Need Valentine's Day Advice

[Fatolia]

I have a friend-girl who is single this holiday (as am I). Her birthday is also on the 14th, and I was thinking it would be special and kind of humorous if I would send her both a birthday card and a valentine's day card. I was also thinking of making a mold of her name in silicon and forging a chocolate device of her name engraved inside. Does this seem too romantic? I seem to send mixed messages a lot to women, and I don't want this to be interpreted in the wrong way...but on the other hand, I don't want to be so blunt and say on the card, "This is just for platonic interaction. I project no romantic intentions with this gesture."

She understands (I think) that we have a platonic relationship, but I want to maintain the probability that I'm not messing with her head. Any ideas on the potential result of this?

 

[white dove]

any kind of engraving (whether it be engraving a name into some chocolate, engraving a name into a Things Remembered frame or engraving someone's name into your arm.. ) insinuates a kind of special feeling that you have for someone; engraving is permanent, yes? So are the feelings projected in such a gift...I'd say, pass on it & do s/t more cornball & off-the-wall....like getting some cheese molded into the words 'valentine's day' ; that way, you are making a cheesy statement about the holiday...ahahaha..*wipes tear*..

 

[Fatolia]

Well, I do have a special feeling for her...She's my sister in Christ... and I cherish her dearly

 

[white dove]

then if you feel comfortable w/ giving her such a gift, give it to her in all sincerity..

don't mind me & my oddball sense of humor...

it's just that if I were a girl (which I am ) & if I had a guy friend who was also a brother in Christ (which I do ) & my birthday was coming up kiiinda around the same *time* as Valentine's day (which I kinda sorta do ) and he gave me s/t w/ my name engraved in it, I would totally take it the wrong way~like, whoa..

that's all..

 

[cnhn9801]

I think it's a really sweet gift, but unless you're absolutely sure that both of you are on the same page in terms of it being a platonic relationship, then I might find something else. If it's perfectly clear to both you and her, then go for it!! I would love to get a gift like that!!

 

[Fatolia]

Well, she always talks about how she'd like to marry this guy in Kentucky "if that's God's will..." She never shows any romantic interest in me, and she knows that I desire celibacy, so that's why I believe that she'll take it alright...but I'm not sure.

 

[Princess Pea]

It sounds like a wonderful relationship, and her birthday is a perfect opportunity to show her how much you care about her - as a friend. I think bringing Valentine's Day into it will just mess with her head, even if that's not what you intend. Honestly, my first reaction was "Are you sure you don't have a romantic interest in her?" Are you positive she won't ask the same question? Or do you want her to? Hmmmm ... anyway, sleep well ...

 

[Iggster]

Fatolia.....You sure you desire celibacy. Because sending her that gift will make her think otherwise. I'm not sure you do desire celibacy as one of the ways of giving a gift is by taking your own time to make one for somebody, so they feel special.

If you say it's platonic, leave the Valentine's stuff out of it. Otherwise, I think in your subconscience you have a thing for this girl. You just won't admit it....Or is celibacy your cover up? Deny it all you want, man....

 

[fishstix]

I have a friend-girl who is single this holiday (as am I). Her birthday is also on the 14th, and I was thinking it would be special and kind of humorous if I would send her both a birthday card and a valentine's day card. I was also thinking of making a mold of her name in silicon and forging a chocolate device of her name engraved inside. Does this seem too romantic? I seem to send mixed messages a lot to women, and I don't want this to be interpreted in the wrong way...but on the other hand, I don't want to be so blunt and say on the card, "This is just for platonic interaction. I project no romantic intentions with this gesture."

She understands (I think) that we have a platonic relationship, but I want to maintain the probability that I'm not messing with her head. Any ideas on the potential result of this?

Most people would almost certainly take that as a romantic gesture.

 

[hischildsindik]

Just tread on careful waters there Fatolia. They do have such things as Valentine's Birthday cards. I have a sister and a friend who were born on Valentine's day. But you have to get them early, they go fast.

As for the engraved name in chocolate... if you are sure she will take it the right way do so, but I would heed caution on it really. As another gal I think it could be taken as slightly more than friendship. Instead of her name, how about 'friends'? Be clear in your card(s) either way. With being a birthday and the hideous holiday it is, it can leave her in a vulnerable place for that day or the surrounding ones, especially if you know she desires to marry one day. I think, if there is any one day something like that could be taken wrong, it would definitely be Valentine's day.

