is going to be able to tell you just when to talk with her about it. Ask God for advice - it will be much better than any human advice we could give you. If God is leading you to wait, then wait. If He says it's time, then it's time.

 

[Sketcher]

Yeah, I'd wait. Preferably until you know for sure whether or not you and her should date. I've got a friend in your shoes, and the woman who he's discussed this with time and again I think has been really jostled around by all the relational talk. I mean, going from pseudo-dating to aquaintance and back again is not a good thing, and when you put God's will in it, that just makes it harder and wierder when somebody changes their mind.

 

[JPPT1974]

No one here is going to be able to tell you just when to talk with her about it. Ask God for advice - it will be much better than any human advice we could give you. If God is leading you to wait, then wait. If He says it's time, then it's time.

God's advice the one and only true and most important advice!!

 

[Sinless_angels]

I was in a silmar situation once...
Me and one of my males friends were really close for a long time..

We decided not to date and he moved away..

Then he moved back here while I was in a relationship and it turns out he moved bcak here just to be with me... My feelings for him had gone and wernt going to come back... I think it really upset him when I told him it was never going to happen but he still hear a year later still dropping hints and all sorts.

Just be careful you might not get the answer you want. Guard your heart and pray about it.

Hi Everyone,

One of my best friends (who is a girl) and I have been good friends for two years. We have a really close friendship. A while back (about a year ago) I told her how I felt about her. At the time she wasn't ready to date. A few months later it came up again and we decided to take a month and pray about it. During this month we wouldn't go out of our way to talk with each other. Well over that month I felt like God was saying not right now and he begin changing the way I felt. So we talked about it and decided to just remain friends. Now a year later those feelings are starting to come back. I would like to share this with her sometime in the furture. I know now isn't the right time because both of us were recently hurt by other people. When should I discuss this with her. Personally I want to wait a few months and let the friendship grow and then discuss this with her. What do you think?

 

[SmEaGoL!]

I say go for it. I believe the reason your feelings still exists for this girl means something, and you should not let them pass away as you have noticed, they haven't.

 

[Singing Bush]

Well in my not so humble opinion, even if a relationship somehow came of this, it would not be a fruitful one in the long run. You've known this girl well now for 2 years and your feelings have come and waned. Hers have likewise. You really think you're both going to explode w/ affection once you decide to start dating?

Unless there are very specific and extraordinary external factors why a relationship was not good in the past, ambivalence is just another form of lukewarm love. You may very much care for the girl and vice versa, but if you haven't fallen romantically head over heals for her over the past two years, I see no reason for that to change. The faster you visualize your friendship w/ her as solely that the faster you'll be content w/ it.

Of course this is only from my own experience and thought process, and as I don't know the full situation, characters involved, or where you feel God is leading you; take it for whatever it's worth.

 

[drumbum]

speaking from experience, i would say just let it be. stay as friends. don't ruin what you have. my best friend and i in high school told each other how we felt about each other but it didn't work out. with us, we had such a good friendship that it ended up becoming a joke, like "do you remember when we almost hooked up?". but, with other friends of mine, i've seen it go the other way where they don't even talk to each other anymore. it's natural to be attracted to your best friend b/c you guys have such a good relationship. but, unless God leads you both into a relationship, i would say leave it alone.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Give the past relationship some healing time. But if she capturs your heart, be sure to tell her at the right time. Better sooner than later,IMO. For now, definitely develop the friendship and tell her that you enjoy it.

 

[Paddy the Irishman]

good book to read
sex, love or infatuation by Ray E Short

i wouldn't "go for it" like smegal sed, you don't want to become attachments of acceptance becoz of your recent experiences, instead you need time to heal from those experiences.
what's her passion/vision? what's yours?

maybe God's saying "not right now" so that you become more focussed on Him rather that on her or other relationships.

Ps 37:4
Prv 3:5-6

peace
Paddy

 

[JPPT1974]

You will get different opinions and advice but the best advice giver as always belongs to God.