 

[Fatolia]

HAHA! You hit the nail on the head! You decided to be a man and take a risk to tell the truth. You ladies are right too...I've got to be careful, but I don't see how in the world a girl who doesn't have interest in me would take this as a romantic gesture. With other women, if it's clear that our relationship ought to be as it is now, it's okay if I do sort of romantic things because it makes them feel special....it's not romance in the sense that I am after them...it's romance in the sense that she knows that she is loved.

I was talking with my grandma a while back: she tells me that when she was younger it was a time that you could just go out on a date with a man and dance with him closely, just to have fun, without worrying about committment or emotional attachment or sex or anything...just for fun.. Where have those times gone?

Fatolia.....You sure you desire celibacy. Because sending her that gift will make her think otherwise. I'm not sure you do desire celibacy as one of the ways of giving a gift is by taking your own time to make one for somebody, so they feel special.

If you say it's platonic, leave the Valentine's stuff out of it. Otherwise, I think in your subconscience you have a thing for this girl. You just won't admit it....Or is celibacy your cover up? Deny it all you want, man....

 

[jenptcfan]

Why not just send her a birthday card and include a happy valentine's day wish with that? That way it's not really a romantic thing, but you're still acknowledging her birthday and valentine's day.

 

[Iggster]

Fatolia...We should call you," Romeo." Give it all you got, man. You got my vote. You do any more of this romantic stuff and the ladies on this thread will melt.... Stay blessed, braw....

 

[Living4Him03]

gosh, i'd just be so glad to have a friend care so much on valentines to do something for me that I wouldn't care if it seemed overly romantic or not! lol But she's probably less of a loser lol

 

[Fatolia]

YEAHHH!!! I'll go for it.

Heh if she suspects any intentions other than friendship then I'll have to sit down and have a good talk with her to explain everything, which I'd appreciate the opportunity anyway! hehehehehehe..... I've really got to stop worrying about stuff so much

 

[latteda]

One of my best friends is a man that sometimes does special things for me. But he and I consistently assure each other that we're ONLY friends. However, it sounds to me like you are risking her taking things wrongly--and if you care about her really you'll show some caution. My advice would be, if you really feel like it's something you'd like to do:

1. Make it for her birthday only. Why include the Valentine's Day in it at all?
2. If you do include a Valentine's Day wish, why not tell her something about how you look forward to seeing how God will work in her life and lead her to her husband? Or something that shows that you will be excited to see her involved with someone romantically (while inferring, of course, that you aren't expecting it to be you).

Just my two cents.

 

[Fatolia]

How about a "will you be Jesus's" instead of a "will you be mine" Valentine's day card? Turn it into a romance for him, not for a human being. That way she won't feel lonely on that day. It seemed as if she was often lonely because no one's ever taken her on a date on her B-day/Valentine's Day. Why not encourage her to seek after the real man of her dreams: Jesus himself!

Changing names to protect the innocent: How about if I make the chocolate say something on the order of "Jesus [heart symbol] Terry"? It will require a ton of chocolate, but that way the silly threat of the 'something more' demon is annihilated.

It seems like we've got a division in opinion here...

 

[fishstix]

How about a "will you be Jesus's" instead of a "will you be mine" Valentine's day card? Turn it into a romance for him, not for a human being. That way she won't feel lonely on that day. It seemed as if she was often lonely because no one's ever taken her on a date on her B-day/Valentine's Day. Why not encourage her to seek after the real man of her dreams: Jesus himself!

Changing names to protect the innocent: How about if I make the chocolate say something on the order of "Jesus [heart symbol] Terry"? It will require a ton of chocolate, but that way the silly threat of the 'something more' demon is annihilated.

It seems like we've got a division in opinion here...

Now that sounds like a very good idea.

 

[Iggster]

Great thinkin' braw.... My golly, you're a genius...Genius, I say...GENIUS....muahahahahaha

 

[latteda]

How about a "will you be Jesus's" instead of a "will you be mine" Valentine's day card? Turn it into a romance for him, not for a human being. That way she won't feel lonely on that day. It seemed as if she was often lonely because no one's ever taken her on a date on her B-day/Valentine's Day. Why not encourage her to seek after the real man of her dreams: Jesus himself!

Changing names to protect the innocent: How about if I make the chocolate say something on the order of "Jesus [heart symbol] Terry"? It will require a ton of chocolate, but that way the silly threat of the 'something more' demon is annihilated.

It seems like we've got a division in opinion here...

Awesome!